Confession

by Lord Archive

This has some dark and WAFF elements to it.

Characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Communication, and
some other companies. Used without permission. I'll return them,
I can only stand to be hit by a mallet so many times.
*>WHAM<* "Archive no baka!"
Ite!

-----------------------------

 Ranma 
sighed.  He glanced at his 
strangely withdrawn fiancee.  


Akane was lost in thought as she trudged up the mountain alongside
her fiance. She knew very well what her father hoped they would do 
during this trip, but she really doubted she could go through with 
THAT. She knew of an obstacle that prevented her from being that close 
to Ranma, one Ranma was unaware of. She sighed, realizing it was about 
time he did know. Alone in the woods would be the best place to tell 
him... She hoped.

Akane really didn't want to tell him. It was something that could 
drive him away. She could lose him by telling him this. But if she 
didn't tell him and he found out after they were married, she wasn't 
sure they would stay married.

The young Tendo girl stayed lost in her thoughts. She wanted to know 
if this was right decision. After what happened in China, she knew she 
never wanted to lose Ranma. She knew in her heart that their 
relationship needed to be built on trust and openness. Admittedly Akane
was rather weak on those points, and by telling Ranma this, she would 
be open to him and it would be a large step towards fully trusting him.

Akane sighed. If she told Ranma this, and he left, then perhaps they 
were never meant to be together in the first place. She looked at her 
fiance and decided that in order to get the best results, she would 
not fight with him for ANY reason. She didn't want to give anymore 
excuses for him to leave her.


They found a good place to set up camp, and Ranma was rather happy 
that Akane let him cook dinner. Once finished, they sat through a 
silent meal.

Ranma might not have been the most observant person, but he did notice 
something was bothering Akane. "Hey, what have ya done with Akane?"

"What was that?" Akane asked, confused.

"Well, you haven't been yourself since we left, and I'm starting to 
wonder if you are Akane," Ranma replied with a slight smirk.

Akane's lips twitched slightly, whether from amusement or anger, Ranma 
couldn't tell. She then sighed.  She looked down and said, "Ranma, there is 
something I need to tell you. I probably should've told you this a 
long time ago, but this is something I don't want anyone to know. I 
REALLY don't want to tell you, but it's something you have to know."

Ranma became a little nervous. "Akane, if ya don't want to..."

"Ranma, please. You have to know this. If there is any hope for us to 
truly be married, you have to know."

Ranma audibly gulped.

Akane looked away from Ranma, as if afraid to make eye contact now. 
"Have you ever wondered why I'm so violent, Daddy is so emotional, 
Nabiki so mercenary, and Kasumi so withdrawn?"

"Um, yeah," Ranma replied, not sure if he should say more.

"You probably think it's because of my mother's death, right?" 

Ranma nodded nervously.

"That is part of the reason, but that's not entirely the reason. 
Something else happened shortly after mom died..."

Akane closed her eyes tightly as she began to tell Ranma with a 
shaking voice and a couple tears running down her face.

"I was almost thirteen when my mother died. At the time Daddy 
practically moved into the dojo trying to find release from his pain 
in the art. Kasumi took mother's place, because no one else was 
available. Nabiki stayed in her room and cried. I, however, went 
everywhere that reminded me of my mother. That proved to be the 
biggest mistake of my life.

"About a month after mom died, I went to the small park a block away 
from home. Mom took me there almost weekly while I was growing up. I 
sat in the my favorite swing, and cried. All I wanted at that moment 
was to feel my mother's gentle hands push me in the swing like she 
had done so many time before. But, as much as I wished it, I knew 
she would never be able to push me in that swing again.

"It wasn't until I noticed the street lights turning on that I 
realized how late it was. I knew I had to rush home for dinner, not 
because I was hungry but because I didn't want anyone to worry. So I 
left the park for home..."

Akane's voice suddenly cracked. "I only made it half-way there... I 
was stopped by two guys. They had to be no older sixteen or seventeen 
at the time. They asked why I was in such a hurry, why I was out so 
late... and asked if I wanted their company that night."

Ranma stared at Akane in shock. 

Akane's tears streamed down her face, and her voice was registering on 
the Richter scale. "Of course all I wanted was to go home. But-but... 
they... grabbed me and... carried me..."  "...And when they brought me to a deserted house...
they r-ripped off my c-clothes and... r-r-raped me."

Ranma looked at Akane as she cried into her hands, unable to speak. 
He didn't know what to think. Akane, his fiancee, had been raped as
a child. If he ever found them, he'd kill them... slowly.

Ranma continued to stare at her. Akane wasn't a virgin. She had sex 
with a guy. True it was rape, but he wouldn't lose any honor now if
he refused to marry her.

Akane's entire body shook as she cried, and Ranma couldn't take 
seeing her like that. She needed to be comforted somehow.  He approached her, but then got an idea when he 
saw their drinking water.

Minutes later Akane's crying lessened and she realized she'd been 
crying into female Ranma's shoulder, and that Ranma was hugging her. 
"R-Ranma?"

Ranma wasn't sure what to say. "Are you okay now, Akane?"

"Um, I guess. How come you're a girl? I thought you'd react 
differently than this." Akane didn't move from Ranma's embrace.

Ranma took a deep breath. "Well, after what you just said, I thought 
that you might not want to be touched by a guy at the moment... and 
I'm still trying to figure out how I should react. I-I've never had 
to deal with anything like this. All I know is if I ever get my hands
on those bastards that did that to you, they will die."

Akane smiled slightly. "Well, someone beat you to it. They were found 
dead a couple weeks later, but not before they raped and killed Kuno's
mother. The police think the Kunos know who killed them, but they have
never given any information."

Something bothered Ranma for a second, and then he thought of what it 
might be. "That happened over three years ago, right?"

Akane nodded.

"Isn't that when Principal Kuno decided to take a long Hawaiian 
vacation? You don't suppose he killed them?"

"Wouldn't surprise me if he did."

"Great," Ranma mumbled. "Now I'm suppose to be grateful to that 
lunatic." She sighed. "I wish when Dr. Tofu had warned me against
trying to become intimate with you, he told me why."

"What do you mean Dr. Tofu warned you?" Akane asked, pulling away from
Ranma's embrace.

"Akane, he told me that something in your past had made you angry 
and afraid of intimacy. If I tried to seduce you, you might've tried 
to kill me and it would've killed any chances of us getting married. 
He told me that any, ah, intimacies should be started by you."

"I doubt I would've tried to kill you," Akane muttered.

"What about when I was under the effects of Shampoo's mushrooms? You 
tried to turn me into a pin-cushion with a bow and arrows because I 
hugged you."

"So I over-reacted," Akane said sheepishly. "Why didn't you ask me
about why Dr. Tofu warned you against seducing me?"

"Because Dr. Tofu said that you needed to talk to someone about it, 
but the problem was you had to be the one to start talking about it. 
How many times have you talked about it since it happened?"

Akane looked down and closed her eyes. "Um, once... to the police 
officers and Dr. Tofu. I never even told my family about it, Dr. Tofu 
did. I never felt comfortable enough around anyone in my family to 
talk about it to them. I considered Dr. Tofu, but with the crush I had 
on him before it happened and how helpful he was afterwards, I 
couldn't bring myself to talk about that to him... to remind him I was 
no longer pure and innocent."

"How come you never talked to your family about it?"

Akane sighed and gazed into the campfire. "After it happened, I went 
into the dojo determined that no guy would ever touch me again. Dad 
tried to teach me, but he couldn't bear to look at me. He went into 
his room and started to emotionally break down. I thought for a while 
it was because he was ashamed of me, that he didn't love me anymore. 
I later found out that while he was ashamed, he wasn't ashamed of me, 
but himself since he'd failed to protect both me and my mother.

"Kasumi couldn't believe the world could hold such things as parents 
dying on young children and rapists, so she began her slide into 
obliviousness. One of the reasons I've been so angry with you was 
because with your curse and all the insanity that happened around you, 
it strengthened her retreat from seeing the world as it is.

"Nabiki also looked at the injustice of it all, and went the other 
route. Do onto others before they do it to you. If the world wasn't 
going to be kind to her and her family, she saw no need to be kind to 
the world."

Akane sighed. "Then there was my reaction. I was angry. Angry at the 
world, and angry at myself. How could that happen to me, to anyone?! 
I'm the daughter of a great martial artist, I should've been able to 
defend myself! But it did happen to me, and I never really came to 
terms with it. The only reason I'm even facing it now is because of 
you. I doubt I'll graduate high school as Tendo Akane, and if we do 
get married I will have to do something that I've associated with the 
worst part of my life."

"Akane, you never HAVE to do THAT if you don't want to," Ranma said,
red faced.

Akane shook her head. "Trust me, it is something I want to do... 
eventually. It's just I'm afraid that it'll disgust me like it had 
then. Besides, what good is being married if you don't, ah, consummate 
it." Her face took a crimson hue.

"Um, how come you wanted to marry me when we got back from China?"

Akane sighed. "I was still recovering from what happened in China. I 
nearly died, and it scared me. I realized either of us could die at 
any time. I didn't want to take the chance of losing you, so I went 
along with Daddy's plan. Because I knew you love me, and don't you 
dare deny it, I would've married you in every way... Even if I would 
be uncomfortable about some of it."

Ranma smiled a little. "Well, part of the reason I denied it then was 
because I was afraid you weren't ready."

"Oh? What were the rest of the reasons?"

Ranma laughed nervously. "Well, I guess you could say cold feet. 
Anyway, how come you never talked about it to a friend?"

"I did think of telling Sayuri and Yuka, but I doubt they would've 
understood. They were twelve at the time. How are they supposed to 
have a clue what I was going through? Hell, most adults don't have a 
clue about what I went through. Being raped is a violation that words 
can NOT describe. The sheer lack of control, lack of..."

"...Justice, complete wrongness, the tearing of your soul, how you 
feel somehow worthless," Ranma interrupted Akane and continued on.

Akane's eyes widen in shock. "Y-you w-were..."

Ranma turned her head not wanting to look at Akane at that moment. 
"No. I'm actually referring to what I feel sometimes about my curse. 
It robs me of control of my life. It's a terrible punishment onto me 
for a crime of just being somewhere I shouldn't have been. There are 
times I turn into a girl and feel a piece of me has died."

"I-I never thought about your curse that way." Akane looked down at
the ground. "I'm sorry. I should've known better than anyone what 
you were going through, but I refused to think about your problems...
just mine." Her tears once again rolled down her cheeks.

"Akane, it's all right. I understand that you didn't want to face it. 
When Dr. Tofu compared my curse to being raped, I didn't want to face 
my curse. Eventually I was somewhat willing to face my curse,  you weren't willing to face your past yet. I've 
largely come to terms with what I am now, and can help you face your 
past."

Akane smiled. "Thank you, Ranma." She wanted to say more, but words 
seemed inadequate for what she wanted to say.

"It's getting late. We should get some sleep." Ranma wiped a couple 
tears from Akane's face. "Are you going to be all right?"

Akane nodded. "Yes. I think so." She then decided on something she 
thought about on to the way the camp sight. "Um, Ranma, while I may 
not be, um, ready to make love to you yet, I was thinking..."

"What is it?"

"Well, could we, um, sleep sort of together? If I get used to your 
presence, it should help me be ready sooner."

Ranma looked at Akane and, after a long moment, answered, "If it's 
what you want."

Akane nodded.

Ranma turned back into a guy and went into the same tent Akane did. 
After joining their sleeping bags, they crawled into bed. Shortly 
after saying their goodnights, Akane fell asleep.

Hours later Ranma was still awake and was surprised to note that Akane 
seemed to be at peace, and wasn't thrashing around at night like he'd 
seen her do in the past. He stared at Akane, unable to find sleep. 

There was always something about Akane that made Ranma nervous. Not 
the same nervousness that Shampoo generated, which was more of fear, 
but of uncertainty. Uncertain of how he felt about the girl asleep in 
his arms. He wondered why he put up with her, with her anger, and now 
with the fact she wasn't 'pure.' He could only come up with one 
answer. "I guess I do love you," Ranma whispered, and it somehow 
sounded right. He fell asleep shortly afterwards.

-----------------------

Author's Notes:

I didn't do a flash back scene for what happened because Akane was 
only go over what happened- she didn't give details. She didn't 
relive the moments in her memory, she just told them.

When Mrs. Tendo died is, to my knowledge, never stated in the manga
series. (If a reference of 10 years ago is made, that doesn't count
since that appears to mean a long time ago.)

The idea is actually an old one that came to me after reading a story 
that it was Kasumi that was raped as a child and told Ranma about it. 
The first thought I had about it was that it was plausible. The second 
thought is that if it happened to anyone in Ranma, it would be Akane. 
There is even canonical evidence to support it:

In manga vol 10 (11 in Japanese) Shampoo's mushroom story: 
After Kasumi implied Ranma might try to seduce Akane, her watching a 
movie with an implied date rape scene, and Ranma hugging her- Akane 
tried to pound Ranma into paste with a mallet and a bokken and to turn 
him into a pin cushion with a bow and arrows (a bit excessive if you 
ask me).

Numerous other times Akane overreacts to Ranma appearing overly 
amorous. Such as Ranma sneaking into her room to deal with P-Chan.

The real reason why Akane hates boys, with only Dr. Tofu as the 
exception when Ranma arrives.

Why Akane seems to be more comfortable around female Ranma.

Why Akane thrashes around at night.

Why Soun still tried to get Ranma to marry Akane, even after finding 
out Ranma has no honor due to multiple engagements (among other 
things). 

Why does she trust Ryoga? Because besides trying to kill Ranma, he's
always tried to protect her and has not tried to make a move on her
of his own accord. (That's Akane's POV not the readers'.) Her refusal
to see him otherwise shows a possible defense mechanism.

Why did she consider falling in love with Shinnosuke? Because it was
her fault he was dying. The shame of being responsible for someone's
death out-weighed the shame of being raped. Also, given his weakened 
state and imminent death [or so she thought], she would be unlikely to 
have to "perform" more than once, if that.

What about the Battle Dougi? First off while the suit implies it can 
only be used by a virgin, but that isn't how it's stated. Ranma was 
suppose to seduce Akane to show she's in love with someone else. 
Prior sexual knowledge without love, may not trigger 'Dou-chan's'
jealousy. Second, Ranma wanted to get rid of the Dougi, so he sort
of forgot Dr. Tofu's warning about seducing Akane. (The Dougi is
a magical, intelligent battlesuit with near Happosai level 
perversion and it makes Akane stronger than Ranma when worn. The two
means to defeat the Dougi wearer (who must be female) is to either 
hit the yin-yang button or that the owner's heart obviously belongs
to someone else.)

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/fuji/9061/miscel