August 2002
The 27th
-i guess who's around u really does make a difference.........right now at work, the staff has changed completely, those i knew well, and actually does work have all left me behind. I feel stranded and sometimes i just feel like breaking down coz i can't run the whole place by myself and trust me at times, it feels like that. I just feel like quitting.......but then i have no $$.....
-hm..a 50 year old guy tried to pick me up in indigo today..........hm..maybe i should've let him pick me up..maybe he was rich............2 late now.....
The 20th
-OK...i've gotten out of the cycle of writing these.......so that's y is a weekly update....
-i've just realize that i've spend 2 years...doing nothing.......and i mean nothing.....what the heck happened i wondered? anyways........gotta change this.....
-last wk, spend alot of time thinking of what to buy for my friend as her b-day present........in a situation like this....does it mean that I don't know her well enough to buy her a present? Or she's just a difficult person to buy for? hm.....
-I'm watching the TVB series, "lok Sun" now.......I like it...I dunno ever since young i like these "ancient ppl" series better than modern ones........coz the ancient ones have pretty clothes.....i think anyways........!
-this is my result from a quiz.........what's yours?
The 11th
- OK...i've gotten really lazy with this page.......hvn't wrote in it for 8 months now....but y did I start agaiN? well....i find is a good thing for me.....coz i can always look back and see at that time what happened to me or when somethin' happened to me....so thats y i'm starting to write in here again..
- reading up in my old diaries...i find that what i'm thinking now is no different from that of me last year......example CSC, yes..i STILL hvn't gotten it yet....or quitting raves....yes, i STILL go sometimes tho i cut back ALOT already...u get the picture....
- what has happened to me last 8 months?...well now i'm a supervisor...i can boss ppl around and NOW THEY HAVE TO LISTEN COZ I GOT THE TITLE!!!haha.....i moved out for a bit...living with my frd...that was very fun....can smoke whenever, go out whenever..but i find that i stay @ home more when i was living w/ my frd....i guess i just didn't wanna stay home coz my mom was there gwah..i dunno.....hm..what else happened? well..i got rejected...but what's his face called me back....dunno what he's thinking....oh..went to hk 4 2 wks...which was fun...shopping and relaxing....didn't buy that much......little quarrels between me and friends......
- today, my lil bro asked me when am i gonna be his friend till? meaning how long did I think our friendship will last.....at that moment...i wanted to say i hope it lasts forever but in the back of my mind, i have doubts. Since growing up, I've been close with MANY groups of friends....and each time somethin' happens or they just started give me the cold shoulders. So I have doubts now if any of my friends today will be friends tomorrow. That is why I don't let anyone come close to me or knows how i feel.....Like i have some good friends, but I think of what had happened in the past, I still keep a fair distance between me and the other person now compared to before. I had a frd asked me how being this way seems so "sun foo"....but u know what....i rather be "sun foo" like this then have my feelings hurt when friends betray me or don't talk to me all of a sudden. I know is kinda not fair to those I meet now or in the future....but I can't help it....
