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Letters

The Ann Arbor News

Box 1147

Ann Arbor, MI 48106

Dear Editor:,

The upcoming klan rally will only be newsworthy if there is opposition and violence at the site of their rally. In an intellectually creative community such as Ann Arbor, there is an effective way to draw attention and publicity away from the klan rally and set a new standard for non-violent, public ridicule. Hold a "Ridicule Rally" at an alternate location and include events that invite crowd participation. Poke fun at the following suggested klan member attributes: stupidity, sexual deviation, low self esteem, being heterosexually challenged, impotence, family trees with no branches, etc. (the rules of fair play do not apply). A "Ridicule Rally" at an alternate location will be newsworthy across the country, and perhaps provide the inspiration for similar creative anti-klan rallies elsewhere. The following events can be included.

Hold a Klan Klown Kostume Kontest, with awards decided by crowd acclamation for the best costume, such as Frosty the Snowman in a white dunce cap, Frosty the Snowperson married to a spouse in a pig costume, with a child who is half pig, half snowperson (nongender specific to be politically correct).

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Compose and sing song parodies, such as "Joe Bob the Klansman" ("Frosty the Snowman")

Joe Bob the klansman,

was a credit to the Klan.

His B.O. was ripe,

and he would only wipe

with a corn cob or his hand."

Joe Bob the Klansman,

Got no respect from folks he met,

And it was no surprise,

When before their eyes,

His life sunk lower yet.

He must have found acceptance

From an old dead skunk he found

For as he hugged it to his loins,

He began to dance around.

Down to the village,

With that dead skunk in his hands

Running here and there all around the square

Saying "This meets my demands."

He took it down the streets of town

Up to a big vice cop

And he only paused a moment when

The poor dead skunk’s eyes popped.

Joe Bob the Klansman,

Had to hurry on his way,

Now he looks for dates

And a lifelong mate,

In the center of the state highway.

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 Compose and recite limericks:

There was an old klansman named Billy

Who had trouble controlling his willy,

It would only go up,

For a Doberman pup,

Or a photo of Bush’s dog Millie.

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The Ann Arbor News can print the best songs and limericks (edited to fit a family newspaper) and publish pictures of the best costumes.

 Sincerely,

If you think I'm going include my friend's name, for any idiot with a rifle in his pick-up and a skunk in his pants to read, then you're really not as smart as you think you are (of course, the chance that anyone like that could even plug a computer in is pretty low (I guess it might be possible for someone to be smart a racist (pardon the oxymoron)).

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