A bright sunny day at Headingly (boy, this English weather god couldn’t make up his mind if you gave him a full makeup kit to do it with). Australia, former favourites, squared off against Pakistan. Aussie skipper Steve Waugh won the toss and put Pakistan in to bat.

The Pakis are not particularly known for their techniques. Today, however, they embarrassed even themselves. Saeed Anwar played well, was caught behind down the legside flicking too fine (greedy s.o.b. wanted 4 not 1). Wasti…what a waste! Bat three and a half miles away from his body and ball in Waugh’s hands. Ijaz walked before being given lbw (a Paki so honest? He must have had fever). Inzamam this time brought his eyes to the pitch with him at 46/3. Aloo batted well for his 81. However, running between the wickets with him is akin to a three-hour debate. "Yes!" "No!" "Yes yes no yes!" "Maybe!" "Maybe next ball!" "Aisee bhi kya jaldi hai bhai?" After running out Youhana (kya karen, control nahin hota), he ran himself out. A Fleming yorker hit his toes, rebounded into his balls and down went Inzy. Referee starts count "One, Two…" By then nonstriker is past Inzy, who is sprawled al over the pitch.

Moin Khan took a particular dislike to the cricket ball but a liking to the bowling. Problem was, everytime he hit the ball away from him, they threw it back! Poor guy, what could he do but hit it again? The last 10 overs produced 108 runs. Aus had a disappointing 276 to make.

Gilchrist must be really frustrated. Either he thinks he is too good or he can’t see. He was bowled by Akram for 0. Waugh Jr. and Ponting batted well (no they weren’t paid to do so) and Mark fell at 91. In came Lehmann, out went Lehmann. In came Sr. Waugh, batted well. Ponting had already fallen, and had gotten out as well. Finally Bevan decided to increase his avg (greedy s.o.b., like Anwar) and put on 140 with his captain. Waugh and Akhtar were busy abusing each other verbally and physically. Akhtar lost the verbal battle but won the cricket one. By the time Waugh could get the bat down to block the ball, the bails were nearly at the boundary. He made 49. Boo hoo.

Martyn was trying, but this was a case of spirit willing, but talent lacking. He was finally yorked by Akram. McGrath came out to realise his ambition of scoring the winning runs in a big match. He scored a blob. Yorked off a full toss from Akram. Night blindness seemed to have struck the Aussies. The number of em who were bowled…sheesh!

Man of the match was Aloo for his 81. Aloo has become his pet name even for his skipper Akram. How he manages to score even a simple single without getting run out is a miracle.