"Keith told me you were up here, Evans," Lance said as he approached her on the deck, grinning at the way she spun around in surprise, her lips forming a small ‘o’ of shock. "Looks like even the number 5 graduate of our class is no match for my stealth and cunning." He looked her over and it was like seeing her for the first time, his best friend of many years, a tomboy who could outplay, outrun, and, now, outfly him any day.
Looking at her now, no one would think she was one of the most brilliant fighters of their class, the only female to make it to the elite circle of this year’s top 5 graduates at the Academy. Her long chestnut ponytail had been replaced by an upswept coil with wisps of brown framing her delicate face, the unfeminine Academy uniform replaced by a silver silk sheath that matched the color of her silver-gray eyes. She looked small and frail and so very young – all the things Lance thought she had been just four years ago when she first entered the Academy on a laterals program, when he felt compelled to take on the role of her protector despite the fact that they had been with each other only occasionally as children due to the friendship their fathers had shared.
She turned away from him, her silhouette framed by millions of stars, giving him a view of the graceful ivory slope of her back. His jaw clenched in annoyance, feeling a lot like what he felt when he first saw his younger sister in a revealing dress – except that it was a little bit stronger than that. If her date had been anyone but Keith…
"Why are you here, Lance?" she asked, continuing to look at the stars with a wistful expression in her eyes. "Shouldn’t you be downstairs at the dance floor, dancing the night away with your date?" She suddenly bit her lip, looking uncomfortable.
"Who, Lois? – oh, she’s out there dancing with Jeff… number 2 in the class and definitely more popular than the mere number 4 I am. Just like a woman to be so fickle."
The remark earned a frown from her, but she didn’t lash out with a comment about his inherent chauvinism the way she always did. "I’m sure some people here haven’t forgotten to which half of the human race I belong," she said in a clipped tone that lacked none of its customary heat.
He shrugged apologetically and stood beside her by the windows, smiling at her teasingly. "What about you? You ought to be down there – considering you and Keith are the couple of the night, the top male and top female graduates of the year," he teased her.
She smiled a little at that. "Poor guy – I bet he’s bored to death with all those generals and admirals giving him their sales pitch. He’s been hounded by them all night, all convincing him to join their divisions."
Lance whistled softly. "I suppose they’re hovering over him like vultures. After all, having the son of the legendary Zachary Montgomery in their division will jack up the prestige considerably," he said, not needing to mention the fact that Keith was also rapidly building a legend of his own, being the first cadet in 22 years to graduate with the rank of Captain – the other having been Keith’s father himself.
He placed a hand on her shoulder and was puzzled when he sensed her stiffening. He took it away and placed both his hands to the back of this nape, leaning his head into them. "So, what are you planning to do now?" he asked her after a few moments of comfortable silence. "You can choose to be assigned anywhere and they’ll snap you up right away – although I’m pushing you for the Space Exploration Division because that’s where I’m planning to go."
Reluctantly, she glanced at him then back outside, taking a deep breath. " Lance… I’ve decided… I’m not going into the service."
He snapped her around to face him, his brows drawn together in a frown. "What? What exactly do you mean?"
Samantha glared up at him. "I mean that I’m not going into the service. My father knows and he’s allowed me to make this decision for myself." She looked down suddenly, refusing to meet his gaze. "I... I’m tired of this life and I… I miss my family."
He let her shoulders go and raked one of his hands through his hair in agitation. "You just happen to be one of the best pilots in our batch, Evans… how could you think of wasting such a talent rusticating when we need you here?" he exclaimed, tipping her chin up so that she would meet his eyes.
She shook off his hand and looked back down again, biting her lip. "You don’t… you just don’t understand, Lance. It’s not that simple."
"Hey – I thought we were supposed to be in this together!" he asked, placing his hands back on her shoulders and shaking her a little. "We promised to be assigned to the same division so we could continue flying together, the way we’ve always done." He took hold of her chin again and forced her to look at him, looking into eyes that had turned the gray of winter storm clouds. "Do you have any idea how much… how I… I’m going to miss you, don’t you know that?"
At the words, a strange light flared in her eyes, and Lance thought it may have been hope. His heart suddenly beat just a little bit faster, realizing for the first time just how beautiful she was and all he had to do was tip his head down and he would be – damn, this wasn’t right, she was his best friend… almost his sister…this was Sam Evans, for goodness’ sake. He had no business feeling this way about her, no business at all. It would just complicate his life considerably. Cramp on his style. Women like Sam were for guys like… he cut the thought off, finding that the thought almost made him physically ill.
Confused, he said the first thing that entered his mind. "It just wouldn’t be the same without my best buddy by my side," he finally said in a thick voice, breaking the tense silence, feeling his world tilt off its axis for a moment and wanting to bring it back to normal.
The light in her eyes suddenly died and she slowly closed them, but not before Lance thought he saw the sign of tears glistening in them. "Lance, I… I…" she took a deep shuddering breath, raised her palm to touch his cheek gently, and continued.
"Lance, I just can’t. I’m sorry if… if that disappoints you. But… I just… can’t." She reluctantly took her hand away from his face and shook off his hands from her shoulders, now not hiding the fact that there were tears running down her cheeks. Lance looked at her in utter confusion as she turned away from him and fled towards the door. He was so stunned by what he was feeling that he didn’t even think of following her.
"Where are you going, Samantha? How can you just walk away from our friendship like this?" he called out, the anger and the pain in his voice barely hidden, and he hated himself for it. He sounded just like an eight year old boy watching as his mother remorselessly walked out the door without looking back…
By the door, Samantha turned back towards him, her tear-filled eyes holding his – and it felt like he was staring into the eyes of someone he didn’t know at all. She stood there for what seemed like the longest time, looking at him with a sad, longing look in her gray eyes, and all of a sudden he wanted to hold her to make her pain go away.. and maybe it would banish his as well. But he just looked at her, too confused by his feelings to respond to them.
Finally, she broke the stare, closing her eyes for a moment. Then she smiled sadly at him.
"You know, Lance, I would have stayed if you had said…" she broke off and sighed, shaking her head almost imperceptibly. "Goodbye."
She turned away, whispering something he didn’t quite understand. Then she walked out of the door, and he didn’t realize that she had been walking out, not just out of the service but out of his life…
…Until now.
Lance found that he could not sleep no matter how long he tossed and turned in his bed. Finally, with an expression of disgust, he threw the covers off and dressed up in the hopes of finding something to do that might help him fall asleep.
He emerged from his room without any destination in mind, and for a few minutes he just wandered around the Castle corridors. Near the ballroom, however, he began to hear the strains of a piano playing, and he quickly homed in on the source. Reaching the ballroom doors, he found them slightly open, and, peeking inside, he saw Allura’s golden head bent over the keys, a peaceful expression on her beautiful face.
Lance was just about to press the button that would fully open the ballroom doors and allow him to enter when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped in surprise, whirling around and settling himself in a battle-ready position, only to meet Keith’s amused dark eyes.
Lance relaxed and glared at him. "What are you doing prowling around in the dark so late?" he grumbled, noting that Keith was still fully dressed. "Don’t you ever get tired?"
Keith shrugged, moving to lean against the wall. "I could ask you the same question," he shot back with a wise smile. "Does this have anything to do with –"
"It has nothing to do with anything, I just couldn’t sleep, that’s all," Lance said defensively. He raised his hand towards the button again, but Keith’s hand stopped him.
"Don’t, Lance. If you go in there, she’ll probably stop playing," Keith said softly. "And it’s one of the ways that she has for dealing with all the chaos this war has unleashed on her entire world." The sweet music of the piano punctuated his words, and Lance could hear a soft musical voice humming over the sound.
"And you also don’t want her to know that you’re here." Lance put his hand down and whistled under his breath. "Well, well, Skipper, I never thought I’d see the day," he said with a slight grin. "Does she do this every night?"
Keith regarded Lance with a warning expression on his face, an expression that Lance had learned over the years not to ignore. Wisely, he dropped the subject. "Keith – how about a sparring match? I can’t seem to get any sleep tonight."
"Sure," Keith said, after casting one last glance at the princess playing the piano inside the ballroom. They silently made their way to the practice hall, each kept company by their thoughts. Suddenly, Lance remembered something Keith had said earlier in the evening.
"Keith, what exactly did you mean when you said that I would’ve moved everything if I really wanted to find Sam?"
Keith stopped walking and regarded his friend of over ten years with wise eyes. "Just what I said," he said wryly. "Lance, we’ve been friends for ten years, and I’ve never seen anyone as single-minded as you when you really want something done. I’ve also never seen you allow any woman, other than your grandmother and your sisters, so deeply into your life the way you let Samantha in."
Lance snorted. "That’s bull, and you know it. She was my best friend, for goodness’ sake. Of course I had to let her in," he argue, raking a hand through his hair in agitation.
Keith laughed at Lance’s disgruntled expression. "Lance, you had five girlfriends you said you were madly in love with – two of them you were seeing at the same time – but the minute they started being jealous of Sam, you dropped them like hot potatoes," he reminded him.
Lance threw up his hands in exasperation. "And what is it that you think is normal, your relationship with the Princess?" he lashed out. Keith raised an eyebrow at that but said nothing. "Of course Samantha was more important than them. She was… she fit." Lance said the last word on a note of wonder. "She belonged. She was the one I knew would always be there – " He trailed off.
Keith lay a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. "She was more important to you than any of them ever were all together," he said with a sad smile. "And then she left. I remember how you were then Lance – you were a lot worse than a wounded bear for months. Sven and I were already planning to murder you to put you out of your misery when you finally snapped out of it."
Lance gave a rueful laugh. "I’m sure you meant
to put yourselves out of your misery," he said dryly, leaning against the
wall with a grimace. Keith chuckled softly.
"You’re right, you were making us as miserable
as you were," Keith said, still chuckling. Then he sobered. "If you missed
her so much… well, that’s for you to think about. I think realizing
how strongly you felt for Sam had you running scared back then."
Lance’s stance lost all traces of relaxation and he scowled at that. "Is that so?" he growled out, pushing himself from the wall. "Keith, you’ve missed your calling – you should have been a shrink. If you know me so well then, Captain – what was it exactly that I was scared of?"
"That’s something you have to deal with on your own, buddy." Keith shrugged as he continued to regard Lance steadily. "Maybe it’s your turn to take a good look at yourself, Lance," he said quietly. "And here’s food for thought, okay – you may have gotten a rough end of the deal from the one woman in you life, but it’s about time you realized one thing."
"Oh? And what’s that?"
"Not all women are like your mother."