Gospel 1:0

The silence was absolute, the scenario surreal.

A boy smiled serenely, his body enveloped by the hand of a purple colossus. Its face was concealed beneath layers of metal and what it thought of this event, unknown. Impaled upon a cross, its blood running down to pool on the floor, a white figure presided over the scene, its thoughts hidden behind a seven-eyed mask.

The boy continued to smile, urging the giant to the conclusion that he knew as inevitable, willing the soul within it to glimpse the knowledge that he had already assumed.

The silence continued.

The giant’s hand twitched.

There was a soft splash as the boy’s head fell into the blood, his smile unabated.

The silence returned.

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Asuka’s eyelids jerked open, then slowly lowered and disorientation overwhelmed her as she tried to place herself.

She was in one of NERV’s recovery wards, the gentle beeps and hums of machines filling the background with white noise—and she wasn’t alone.

Turning her head was an effort and her entire body felt weak. It took several moments of struggle to accomplish the simple feat of merely sitting up. She held up one arm, surprised by the smooth unbroken skin of her wrist. The event played itself over and over in her head: her clothes neatly folded and stacked on the chair; the bathtub filled with lukewarm water; the slender shard of glass glinting coldly in the sunlight. The arrival of the Section 2 Agent was a haze; he was a blur, insubstantial next to the bright glass that was begging her to put it to use. When she'd fallen into darkness, she'd thought that it was because the shard's pleading had been answered.

She then remembered the other person in the room and looked at the bed across from her. Shinji lay in the other bed, an oxygen mask covering his face, an IV piercing his arm. She rose but then immediately sat back down. Her muscles felt like they were made of rubber and it took her several tries before she was able to stand and remain on her feet. She staggered over to Shinji's bed, dropping to a seat on the edge of the mattress before her legs dumped her to the floor. A manila folder lay open on the stand next to his bed and curious, she picked it up.

It took her a few minutes before she realized what she was reading: a report on Shinji’s confrontation with the 17^th Angel. There were a number of pictures included and she felt the bile rise in her throat as she saw Kaworu’s autopsy, her Unit 02, Unit 01 as the blood was washed from its armor.

5^th Child.

Her Unit 02.

The last Angel.

With sudden understanding she put the folder back down. The 3^rd Child had emerged from the final battle physically unhurt, but Asuka knew his psychological limits, had probed them herself a number of times. She remembered his rage after the destruction of unit 03. She'd understood what it might cost to stop the Eva/Angel but Shinji had been forced to watch, unable to intervene as Unit 01 tore it apart. To have intentionally killed the last Angel, even though there was nothing else that he could've done….

Asuka leaned over and lifted one of Shinji’s eyelids. She knew the front of her gown was hanging open and almost wished that his eye would roll towards it because then she could yell at him and act angry, but then she'd also know that everything would be all right. The orb barely fluttered, his pupil contracting only slightly from the light. He was completely catatonic. "Shinji, you dummkopf," she said without any real heat, finding it impossible to work up any ire. He looked so helpless, so vulnerable.

Asuka slid herself to the front of his bed, cradling his head in her lap. She surprised herself by the rush of sympathy she felt for him. The last Angel had forced him to face reality and make a choice that he could blame on no one but himself. It had stripped away his hiding places and forced him to accept the consequences of his own actions.

She stroked his head wishing for a moment that he would wake up. She needed someone, anyone to latch on to. Lying in the bathtub she had known that she was alone and she still felt remnants of that all-encompassing isolation now. Commander Ikari’s voice still echoed in her head. She is useless.

Even Shinji is better than nothing, she thought. Even if I have to listen to his cello for eternity it's better than nothing at all.

Asuka heard voices coming down the hall and hurriedly she put the folder back on the stand and got back into her own bed.

"It’s an abomination what they put those children through," a female voice came through the door. "I can’t say I feel sorry for the brat, but the Commander’s son! At least he could visit for more than thirty seconds. They should have been given separate rooms too, but the Commander insisted-!" The nurse’s voice broke off as she came through the door, another nurse following close behind the first. Upon seeing Asuka was awake the first nurse flushed bright red. "Ahh…You’re awake, good. I’ll see that the Commander is informed immediately." The first nurse hurried off as the second checked on Shinji, very carefully not looking at Asuka.

Asuka could hear the nurse's footsteps as she hurried down the hall and as her footsteps faded, Asuka heard a heavier, slower, tread receding in the opposite direction.

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Fuyutsuki hated the walk across the Commander’s office. The distance between the desk and the door was large enough to make crossing the span feel like an effort. It was all part of the power game, another one of the Commander’s psychological one-ups. He stopped before the Commander’s desk, resisting the urge to pant as if he'd run from the door to the desk. "The 2^nd Child is awake," he announced neutrally.

If the news pleased the Commander, his face didn’t alter to show it. "Was the file placed where she would find it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good."

Fuyutsuki’s face twisted with distaste. "Is it really necessary to manipulate them like that?"

Commander Ikari gazed back at him levelly. "It was the pilot’s ego that made her unusable in the first place. If she can be persuaded into forming dependencies with others her mental instabilities should be dampened by their proximity."

"So you’re hoping that she’ll become dependent on your son? Few would think that you're doing him any sort of favor."

"In his case I'm hoping that proximity to her will eliminate some of his more… inconvenient mental frailties."

"Of course. Even if it does sound more like the concerned father is playing matchmaker." Fuyutsuki made the comment in half jest, but the Commander remained silent, as if he'd taken each word with complete earnestness..

"Progress on the Eva being grown from the recovered cells of Unit-03 is slightly ahead of schedule, so it should be completed by the fifteenth. However, as to a pilot-"

Gendo interrupted him. "A suitable candidate has been selected."

"But how? The Marduke report—"

"This Child received his training solely under the German Branch."

"Him? But I thought he was ruled unsuitable—"

"Events are proceeding along lines that neither I nor SEELE expected. I need to keep the old men off balance to ensure that their interference remains as minimal as possible. The scenario that I follow is more malleable than SEELE's. I can afford minor deviations without sacrificing my—Yui’s ultimate goal. SEELE cannot."

"Be careful that you don't push them so far that they fall. Do you think that you, or humanity for that matter, will stand for long if they topple?"

"Are even you beginning to doubt me, Fuyutsuki-sensei?" Gendo asked, stressing the honorific. "I know the precise consequences of what I am attempting. I haven't come so far only to falter now."

"If you say so. However, considering the experiences that the 3^rd Child underwent in relation to the 4^th and 5^th Children, I would recommend a bit more caution before adding another pilot."

"There isn't enough time left for us to delay the project because of the frailties of one of the pilots."

"He is your son."

"Should that make any difference?"

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"Generation is 80 percent complete; beginning final mitotic stage."

Maya Ibuki didn’t bother to look up at the announcement; she didn’t have time. Schematics for the regenerating Evangelion rolled up her screen, reports on its condition, predictions for its outcome; all went flashing across almost faster than she could read. Without pausing she switched programs, bringing up the reports on Unit 00. The information overload became slightly less: the Eva had completed the regenerative process and was being encased within sea blue armor plates. It was amazing that they had been able to regenerate it at all, especially considering how close it cells were to reaching the Hayflick Limit. All that had been recovered from the Eva's previous incarnation were a few scorched cells encased within melted armor plates. Maya doubted that the attempt would have been successful if she'd been the one in charge when the cells underwent modification, causing them to divide and reform the destroyed Eva. But she hadn’t been in charge then; her Sempai had.

Thinking of Ritsuko made Maya shifted uncomfortably. She'd been promoted to the head of the Science section following Ritsuko’s arrest, although disappearance might have been a more fitting word. No formal charges that she knew of had been filed against the other scientist; she'd gone peacefully with the Section 2 Agents and no one had heard from her since. Destroying the dummy system gave the Commander a motive for getting rid of Ritsuko. He no longer had a use for her, so she was simply… disposed of. That thought made Maya very uncomfortable. If a doctor as brilliant as Ritsuko had been simply cast aside, what value did anyone else have? Especially if the rumors are true that she was sleeping with the Commander. If he would get rid of her, whom won’t he abandon?

Her screen shifted again, this time displaying the status of the pilots: Rei was fine, Asuka was recovering and would be returning to Major Katsuragi’s residence that evening. Shinji however was still catatonic. He'd shown no sign of change since they the recovery team pulled him out of the entry plug in Central Dogma.

The thought echoed through her head, refusing to be banished: Whom won’t he abandon?

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Misato Katsuragi found that she had to force herself to turn the key and slid the door to her apartment open. She knew that it was still be there, still waiting for her. It would have been easier to go to a bar and drown the world in a bottle, but she had duties to perform, and they forced her to come here.

Once inside, she halfheartedly began to throw away old ramen cups, gather up all the empty beer cans, tidying up in preparation for Asuka’s return. The apartment possessed of a quiet that made her think of a crouched beast, waiting to spring. Indeed, it held one, in a manner of speaking.

She refused to go near the answering machine, where his message still waited for her. She should've erased it long ago, but the sound of his voice, the meaning of his words…. Every time she listened to Kaji’s final words was like sticking a knife in her gut and twisting, but it was all she had left of him. In its own way the pain was good. It was the pain of memory that kept her going even as she tried to drown it out.

Still, it would be very good to have another person in the apartment again. Pen-Pen was still with the Horakis, so Misato lacked even have the small comfort of his presence.

It was with a sigh that she again looked at her orders. She was to go to Tokyo-2 and return with the 6^th Child; the 6^th child, another child; and instate him in the apartment next to hers. Briefly she considered moving Shinji’s belongings there. Let the boys share an apartment. Bring Rei to her apartment instead of letting the girl remain in that squalid hole. Keep all of her eggs safe in the same basket, where she could watch them all. She discarded the idea quickly. After what she had seen in Central Dogma she didn’t think she would be able to stand extended exposure to the 1st Child, much less how Shinji would react to her if—no, she corrected herself firmly, when he got out of the hospital.

Misato unplugged the answering machine and took it to her room, hiding it within the mess on her desk. She couldn't bear to let anyone else hear his last words to her and when she plugged it back in, she bit her lip in anticipation as she waited for the little red 1 to light up in the window that read 'Messages In Memory.' She sobbed in relief when it appeared, as if she'd half expected it to slip away while she was moving the machine and tears fell from her eyes as she extended a shaking finger and pressed PLAY.

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Terrence St. John pressed his face against the airplane window, watching the land as it slid by far below. The plane had to pass over Tokyo-3 before it reached Tokyo-2 and it was with interest that he watched the work crews far below: immense drainage pipes sucked dry the crater Unit 00 created in its final heroic moments. Gigantic cranes dammed the new inlet to the Pacific, forcing the ocean back. Rebuilding Tokyo-3 was all that the U.N talked about now of days. Let its towers again rise into the sky, show everyone that humanity had been tested by fire and emerged even stronger. The Angels were gone.

That phrase gnawed at him. If the Angels were gone why was he needed, why was any of this needed? He'd been able to hack into some of the German Branch's files, and found enough clues to convince him that construction still continued on the production model Evas, and that there were plans for three new Evas to be built and operated from NERV's third branch in Japan. What enemy could they be sent against now? A single Eva was more than enough against any human force and he shuddered at the thought of using Evangelions against people.

Terrence leaned back in his seat as the plane banked over Tokyo-2; landing was humdrum boring. It was a lot more exciting when you were the one in the cockpit. He had a pilot’s license himself and had often flown his grandfather’s ancient Cessna single prop over the Outback. Looking back out the window, he could see the black gray bulk of thunderheads piling up on the horizon.

As the planed landed, he admitted that the pilot had some skill. The plane itself was an aging dual engine McBoeing, but the pilot set it down with a single barely noticeable jolt.

Terrence was momentarily daunted by the crush of people in the terminal once he got off the plane but it wasn’t hard to find his contact, even with the crowd. Offhand, he couldn't think of many women who as pretty as she was, and an even smaller number who could do so while wearing a NERV uniform.

He walked up to her and bowed in what he hoped was the appropriate manner. "Koneechawa, Major Katsuragi. I am Terrence St. John, 6th Child."

He wondered just how badly he'd messed up his introduction, as without a word, the Major took one of his bags and led him to her car, a blue compact that looked like it had seen better days. Terence threw his luggage in the back seat then climbed into the passenger seat as Misato started the engine and drove out of the airport lot.

He let the silence continue for several minutes as the city slid by around them before deciding that he would have to be the one to break it. "So, Major, I have to say that I’m much forward looking to meeting of my fellow pilots." The sentence didn’t seem to sound quite right, and he was sure that he'd used to many nos but he hoped his grasp of the nuances of Japanese had been good enough that he hadn't been spouting total gibberish. He'd learned English and German from his parents and there were enough similarities between the two languages to ease the process considerably.

He frowned as time passed without her answering. The information that he'd been given about her indicated that she was supposed to be very friendly and possess a very extroverted personality. Except for right now. He was sure that he'd met rocks more cheerful than she was.

"You can call me Misato," she said finally.

"That’s good very much Major, I mean Misato-chan." Wait, that’s very wrong. "I’m sorry, I meant Misato-sempai," he said, trying to remember all the different honorifics. "Misato-san."

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "You don’t need to include the honorific. Misato will do fine for now."

"Thank you, I still haven’t quite gotten those figured out. When do you think I’ll meet the other pilots?"

The small smile vanished from Misato’s face. "You’ve been provided with an apartment adjacent to my own. The 2^nd Child is currently in residence with myself, along with the 3^rd, who will return once his medical condition is deemed suitable for discharge." The Major sounded like she was speaking by rote, as if she'd planned her words ahead of time to be sure that she said everything exactly right. She did however, leave out the person he really wanted to hear about.

"What about the 1^st Child?" Terrence asked eagerly. He was looking forward to meeting the famous 1^st Child, Rei Ayanami. He'd been afraid that he'd lost his chance forever when Unit 00 had self-destructed and he'd been relieved beyond words when it turned out that she had in fact survived.

"She lives elsewhere."

Terrence waited for her to continue but Misato said nothing more. Since she seemed to find the 1^st Child a delicate topic he changed the subject. "When do you think the 3^rd Child will be released?"

What he really wanted to know was what happened with the 17^th Angel. Security had been so tight around the incident that when he tried to hack the files about it, it had taken all of his abilities to hide the fact that he'd even tried to probe the file in the first place, much less access it.

"I don't know," Misato said and something in her face stopped him from pressing further.

They passed underneath the leading thunderclouds and the car rocked as it was struck by the full fury of the wind and rain. Neither of them spoke for the rest of the trip to Tokyo-3, nor after the Major pulled in front of her apartment complex and carried his suitcases onto the elevator.

The door to Misato’s apartment sprang open as walked past, and Terrence dropped his suitcase as Asuka, seated in a wheel chair, rolled onto the walkway.

"Misato, you’re back!" she exclaimed, but when she saw Terrence her jaw dropped. "You?" Surprise and incredulity battled in her voice. "You’re the new Child? Mein Gott in Himmel!"

"Hello Ms. Soryu. I assure you the pleasure is not mine," Terrence said coldly.

"You two know each other?" Misato asked, surprised.

"We knew each other when we were younger," Terrence said coldly, pointedly not looking at the other child.

Asuka flushed angrily and retreated back into the apartment slamming the door behind her. Terrence continued to his apartment dropping his suitcases just inside the door. "Thank you very much for your help Misato, but if you don’t mind I’d like to unpack by myself."

She didn't question his request as she left him standing in the entryway although she did spare him a single, curious glance before closing the door behind her.

As the door shut, Terrence sighed and slid down the wall and forced his fingers to unclench. He'd known who the 2^nd child was and he'd known that he'd have to deal with her in the course of his duties. He'd even known that he'd have to live next to her. He'd promised himself that when they met each other he'd be civil. People changed and neither of them was the same person they used to be. Then they'd met each other on the sidewalk and it was like nothing had changed. Correction, I grew up. She’s still a little brat.

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Misato could hear Asuka swearing angrily in German as she entered the apartment. The wheel chair lay on its side, one wheel spinning lazily. Asuka was on the floor, trying to pull herself to her feet using one of the chairs.

Without warning, the chair tipped over and dumped Asuka back onto the ground. "Verdammt!" she swore, before righting the chair and trying to stand again.

"Let me help, Asuka," Misato said, offering her a hand.

Asuka glared at her. "I’m not helpless," she snapped. "I can do this myself."

Misato bit back the urge to argue and went into the kitchen. She opened a cabinet and took out two cups of prepared ramen then got a beer for herself, filling a glass of water for Asuka. She tried to ignore the near endless stream of thuds and curses as Asuka tried, and failed to stand up.

Asuka had her knees drawn up to her chest and tears of frustration leaking from her eyes when Misato reentered the room, dinner balanced in her hands. She set the food on the table, roughly picked Asuka up and dropped her in the chair.

"I could have done it myself," the girl said petulantly.

"You shouldn’t even be out of the wheelchair." Misato said, sighing. "You’re too weak to be moving around on your own."

"I’m fine," Asuka muttered angrily, avoiding Misato’s eyes.

"Bullshit. When Section 2 finally dragged you in, you hadn’t eaten in a week." As half-assed as security had been to let Asuka go in the first place, they'd noticed the jagged shard of glass next to the bathtub where they found her.

"I just needed to be alone."

Misato let the lie pass. "Well that’s fine but we need you back on your feet and ready to pilot Unit 02 as soon as possible."

"Why? You’ve still got Wonder Girl. Besides, I heard that the 17^th Angel was supposed to be the last. Why do you need me, or my doll?"

Misato's patience snapped. "Your attitude really sucks, Asuka! Rei and the 6^th Child are our only pilots right now. We’ve been down to the wire too often and NERV needs you in your Eva yesterday!"

Asuka sniffed haughtily. "It shows just how much trouble you’re in if you’re recruiting losers like him to pilot Evas. Besides, you know that Shinji the hero," she practically sneered out the boy’s name, "will be there if we really need him."

A tic developed in Misato’s cheek and she flushed angrily. "Now you listen here—"

"I’m finished," Asuka interrupted, pushing her food away from her and trying to stand. She attempted to walk to her room but the best that she could manage was a half stagger, half crawl. She slammed the door shut behind her and Misato could hear Asuka’s body strike the floor as her legs finally gave out.

Misato quietly cleared the table and put Asuka’s wheelchair by her door before retreating to her own room.

The quiet was unbroken for the rest of the night.

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The only sound in the hospital room was the hiss of the respirator as it rose and fell. Asuka’s breath was harsh in her ears as she looked down at Shinji. He'd fallen further into the coma and a bank of machines now stood sentinel around his bed anchoring the life to his frail body.

Her fists clenched and unclenched as she watched him. Hatred boiled up in her mind and the world blanked out as her vision narrowed down to a tunnel that encompassed only his face. All she had to do was yank a plug, silence the machines, and it would be all over. There would be no more humiliation, no more competition. She'd be allowed peace at last. She'd made sure that there weren't any nurses close by when she entered the room. No one would be able to intervene until it was to late.

Her breathing grew harsher and it rasped in her brain, drowning out all else.

One jerk would be all it took.

One swift action to end it.

The world seemed filled with the sound of her breathing.

"Please, stop," she whispered although it was impossible to tell whether she was speaking to the voice in her head or to her hand as it reached for the power cable.

She’s useless.

"No, I’m not."

"Stop."

"Shut up!"

Her voice shrunk to a whimper. "No."

She pressed her hands to her ears. "I don’t want to die!"

"No!" she sobbed. "I don’t want to die! I’m strong!"

It was then that she looked at Shinji.

He was so frail: his skin was ghostly white and stretched tightly across his face. Before she realized what she was doing, Asuka reached out and ran a finger along his cheek then tilted his face towards her. Despite the tubes, despite his pale, gaunt features, she could see on his face an expression of… peace.

He'd finally found it, a place where he was safe from everything. By taking away all of his other hiding places, the last Angel had shone his the safest one of all: the inside of his own mind. Shinji had run away to a place where no one could hurt him but had saved them all even so.

Asuka doubled over, sobs erupting from her throat.

"S-S-Shin-ji i-i-is the hero. I’m…the…I’m," her voice lowered to a whisper, "I’m the zero."

The tears ran hot and fast down her face, gathering at a point on her chin, before falling to splash against Shinji’s face.

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The fading sun bathed the train car in an orange glow. It rocked gently as it moved, the wheels making a regular clack-clack against the tracks.

The sound and the motion were soothing to Shinji. It was peaceful on the train and he sat sprawled over two seats, his head tilted back, eyes shut.

Shinji’s eyes shot open at the sound of the voice. A child was sitting opposite of him, a child he recognized, a child he'd been.

The child might have been him, but the words were his father’s.

The child looked up at him. "Why are you here?"

Shinji paused before answering, confused by the question. "I’m here because…it’s pleasant here?"

"Why?"

"Because… it’s quiet here."

"Are you running away?"

"NO!" Shinji shouted, "I’m not running away. I’m not running! I’m, I’m, I-I’m…" he trailed off, unable to answer.

"You are afraid."

"No! I’m not!"

"What are you afraid of?"

"I’m not afraid of anything!"

"Are you afraid of her?" the child asked and an image of Asuka flashed through Shinji's head.

"No."

"Are you afraid of him?" This time the image was of his father.

"No! I don’t fear him, I hate him!"

"Then what is it you fear? What's making you run?"

"I fear—" Shinji shook his head, refusing to finish the sentence.

"What do you fear?" the child asked insistently, refusing to let Shinji break eye contact. "What frightens you?"

"I fear," Shinji’s voice dropped to a whisper, "I fear pain."

He was standing next to a watermelon patch. Kaji stood next to him, his watering can in his hand. "Do you hate pain Shinji?"

"Of course I hate pain."

"You never want to feel pain again, that’s why you’re running away?"

"I’m sick of the pain. I don't want to feel it anymore."

Kaji tilted the watering can, spraying water over the melons. "And so Shinji Ikari decides that he'll never feel pain again. Good for you, Shinji. I’d say that I was proud of you except that you sicken me to my core."

Shinji looked down, unable to answer.

"I hate you Shinji because you lie to yourself. You’re running away. Do you think that by not confronting your pain it'll go away? I never thought you were so foolish." He dropped the watering can and turned to face Shinji. "Pain is as much a part of life as breathing. Life brings pain, but it also brings pleasure. You cannot have one without the other; without the other, you couldn't tell if you even had the one. If you’ve known pain and hardship it's easier to be kind to others, because you've experienced the same as they have. In it’s own way pain is the driving force behind human interaction. Yet you're seeking an end to pain. Is that what you really want?"

"I want to die," Shinji whispered.

Kaji tilted his head back and laughed. "Aha! Death: pain's ultimate antithesis. So what you really want is to accept the sweet lady’s promise of oblivion? To let her erase your pain forever."

"Yes," Shinji whispered. "Let me die."

Shinji was seated in Unit 01’s cockpit. Through the viewscreen he could see a boy clutched tightly in its outstretched arm.

"Do you wish for death because you regret?" Kaworu asked with a gentle smile.

"Yes."

"What is it that you regret? Killing me?"

"Yes."

"You regret my death, yet had I lived I would have killed you all. Do not cry for me Shinji. Only one existence would have survived our encounter and yours was not the existence that was to die."

"You should've lived, not me."

"The one who should have survived is the one who had the will to make it happen," Kaworu said with a note of pity in his voice.

"But I don’t want to."

He heard the toilet flush and quickly feigned sleep as the bathroom door slid open. He heard footsteps then a thump and a flush of air as a body settled next to his. He cracked an eye, then both popped open in amazement. Asuka was lay curled next to him on the mat and his fingers closed convulsively on the buttons of his Walkman, the music blurring backward.

He watched her for a moment, afraid that she would vanish like mist in the moonlight, but she was sound asleep. Her lips were slightly parted, he noticed as he leaned forward, his eyes intent upon her face. The music whined in his ears, words and chords blurred into incomprehensibility. The universe seemed to narrow around them until all it contained was he and Asuka. He swallowed convulsively and drew his head even closer.

Asuka murmured in her sleep. He couldn’t understand what she was saying, but then her lips moved slightly and one word came out clearly. "No."

Startled, he drew back and she opened her eyes and sat up. "No Shinji, you won’t die."

He drew his knees up to his chest. "I want to. I want it to end. Why can’t I?"

Asuka reached around Shinji’s head and grabbed a handful of hair. She pulled his head close to hers, forcing him to look her in the eye. He struggled to break away but her grip was like a vice and her eyes seemed to pull him in as if the entire world had vanished except for two blue irises.

"Because, there are some things that are worth dying for."

The music stopped with a snap as the tape hit the beginning. Asuka’s eyes dominated his vision, her face inches from his. He could feel her breath as she spoke. "And because there are some things worth living for."

Shinji felt himself hurled away. The room, Asuka, the mat, everything vanished. He was surrounded by black, a single point of light shining far over head. The darkness was stifling, filling his nose as he tried to breathe, and he struggled wildly, before beginning to swim up towards the light.

Voices swirled around, buffeting him in a vortex of sound.

"I want to live!" Shinji shouted.

"I want to live with the pain!"

The light grew closer but Shinji’s limbs were tiring and his lungs burned, screaming for air.

"I want to live!" he screamed and the light seemed close enough to touch

"I WILL LIVE!" Shinji screamed as he flew out of the darkness and into the light.

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Consciousness returned in a rush. The world snapped into focus as he opened his eyes and he found himself staring up into a fluorescent light. His eyes were dry and blurry and it took several seconds for him to clear them and bring the view around him into focus.

"I hate this ceiling," he whispered.