Adam & Lillith have a run in online.

<BigAdam> You know, in hind sight that sounds really bad.

<BigAdam> A bunch of naked people partying in a cave.

<BigAdam> How about a toga, can I wear a toga?

<1stLady> ...Mmm..okay. Togas are acceptable.

<BigAdam> that's good, because there are some people who should not be seen naked.

<1stLady> Like most men.

<BigAdam> and me

<BigAdam> when god created sex appeal, he probably put the most effort into Lillith, and when he realized that he need to create me too, he was like, "to hell with it. We'll give him peg B to go into slot A and be done with it."

<1stLady> Jeez. That's terrible.

<BigAdam> that was supposed to say men, not me

<1stLady> That's really funny, though. That's definately a "random quote keeper."

<BigAdam> big freudian typo there.

<BigAdam> Damn you know my secret. I'm Adam.

<BigAdam> Pretty svelte looking considering that I'm pushing, oh what would it be, about six thousand years or so?

<1stLady> "Svelte" is the most appropriate word, there.

<BigAdam> Looking at it that way, I'm actually pretty darn sexy.

<BigAdam> Hey baby, do you know any other six thousand year old men with teeth like mine?

<BigAdam> *flash winning smile*

<1stLady> Actually...

<BigAdam> I didn't think so.

<1stLady> Well, where'd you GET those teeth, man...?

<BigAdam> Hey, I can prove it. Check it out, I'm short a rib.

<1stLady> *Poke*

<BigAdam> Where do you think?

<1stLady> The master G upstairs?

<BigAdam> god choice.

<1stLady> A ha ha. Punny.

<BigAdam> that was unintentioal.

<1stLady> I'm sure.

<BigAdam> Of course, given my love life so far...

<BigAdam> Lillith bugged out,

<BigAdam> then I got stuck with Eve...

<1stLady> Hey, you WANTED her to be submissive.

<1stLady> Besides, I was always too strong for you.

<BigAdam> ?

<BigAdam> No way. It's you?

<1stLady> Then why did you go crying to God like a ninny?

<BigAdam> Like I always said, it wasn't fair. Daddy gave you all the sex appeal.

<BigAdam> I was misquoted.

<BigAdam> I went begging for a new knife.

<BigAdam> My old one lost its edge.

<BigAdam> God had his headphones on and thought I said wife.

<1stLady> Uh-huh. Well, think of it this way: at least you get to pee standing up (comfortably)

<1stLady> Well, I'm happier with my demon consorts, anyway.

<BigAdam> I wouldn't mind having to sit down to do it, if I could take my shirt off without turning women into pillars of salt.

<1stLady> 'S better than pillars of something else...

<BigAdam> I suppose so.

<BigAdam> Well it wasn't my fault.

<1stLady> And besides, when I take MY shirt off, I turn men into pillars of other things, if you catch my drift.

<BigAdam> Of course I do. You were married to me first remember.

<1stLady> Yep. Then you married that bimbo that got you booted from paradise.

<BigAdam> Well actually, I beleive the shirt removal effect is a little more limited.

<1stLady> It's the principle of the thing

<BigAdam> I might have been happy if she were a bimbo.

<BigAdam> She was a shrew,

<1stLady> A STUPID shrew.

<BigAdam> and she always overuled how I tried to raise the boys, and you know how all of that turned out.

<1stLady> A first wife has to put a hand in SOMEWHERE, don't you know.... *Maniacal laughter*

<BigAdam> Hey, I missed you.

<1stLady> Work on your aim, dear Adam.

<BigAdam> You didn't even leave me a note.

<1stLady> What was I supposed to do when the old geezer said "Get out" and I had a ride waiting?

<BigAdam> Ask him to make sure I meant what I said.

<1stLady> "I'll have to check my records; silly me, you know I'm only God."

<BigAdam> C'mon, how could he think that I really said "I need a new wife?" I couldn't even keep track of my fig leaves.

<BigAdam> He's kind of gone down hill nowadays.

<BigAdam> He's dresses like a guidance counselor.

<BigAdam> and God's got, that smile.

<1stLady> It had to happen sooner or later. Hell, it happened SOONER... You were just too dense to notice.

<BigAdam> Of course. I was busy trying to be fruitful and multiply.

<1stLady> And throwing fits about how I wanted to be the dominant one again.

<BigAdam> (the less said about the Cain fiasco the better.

<BigAdam> That wasn't so bad.

<1stLady> Oh, your dear son Abel... Cry about it.

der was, however.

<BigAdam> Actually, he wasn't your son.

<BigAdam> sorry, distracted.

<1stLady> I KNOW he wasn't. The elder was, however.

<BigAdam> ummm.

<BigAdam> My memory might be a little sketchy

<BigAdam> but I do believe that he was Eve's.

<1stLady> Five-plus thousand years can do that to a person.

<1stLady> Are you saying that I don't recognize the fruit of my own womb?

<BigAdam> Daddy dear still hadn't figured out what the end product of sex should be back when you were still around.

<1stLady> I'm sure you're familiar with the Fey stories of Changelings?

<BigAdam> He made the whole pregnancy thing so that I would be able to get away from HER for six months out of every 12 or so.

<BigAdam> We were the only ones around back then.

<1stLady> Or so that she would be able to escape YOU for that length of time.

<BigAdam> It takes more than three people to get changlings.

<1stLady> May I introduce my favorite consort: Samael

<BigAdam> ?

<BigAdam> Wasn;t he a son of mine?

<BigAdam> Err, wait.

<1stLady> Oh, no. He was around long before.

<BigAdam> Wasn't he Daddies old drinking buddy back before they had that big falling out?

<1stLady> So he was. So he was.

<BigAdam> You slept with him?

<1stLady> See, then there's Evie and you, And Sammie and me. THat's four. Plenty for changelings.

<BigAdam> erg. gives new meaning to the term riding the six headed beast.

<1stLady> Many times, dear Adam...and he's better than e'er you were.

<BigAdam> That hurt.

<1stLady> The truth often does.

<BigAdam> C'mon, we invented it.

<BigAdam> Version 1.0 always has a lot of problems that need to be worked out.

<BigAdam> We never did get that whole simultaneous orgasm thing to work right...

<1stLady> Unfortunately the updating package has yet to arrive.

<1stLady> What's all this "we" dear Adam?

<1stLady> I've figured it out.

<BigAdam> That's not fair.

<BigAdam> I tried to be good.

<1stLady> Life isn't.

<BigAdam> It was all just one misunderstood sentence.

<1stLady> "Good" is different from "Satisfying"

<BigAdam> That wasn't exactly what I meant.

<1stLady> *Chuckle*

<1stLady> Has five thousand years taught you anything?

<BigAdam> of course.

<BigAdam> Live and learn

<BigAdam> and live and live and live...

<1stLady> Well, it evidently wasn't on communication...

<BigAdam> we're talking again, aren't we?

<1stLady> As happens periodically, yes.

<BigAdam> we should get back together sometime.

<1stLady> And what about your precious Eve?

<BigAdam> Finally managed to ditch her back in Mesopotamia a couple millenia ago,

<BigAdam> she invented macramé.

<BigAdam> go figure.

<BigAdam> I don't think she's missed me yet.

<BigAdam> And what are all those cracks about precious?

<1stLady> Ha! THAT most certainly doesn't surprise me. Li'l miss housewife.

<BigAdam> I was the one who got stuck with the poor second.

<1stLady> By your own fault.

<BigAdam> It was not my fault!

<1stLady> I'm sure, should you ask him, God would agree with me.

<BigAdam> How is it my fault?

<BigAdam> I just wanted a new knife?

<1stLady> Ask upstairs.

<BigAdam> The line for appointments is horrendous.

<BigAdam> The whole guidance counselor schtick.

<1stLady> Everyone's up for profit, nowadays.

<BigAdam> *sigh*

<BigAdam> we should get back together some time.

<BigAdam> see if the old magic is still there.

<1stLady> Magic. Bah.

<1stLady> Magic is what you make it.

<BigAdam> It's not like you didn't have the mailing address for the garden.

<BigAdam> You could have at least sent me a letter.

<1stLady> It's not like you make an effort to remedy the "mistake."

<BigAdam> I hired the best PI at the time to track you down. Unfortunately, that was me.

<1stLady> And said What?

<1stLady> "Sorry I was too much for you, best of luck in the future?"

<1stLady> How was I to know?

<BigAdam> Well, I tracked you to the edge of the Garden,

<BigAdam> but well, outside was just a little intimidating.

<1stLady> Had I been worth it to you....

<BigAdam> what can you expect? I depended on you to make sure I remembered my fig leaves.

<1stLady> At that time, dear Adam, you didn't need them. I see your memory is beginning to slip.

<BigAdam> You didn't need them. I had the over developed sense of modesty.

1stLady> So, yes. Modesty. Well, in those moments your forgot it, you were a beautiful creature.

<BigAdam> I tried.

<1stLady> To?

<BigAdam> yeah.

<1stLady> Tried to what?

<BigAdam> If you had just tried to get in touch, we probably could have prevent 5000 years of partriarichal society.

<BigAdam> I always preferred the bottom myself.

<1stLady> *Shrugs* Oh, I don't know...I find it rather amusing to watch men screw up their lives and the lives of others and pretend it's for the greater good.

<1stLady> Since when?

<BigAdam> WHat do you mean since when?

<1stLady> You've preferred bottom since when?

<BigAdam> Well, I think it was back when refused to give up the top.

<1stLady> uh-huh.

<1stLady> Forced into submission...again.

<BigAdam> I think you threatened to hid my figs leaves if I didn't let you.

<1stLady> You and your silly modesty.

<1stLady> *Laughs* Yeah, I probably did.

<1stLady> And I think you liked the arrangements.

<1stLady> Not that you could go pick some new leaves or anything...What with all those fig-trees around...

<BigAdam> You had the top, I had my fig leaves, I was pretty happy.

<BigAdam> You were pretty tricky.

<1stLady> And you were pretty dense.

<BigAdam> You told me it was a turn on.

<1stLady> I probably did that, too.