Disclaimer. Fushigi Yuugi is copywrite of Watase Yuu, Bandai, Tokyo Television, Pioneer, Viz Comics, and others. No infringement was intended in the writing of this fanfic.

Things were only escalating between Kutou and Konan. It was the worst along the borders. There were even rumors of attacks on some of the villages, though we weren't really sure if they were true or not. But the fear of an outright attack on Konan was about the only thing that was talked about. And that always led to speculation of whether or not Suzaku no Miko would return. But, no one talked above a whisper for fear that the Emperor would overhear and rebuke them for their lack of faith. He, Tama-chan, and I were the only ones who still held onto the hope that she would return.

One day, I leaned on the railing by my chambers, looking out over the court. I had spent much of the day watching the people walking around, each trying to pretend that what was going on had no affect on them. I heard approaching footsteps along the corridor. Turning my head, I saw Tama-chan coming towards me. For the first time in nearly three months he didn't look completely out of it. He sat down on the railing near me and looked down into the court.

"Nuriko", he said after a few moments, "I'm leaving."

"Nani? Leaving? Where? Why?"

"I've had an offer for money in a village not too far from here. They want someone to protect them at night, things being way things are." He looked at me. "I haven't been as out of it as you might have thought. I have been negecting in my duty to get money. And I have no reason for being here, so I'm leaving."

"No reason?? You're a seishi! You should stay here for when Miaka returns."

"If she returns," he said quietly.

"What do you mean 'if'", I exclaimed. "She will return! She promised! She'll come back and gather the rest of the seishi and summon Suzaku!"

Tama-chan grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me hard. "Don't you get it?? It's been three months! She's not coming back! She's never coming back!" He let go and turned away. His hands were clenched by his side. In a choked voice, he added, "why should she come back? She's home now. She's probably forgotten all about us."

"But she promised," I insisted, disheartedly.

"Well, promises were meant to be broken. And I can't wait forever. I have obligations."

"But, Tama-chan." He held up a hand to quiet me and told me what village he could be found at. He started to walk away, but stopped after a few steps. He turned his head back to me.

"Nuriko. I'd like to thank you for staying around me these past three months. I know I wasn't myself, but I was aware enough to know that you were there. I appreciate your concern. Sayonara."

Tears stung my eyes as I watched him walk away. I couldn't just let him leave. Hotohori-sama! He would stop Tama-chan from leaving! I had to find him. I ran through the corridors towards the meeting room. That's where Hotohori-sama spent much of his time nowadays.

As I rounded one corner I saw him down the corridor with his advisors coming towards me. "Hotohori-sama!" I saw the look of shock and disdain on his face at my not using the proper title, but the expression softened as he looked at my face.

"Nuriko, what's the problem?" I could hear the concern in his voice.

I brought my cloth-draped hands to my face and looked at him, teary-eyed. "Tama-chan's leaving."

"Leaving? Did he say why or where he was going?"

I told him everything that had happened and what Tama-chan had said. Even the part about him saying that Miaka wasn't coming back. He listened to it all with a still face, only a brief look of sadness with the mention of Miaka. I dropped to my knees. "Please, sire! I beg of you! Order him to stay! He can't go against your order."

He reached down and grasped my arm, gently raising me to my feet. "Nuriko," he said softly, "orders can't change people's minds. Miaka told me that once. In fact it was when you were giving her a hard time and I said that I would talk to you. And she said, 'orders can't change people's minds'."

She did? I felt awful. I was so hard on her because of my jealousy. And despite what I'd done, she never really hated me for it. I wished I could have taken all that back, but it was far too late. Just as it was too late to prevent Tama-chan from leaving. Tears threatened to fall. Without another word, I turned and ran.

"N-nuriko," Hotohori-sama called.

I kept running till I got to my chambers. I threw myself onto the bed and cried. I felt so alone. Looking after Tama-chan was the only thing that kept me going. And now with him gone, there was nothing left. No one to turn to. No one at all. I felt so empty and so utterly alone.

A week had passed since Tama-chan had left, but I didn't even noticed. I didn't notice much of anything. Everyday was spent walking around the court and surrounding area, not really seeing anything. One morning, I had just finshed putting my hair up when I heard the sound of running. I turned my head towards my door to see a flash of brown go by. Could...could it be??

I hurried to the door and looked out. I saw a girl dressed in brown. Her hair done up into two buns on either side of her head. "Miaka?" She turned to me and her face broke out into a hugh smile. An indescribable joy filled me. It was as if the sun had suddenly come out again.