The Worst Enemy
Guilt and Blame


 

Allura stumbled after Lance as best she could, tripping over rocks and her skirt, her heart beating rapidly in abject fear.  But not with fear for herself – it was fear for Keith whom they had left behind, injured against a tree trunk. A friend lying in pain because he had saved her life.

If anything happens to him…

Blood roared in her ears and a stitch burned in her side, but she kept on, knowing that if they didn’t make it to the clearing to call for help, none of the others would make it as well. Finally, they burst into the sunlight, and before her she saw the sloping green valley – and the Castle of Lions in the far horizon.

“Princess!” a woman’s heavily accented voice called out, and someone ran forward to catch her in her arms.

Nanny? Allura allowed herself to be supported, breathing heavily with exhaustion.

Nanny gently led her to one of the hovercrafts and bid her to sit down. “Here, Your Highness, let me see if you have any wounds,” she said, slowly examining the Princess hands and her face. “Your habit – it’s ruined!” she exclaimed. “Ach, child, why did you have to be so stubborn about going today?”

Lance had been seated beside her, a medic examining his scratches and applying antiseptic to them. “There’s trouble,” he told the medic, pulling away after the last cut had been treated. “Radio Dr. Gorma back at the Castle. Captain Keith was shot by a laser on the back, and he’ll need serious care as soon as we get back to Castle.”

“He was shot in the back, and you left him in there?” the medic asked incredulously.

At the question, the Princess flinched.

Lance exploded at the medic. “On his orders, dammit!” he shouted, feeling a twinge of guilt of his own. “He wanted me to bring the Princess to safety first and foremost, and he refused to be carried along because he would slow us down.”

The medic warded him off with his hands. “Okay, okay – I’ll radio Dr. Gorma,” he said in a placating voice, walking towards the communications unit on another hovercraft.

Allura‘s tear-filled blue eyes met Lance’s in an unspoken question. He shook his head reassuringly, telling her without words that they had done the right thing. But deep within him, he didn’t know how right it had been anymore.
 
 

 
 

“What do you mean you didn’t bring him out?” Lance raged at the men, Hunk at the head of the group. “What do you mean you didn’t bring him out?”

“We didn’t bring him out because he wasn’t there,” Hunk protested. “There was no one left when we pulled out of the site, Lance, not a single soul. We took out all the robots, and there’s nothing there but scrap metal on the ground.”

“He told me to bring out Allura, to leave him there,” Lance ground out. “Didn’t they tell you he was injured, Hunk, shot at the back? He couldn’t go anywhere on his own. He had to be there. Dammit, he had to!”

“And I’m telling you again, he wasn’t there, Lance,” Hunk argued, his budding worry also intensifying his temper. “The lieutenant thought you had brought him out with the Princess.” Hunk glared at Lance, eyes smoldering. “Why the hell didn’t you take him with you? Why did you leave him?”
 
Allura, who had dozed off against Nanny in the hovercraft, was shaken awake by Lance’s anguished cry. She shot up from where she lay against her governess in time to see Lance struggling against the grip of three soldiers as he kicked and fought to charge Hunk in blind anger. Hunk had already raised his fists, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed.

“Stop!” she ordered, her voice ringing through the clearing, above the shouting voices of the man. She leaped from the hovercraft onto the ground and quickly strode between her two teammates, looking from one to the other.

“What are the two of you doing? Do you have any idea how much time you’re wasting? This isn’t time for brawling between friends! Many of these people need medical treatment they can only get up at the Castle now, especially Keith!” she shouted at both of them, pausing when she saw the tormented expression in Lance’s eyes.

A cold feeling of dread clutched at her heart. She turned to Hunk. “Keith is all right, isn’t he?” she asked hesitantly. “Where are the medics treating him? I want to see him.“

Hunk slowly dropped his fists as he met Allura’s eyes then shook his head.

Lance stopped struggling against the men holding him and answered for Hunk. “He’s gone, Princess,” he rasped harshly. “He wasn’t where we left him. They couldn’t find him anywhere in the vicinity of the battle site.”

Allura stared at him then back at Hunk, who had hung his head and had his fist clenched at his sides. She shook her head, refusing to accept it. “No… no,” she said slowly, backing away from both of them. “He can’t be – he’s still there… I’ll go back for him myself.”

“There’s nobody there, Princess,” Hunk said sadly, meeting her eyes. “We combed the place before we pulled out. There’s no one left –“

“You’re lying,” she spat in sudden fury, startling the men around her. She was trembling and her brilliant blue eyes had turned wild. “Keith can’t be gone, he can’t just disappear. You have to go back for him.”

The lieutenant fidgeted uncomfortably. “With all due respect, Your Highness, some of the men are in need of medical attention – and the backup team was given instructions by Coran to bid the entire company return to Castle of Lions as soon as we were found,” he ventured cautiously, unable to gauge the Princess’ mood. “A search party can be sent back to this area later with a different set of men, not the battle-weary soldiers we have here.”
 
“Keith took a laser beam to save my life at risk of his – and he has done the same for Arus too many times to count,” she stated bluntly, taking deep heaving breaths to get a grip on her emotions. “I left him once today – and, even if it was on his orders, it was a mistake. It isn’t a mistake I plan to make again.”

Allura’s hardened gaze leveled on the lieutenant. “Take the uninjured men and organize a search party,” she ordered him. “Keith’s been shot. We can’t waste the time it will take to travel back to the Castle and organize a search party there. We have to find him before… before…” she trailed off, unable to complete the thought, closing her eyes to hold back sudden tears.

The lieutenant slowly nodded in acknowledgement and saluted to her. He silently began picking out the able men from the group, motioning them away to begin organizing teams for the search. Hunk followed them, determined to be part of the planning.

“Princess, you need your rest – there is nothing more you can do here,” Nanny said softly, coming behind Allura and laying a hand on her shoulder. “Let us go back to the Castle and wait for news about the Captain there.”

Allura turned to her governess and shook her head. “No, Nanny, I’m staying here until they bring him back,” she stated firmly, her jaw set in challenge to anyone who said otherwise. “You and the injured men can take the other hovercraft back to the Castle.”

Nanny wisely backed off, sensing that Allura’s mind was set on the matter. “If that is what you wish, Your Highness,” she said quietly, patting the Princess’ shoulder. “Shall you be staying as well?” Nanny asked Lance, who had not followed the other men on the other side of the clearing.

Lance nodded.

“You’re in charge of her, then,” Nanny ordered, her old arrogant tone of voice almost bringing a smile to Lance’s face.

“I’ll be going back into the woods with them, Nanny,” Lance said. He met Allura’s eyes and saw the same guilt and worry that he felt reflected in them – if not more. “We’ll find him, Princess,” he vowed, his voice hard with reassuring certainty even if his heart was overwhelmed by foreboding.

But Allura’s sad smile and pain-darkened eyes told him he hadn’t reassured her at all.
 


 

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