Cycle of Our Souls (1/?)
by M is for Mars
E-Mail: MCW717@hotmail.com
Rated: PG (for now)
Disclaimers and the like: Hey, guess what? I don't own Sailor Moon!!
Surprised as hell, aren't ya?!?! As we all know, Sailor Moon is owned by
Naoko Takeuchi/Kodansha, TOEI Animation. I'm not intending to steal anything,
and I'm definitely not making money from this, so please... don't sue me.
Anyway, this is my first attempt at writing Sailor Moon fanfic, and so it may
suck, and if it sucks badly enough, I'm sure someone will MST it (which would
actually be kinda cool... in a totally humiliating sort of way). I know zero
Japanese, which means I've only watched the DiC dubbed version of the show,
and therefor use the American names and all that. I hope all of you Sailor
Moon purists out there don't instantly write me off due to this, because that
would be kinda wasteful, wouldn't it?
Sailor Mars is my favorite, despite how DiC makes every attempt to make Raye
look like Miss Mega-Bitch, so this story is about her. The title comes from
a Shawn Mullins song of the same name, and I thought it was kind of
appropriate, what with the rebirth of souls being a very strong theme
throughout Sailor Moon mythology.
Please, please, please tell me what you think about this story, whether
your opinion is positive or negative. Feedback is really important to me,
and if you don't tell me what you like/dislike, I won't know what to
keep/change!
Now, finally, on with the show!
*********************************
Cycle of Our Souls (1/?)
I can't do this anymore. No, please don't start... don't tell me what I know
you're thinking. Don't tell me that everyone feels this way sometimes, that
with a little time I can work past it... I don't want to work past it! I want
to be normal! I want a life! Why can't anyone understand this? Why can't
all of you just let me go?
It's my duty. It's my destiny. It's my damn job. Yes, I know. But it all
comes down to one thing: I have no choice! I hate that. I truly, truly hate
not being able to choose. I live my life for Serena, I live my life for
Crystal Tokyo and for Reenie and for a future that I'm not even sure I want.
No, I didn't mean that. Of course I want Crystal Tokyo. Of course I want
Reenie to be born. I just wish I had been given a choice.
I suppose I was, back then... but I had no way of realizing what I was
agreeing to. No one did. Who could've known that the Moon Kingdom would be
defeated, that Queen Serenity would be forced to send all of us to Earth?
Who knew she would be forced to send us to a time when we senshi are... are
forced to hide, to pretend to be something we aren't... to pretend to be
normal. Gods, to be normal... The irony is almost too painful.
I know this is selfish, and stupid, and unrealistic... and for such a
seemingly petty reason! But I just can't forget. I can't forget his eyes or
his smile or his voice... and it angers me. I don't want to see him every
time I close my eyes! I don't want to dream of him every night, and to wake
up longing for him every morning! I am more than this. I am a Sailor Scout,
a princess, a priestess, a warrior!
It's not that I don't want to be a Scout any longer, it's just that I'm so
damn sick of having to hide who I am. I gave him up for you, Serena. I gave
him up for Crystal Tokyo and for Reenie and for a future that I'm afraid of.
I gave him up because I loved him so much that I knew one day I would tell
him who I am, and that in so doing I would put his life in danger. I knew
that if I let myself continue loving him, continue the way I wanted to, then
he would be doomed. They've found us before; what's to stop it from happening
again?
I am so frightened. I'm afraid of losing myself, of losing Raye Hino, of
becoming Sailor Mars in all that I am, have been or will be. There is more
to me than Sailor Mars! And there is more to me than loving him. I just
have to remember what that is.
End Part (1/?)
I know, pretty damn short! That's unusual for me, so expect the others to be
much longer. And, um, they'll explain what the hell she's talking about. :)
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