Okay...here's:
(standard disclaimers apply)
This
fic is dedicated to Denise, our Resident Keeper of the Penguin Suit ^_^
The Complete Guidelines on How
To Operate The Ultimate
Penguin Catcher
1) Always keep this UPC away
from foxes, youkos, and people named Kurama.
Kurama:
HEY!! What's THAT supposed to MEAN?!
Theresa:
I didn't say anything. You did.
2) Always keep the UPC dry,
for water damages mechanism....
(hey...you want to catch
penguins or not?!)
Kurama:
*walks in with the hose*
UPC
Maintainer: *whacks Kurama*
Boy:
Look at that pretty star!
3) Clean the UPC DAILY! (dirt
means more work.)
Denise:
*screeeeeeeeeeeekkkk
screeeeeeeekkkkkkk*
4) Step 1. FLick on
the red switch.
Denise:
*sweatdrops as she sees THREE red switches*
Theresa:
erk....misprint! Flick on the red switch with the smiley-face sticker!
Denise:
........ *sweatdrops again*
Theresa:
Oops...wrong button. The one with the smiling penguin sticker!
Denise:
YATTA! It's working! It's working!
UPC:
Theresa:
And in ....5 seconds, Hiei-maru will be plopped down our doorstep.
Denise:
*frantically wades through the pile of Penguins*
Denise:
WHERE'S MY HIEI-MARU!
Kurama:
*from a distance* OHOHOHOHO!
TML:
HEY!
HnFC:
HEY!
UPC:
*extends arms again, grabs Hiei-maru from Kurama's arms*
TML:
YATTA! *raise fists*
Hiei-maru:
*grumbles*
5) Step 2. Press the
green switch.
Hiei-maru:
*flits away AGAIN*
Denise:
Demo...... (stares at 6 green switches)
Theresa:
*sweatdrops* Gotta do something about these same colors....
Denise:
......
UPC:
6) Step 3. Press the
black button.
Denise:
Oooohhh...the one with Hiei-chan's picture! And right next to it
is Batz-maru!
Theresa:
.....uh..hai. Press the Hiei one, I think.
Denise:
UPC:
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!
Theresa:
Uh-oh....malfunction! Malfunction! BAIL!
Denise:
ACK! My UPC!
KA-BOOOOoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
Kurama:
.........there goes the bomb! MWAHAHAHAHA! THat teaches you
to keep the UPC away from me!
Karasu:
Hey, you owe me 10000000000000000000 Yen for that bomb you used.
Window
Man: And you owe me 50000000000000000 Yen for that window you just
broke.
Theresa:
And you owe me 100000000000000000000000000000 Yen for the UPC!
Denise:
And 6000000000000000000000000 Yen for my Hiei and Batz-maru stickers!
Kurama:
................. *sweatrains*
UPC:
And you owe me 70000000000000000 Yen for pain and suffering.
Minna:
YAAGGGGGG!!! IT TALKS! IT TALKS!
*runs away screaming*
Hiei:
Hn. Stupid Ningens.
©1998
Theresa-chan
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