Disclaimer. Fushigi Yuugi is the copywrite Watase Yuu, Bandai, Flower Comics, Tokyo Television, Pioneer, and others. No infringement was intended in the writing of this fanfic.

"Who would do a thing like this," she whispered.

A flute! I heard a flute playing a familiar tune. Miaka and I turned towards the sound. On the wall stood a figure playing a flute. Amiboshi?? How could that be? He had drowned! The figure on the wall stopped playing. He told us it was he who killed Tamahome's family. In revenge for the murder of his brother.

"Miaka, get behind me," I said, shielding Miaka, from this boy. "That's not Amiboshi."

He told us his name was Suboshi and that we killed his older twin brother, Amiboshi. I told him he was mistaken and that his brother's death was an accident. We didn't kill Amiboshi, but he wouldn't listen.

He had a weapon in his hands that looked like a rope with a ball attached to each end. He set one of these balls spinning. "I'll kill you!!" He flung the spinning ball at us. I grabbed Miaka and leapt out of the way as the ball struck the ground where we had been. It ricocheted and struck a tree, carving a large chunk out of it. I held Miaka as the tree crashed down on the house, sending dust everywhere.

Tamahome came out of the house, his character glowing brightly. Suboshi attacked him with his weapon that he called, "Ryuseisui". Miaka and I watched as the spinning balls hit Tamahome, cutting his clothes, skin, and eventually, his ponytail.

"Your power," Tamahome said, "is that it?"

His character glowed even brighter and his hair stood on end, as a red aura surrounded him. Suboshi sent a spinning ball at Tamahome, who caught it with his hand. He counter-attacked, easily beating Suboshi. I understood now. This power was the gift that Taiitsu-kun gave him. But it was too strong. He couldn't control it.

Just as Tamahome was about to give Suboshi a fatal blow, a ball of lightning enveloped the area. Miaka and I clung to each other as it swept past us. When the dust cleared, we saw a figure up on the wall, holding a limp Suboshi. A woman by the sound of her voice. Another Seiryuu Seishi named Soi.

"Tamahome, it looks like you upped your powers. Just because your family was killed?"

Enraged, Tamahome charged her. I ran after him and grabbed him from behind, using my strength to hold him back. The two Seiryuu Seishi vanished. Tamahome struggled against me, trying to chase after them. I told him he would desroy himself. I begged him to calm down, as he struggled, even hitting me in an attempt to get away. I called him by his name, So Kichiku, telling him he was a Suzaku Seishi! "Suzaku no Miko!" He calmed a little. "You were chosen to protect Miaka as a Seishi!"

The pain and sorrow within me from all that had happened, only now began to surface. Through my tears and sobs, I told him that he was making Miaka feel it was her fault. "Miaka." He stopped struggling, and said gently, "Nuriko. I understand."

He took my hands from around his waist and walked off towards the house. I dropped to the ground, sobbing. From within the house I heard Tamahome crying also. I sobbed for the innocent people cruelly slaughtered. For Miaka, who was fond of them all and blamed herself for their deaths. For Tamahome, whose pain I understood all too well. And for Kourin, the dearly loved sister I lost many years ago. Images from my childhood filled my mind. Shattered memories of Kourin and I.
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Images of the past

Ryuuen and Kourin walking through the streets.
"Ryuuen! Kourin! Dinner's ready!"
"Come on, Kourin! I'll race you home!"
The children running home, laughing. Ryuuen letting Kourin win. A joyful Kourin hugging Ryuuen, both laughting.
"I won, Onii-sama!"

Ryuuen carrying a sleeping Kourin to bed and tucking her in.

Ryuuen comforting a crying Kourin, who had scraped her knee.
"Itai, Onii-sama! Itai!"
"There, there, Kourin. The pain will go away."

Ryuuen giving Kourin a piggyback ride. More laughing
"Hang on tight, Kourin."
"Wheeee! Faster, Onni-sama, faster!"

Ryuuen holding a kite as Kourin paints flowers on it with her finger. More laughing.

A thunderstorm.
A frightened Kourin crawling into Ryuuen's bed and cuddling up next to him.
"I'm scared, Onni-sama."
Ryuuen putting a protective arm around Kourin.
"Don't worry, Kourin. I won't let that thunderstrom hurt you."
Ryuuen and Kourin falling asleep in each other's arms.

Ryuuen and Kourin walking, hand in hand, through a meadow. Kourin picking flowers and putting them in her hair. Kourin putting one in Ryuuen's hair. Ryuuen laughing and hugging Kourin, who is also laughing.

Ryuuen and Kourin hugging.
"We'll be together forever, won't we, Onni-sama?"
"Hai, Kourin, together forever."
"Wo ai ni, Onni-sama!"
"Wo ai ni, Kourin!"

Ryuuen and Kourin running through the city streets.
"Wait up, onni-sama!"
Ryuuen turning to see Kourin getting strunk down by a horse-drawn cart.
"Kourin?" Ryuuen crying over the still body of Kourin. "KOURIN!"

************************************************************
My sobbing finally subsided, but tears still ran down my face and landed on the ground between my hands. I understood very well what Tama-chan was going through. Probably more than anyone else. But for Tama-chan is was worse, much worse. I lost my sister, and only my sister, due to an accident. Tama-chan lost his entire family to a murderer.

Still dazed, I sat up and looked around. I saw Tamahome come out of the house carrying Chuei in his arms. Tears ran down his face as he looked at the lifeless body of his brother. Shakingly, I got to my feet. Tamahome looked at me. The pain in his face was too much to bear. Without a word he walked away. "Tama," I said over the lump in my throat. He stopped but didn't turn around. I swallowed hard, and asked weakly, "do...do you want me to...help?"

"Look after Miaka," he said with a toneless voice.

"Tama," I whispered.

"Look after Miaka," he repeated with the same flatness. He continued walking.

I wrapped my arms around my chest. I felt so cold, empty and alone. I wanted to cry, but I didn't have any tears left. I wanted the comfort of someone's arms around me, but knew that wouldn't be. I wanted to run, but my legs wouldn't move. I felt so alone, so very alone. I hadn't felt this way since Kourin died. And even then there wasn't much comfort. Everyone just wanted to forget about her, and they wouldn't forget if they had to confort me through my grief.

Tama-chan's words suddenly came back to me. Look after Miaka. My head snapped up. Miaka! I had forgotten about her! I looked around and saw her in a crumpled heap by the tree where I had left her. "Miaka!" My grief and pain put aside, I ran to her. Kneeling down beside her, I picked her up. She was very pale, but her breathing was strong and steady. The poor child had passed out from the strain of it all. She needed a damp cloth on her head and some rest.

I gently laid her on the ground. I knew there were some drying rags in the kitchen. I walked to the door and stopped just outside of it. Just from looking in, I could see that Tamahome's father was gone. I took a couple of breaths and went in. Screwing up my courage, I looked around. Yuiren was still lying were Tama-chan had left her. The other two were in the next room. Tears, that I thought I no longer had, stung my eyes and I quickly turned away and rushed into the kitchen.

I found some drying rags and grabbed one. I hurried to the door, not daring to raise my eyes from the floor. A shadow fell over me. I jerked to a stop and looked up. In the doorway stood Tama-chan. "Tama," I choked. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was, how much I understood his pain, but I knew if I said anything, I'd break down and start crying again.

Tama-chan turned slightly in the door so as to walk past me. As he came up next to me, he put his hand on my shoulder. I looked over at him, but he was looking at the ground. "Nuriko," he said, softly, "I'd like to thank you for being here. I don't know why you followed Miaka and me, but I'm glad you did. Your being here is a great help." He lifted his head and looked at me. In the depths of sadness in his eyes, I saw a look of graditude. Not knowing what to say, I gave a sad smile and slight nod.

Back outside, I went to the water bucket which was sitting on a bench near the door. I set the rag down on the bench and bent over the bucket, scooping water out with my hands and splashing it on my face. Resting my hands on the edge of the bucket, I took some more deep breaths. I looked up to see Tamahome walk out of the door. He didn't look at me, but stared down at the child he carried in his arms. Tears still streamed down his cheeks.

I watched him walk slowly past. To prevent myself from being lost in my thoughts again, I grabbed the rag and plunged it into the bucket. Wringing is out, I walked over to Miaka. I knelt down beside her, folded the rag and placed it on her forehead. While I tended to Miaka, I saw Tamahome go back and forth taking his family one by one to be buried. The last one he retrieved was the youngest, Yuiren. It was a few minutes after he walked off that Miaka finally came to. The first thing she asked was where Tamahome was.

I told her he was burying his family. I thought she would run off after him, but she didn't. Instead she sat against the tree with her arms wrapped around her knees. I made a comment that none of the neighbors were even around. Miaka said that they were no doubt scared off, not knowing what was happening. Hiding themselves in fear that they would be attacked also. After a while, Miaka decided to go and see if Tamahome was okay.

After she left, I started getting everything ready for the night's stay. I began thinking, since there really wasn't much else to do while I worked. Tama-chan had mentioned not knowing why I came. In truth I didn't know either. Why had I followed them to the market? I didn't like being left out, for one thing. They were the only real friends I had. We'd been together for quite a while now. The thought of them leaving me behind annoyed me. But was that the only reason? Why was I also annoyed at the thought of them being alone together? I shook my head.

"What's wrong with you, Nuriko? You sound as if you're jealous."

I laughed. Jealous. That was ridiculous! Why would I be jealous that Miaka was with Tama-chan? I didn't want Tama-chan, I wanted Hotohori-sama. But why didn't that seem right? This was confusing. Before, everything had been clear for me, but now it was as if I was trying to find my way through a thick fog. Nothing seemed to make sense.

"You're just overwrought," I told myself. "This day has put a strain on you. Tomarrow, you'll be yourself again."

As I was getting a bed roll, I heard the sound of running. I turned to see Miaka running towards me. I tossed the roll aside as Miaka ran into my arms. She was sobbing uncontrolably. As I held her, I noticed how warm she felt. The warm feeling spread throughout my body. It felt so nice. It would have been simply wonderful, if for the fact that Miaka was crying.

"It's all my fault, Nuriko! They died because of me!"

"Shhhhhh, Miaka," I said trying to comfort her. "It's not you're fault. It was some child's sick idea of revenge. You had nothing to do with it."

"If I had saved Amiboshi, then Suboshi would never have done this."

"Didn't you tell me you tried to save him. Amiboshi ended his own life by letting go of the flute. You did your best."

"I should never had gotten Tamahome involved in this in the first place!"

"Miaka. It's his destiny. As it is the destiny for all of us. We are Seishi. You couldn't stop him from being what he is."

Her sobbing settled down to a soft cry. I continued to hold her as she clung to my chest. I gently stroked her hair, noting how soft it felt. I thought of the times I held Kourin when she cried. I had always thought of Miaka as a sister, but this seemed different than it did with Kourin. I could actually feel my heart beating in time with Miaka's and I had the strange desire to hold her like this forever. What was wrong with me?

Later, as we lay in our bed rolls, we decided that we should leave in the morning. We were leaving for Hokken the next day, and it was doubtful if Tama-chan was coming with us. Miaka fell asleep first. I watched her as she slept. In her sleep, the pain and anguish from the day disappeared. She looked so pretty. I shook my head. "What has gotten into you, Nuriko," I whispered to myself. I rolled over and went to sleep.

The next morning we were woken by Tama-chan. He was actually smiling. He told us to hurry, since we were leaving for Hokken. I said nothing but watched him as we got ready to leave for the palace. Although he showed no signs of it, I knew the turmoil he was going through. The pain was going to last him the rest of his life. This I knew.