Meant To Be
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by Blue
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We were made for each other, we were made from love, and we were
meant to die with it. Yet, in the end, we had turned away to find that
that bond was not strong enough to keep the two of us together, for the
chains of fate had dragged us apart, from a bond that we had thought
was thicker than blood, thicker than time, stronger than fate. But we
were wrong, we should've known, that even when we were created
together, fate had other plans, that it was different than destiny,
that it could be stronger if it wished it. We were destined, they
said, to love to the end of eternity, but we were also fated, to kill
each other, to sacrifice our lives for those other than ourselves,
other than our love. And now I sit here and wonder, was there ever an
eternity, were we truly destined if fate had so cruelly pulled us
apart? I may never see you again, and I accepted that, yet, sometimes
I feel your lingered lips on mine, the brush of your fingers on my
cheeks, the softness of your smile, all those memories that can still
can lighten my heart in the darkest of storms or bring tears of
bitterness into my eyes. I know that I would forever love you; I know
that even so, I would still have sacrificed it all for my beliefs, my
dreams, my princess. That in the end, it was not the bond of love that
had tied us together and kept us apart, but duty, love had always had
to come second-we had all accepted it when we were first asked for the
task-but to live with it is a different story. For who can live an
eternity with loneliness and duty, when love is but a step behind?
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Just because we're destined...
...does that mean we're meant to be?
"Do you love me?" She had asked him that when they first met.
Strange as it was, she knew, from the very beginning that he was the
one. No, that was not why she asked, she asked because she knew that
there would never be a chance like this again, she needed to know.
He had looked at her startled, perhaps more by her beauty than
her question at the time and had hesitantly replied a hai, before
blushing profusely. Probably because the question had sunk in then and
he had realized what he had answered to, perhaps it was something else.
It was a lie; she knew it, yet she had convinced herself that it was
his soul speaking, that for a moment he was not himself and her someone
else, long ago and far away.
She could picture it perfectly, the two standing before the
crashing sea of meteorites, the fires of burning hell lightening the
sky and their goodbye was sad and they, saying nothing and knowing that
one day they would both regret it, stood there, still as statues that
longed to be close but could not. The lights of the ship that stood
beyond her flashed its warnings and she had grimly led him to the haul
and kissed him, once on the lips and smiled up at his startled face
before pushing him into the bright light. He had screamed at her in
anger, in confusion, and she had only stood there smiling, sorrow and
tears trailing down her cheeks, "Goodbye." She had said it then as his
form began to fade, "May we meet again someday, perhaps on better
terms." When his form, the lights, the ship had all disappeared, she
had turned to the fire lit hell, tears falling down her cheeks, turning
one last time she glanced to where he was last, "I love you." She
finally said, as another golden-haired man walked towards her, a
malicious smile on his face before turning to shock as he ran towards
her, as the dagger came down. "You shall never have me." Were her
last words as she smiled bitterly at him, the hatred in the other man's
eyes was the last thing she saw, not love, never love.
"Do you really?" She had repeated herself, digging her nails
into her palms, trying to push the images away.
"I don't know...who you are." He finally said, but she did not cry out in
pain, even if her eyes misted slightly.
She smiled and shrugged, ever so slightly, "Perhaps someday you
will know me for me, and I for you, but it will be too late then." Was
all she said, before she turned away, walking gracefully down the
corridors, knowing his eyes were trained on her, half in confusion and
half in admiration, at her beauty? She could care less. He did not
love her, and she knew that was the answer to her question.
Always too late does the knowledge comes...
* * *
"Minako-chan, are you ready?" The dark-haired woman poked her
head into a golden colored room, filled with molten yellows and pinks
and reds and heart-shaped pillows and stuffed animals.
"Ready?" A voice screeched out, as the dark-haired woman spotted
the exasperated silver-white cat, sitting on the floor and looking to
her as he helplessly sighed sadly to himself. "I have nothing to
wear!" Golden fuzz flashed across the room, before slamming into the
dark-haired woman. "Komban wa Rei-chan!" The blond squealed in
delight before disappearing in another flash, leaving a dazed and
slightly confused Rei wobbling at the door, regaining composer only
moments later.
Artemis then stepped towards her, and smiled unsteadily, as if
unsure what to say. Probably didn't come over to greet me because he
knew this would happen! Rei thought bitterly and glared at the
sheepish cat for not warning her about it earlier. "Minako, the ball
is beginning in an hour, can you please hurry it up, we cannot afford
to be late for this one, and I won't wait for you this time!" And get
in trouble again!
"But I heard they were very handsome and I want to look my
best!" The blond yelled out at her, sticking her head momentarily out
to look at her friend with a bright smile before turning back to her
closest, soon enough, dress after dress began to fly out faster then
light speed. Flung about in the already messy room.
"They're just earthlings." The dark-haired woman said with a
frown, "And men after all, they aren't worth the time of day in the
first place! Just wear the gold dress you wore at Serenity's
coronation and you'll be fine." The agitation in her voice could be
heard, and yet the blond was not the least bit fizzed by this.
"Hai! You're right, that's my best gown yet!" Pulling out the
golden gown she quickly disappeared into the bathroom and changed,
coming out fifteen-minutes later, to greet the dark-haired woman, now
seated on her bed and slowly flipping through the pages of a cast aside
book, while Artemis contently purred under the dark-haired woman's soft
caress, already forgiven. "How do I look?" The blond asked, posing
seductively, her friend sighed in frustration as the white-cat frowned
at the flashy material, before the former told her that her hair needed
to be pulled up.
"But Rei-chan, guys always said how they loved my hair down and
flowing!" Rei pointed to her own head to make a point and the blond
sighed, finally giving in to protocols, mumbling all the way through.
Finally ready after sometime, Rei dragged her blond friend out the door
and hurried toward the ballroom, muttering about how Serenity was going
to have their heads for sure and that this was the last time Rei ever
did anything for the blond again!
...Or too early to comprehend...
* * *
"May I have this dance?" She glanced up startled at to meet a
pair of cool and confident eyes, but she smiled anyway and took his
hand. He didn't remember, of course he wouldn't, it had been a while
since they last met, and she did not forget, for the simple reason that
if she did she would regret it greatly later on. Perhaps she had
failed to see that she had more to regret because she remembered, more
to regret that she had known.
"Of course you may my Prince." She smiled then, she rarely
smiled, but she found that this was indeed the appropriate time; there
wouldn't be any time for smiling later on.
Kissing her hand softly, he smiled in return, a triumphant look
within their depth and she wondered if she had made a grave mistake for
letting him have this triumph, but she would think about it later. Let
this be the night to remember. She thought, let this be the last and
only night, even if he is ignorant to it all. "My Princess, my name is
Jadeite, Prince Jadeite." He smiled, seeming to like the more intimate
introduction, even if the formal one had already introduced them.
"I am Rei." Was her only reply, she did not want to go to
charming him as her blond friend Minako was doing at that moment to the
mint-haired general, one who strangely resembled Artemis in his human
form. She didn't need to do the charming, for the blond haired prince
did most of the talking, as he swept her along the floor, while she
patiently listened. Something that she had long learned to do in
Minako's presence, while apart of her hungrily filled her memories
with his look, his smile, the way the light played across his hair,
there was another part that silently watched, ever pensive, ever
detached.
"...and then the Prince Endymion ran in with his rose in one hand, while Zoisite screeched in horror at his curls, ready to kill the
enemy for the great misfortune it had done to his hair and Nephrite
tried to hold back from laughing at the messy state that Zoisite was
in, and even Kunzite smirked at the scene, while Zoisite choked the
living daylights out of the Dark Kingdom youma." The blond-haired man
chuckled at the memory, while Rei smiled and laughed along with him,
her song-like voice drifting in the air, capturing several male
attentions nearby, including the blond-haired general who had then
possessively tightened his grip around her slim waist.
"It is an amusing story," Rei said with a smile, her violet-eyes
sparked with laughter, seizing his soul till he was sure that this
moment was somewhat familiar, that this had happened before, that this
feeling in his chest, burning him up was as new as it is old. But he
pushed it away, intrigue would have to take its place, there was no
place for this feeling that he felt, instinct had told him that, not in
this life anyway. Though whether he did it for fear or because apart
of him already knew its insignificance did not matter, it was his
greatest victory, but one that led to his most devastating defeat.
"Hai, it is indeed." But his attention was already diverted from
the memories of the past, as the purple-haired goddess that had
captured his attention had then looked into his eyes. This time it was
startling indeed, for at that exact moment, when he had cleverly
maneuvered them outside onto the balcony, just when the eerie light of
the earth reflected off of those violet depth did he for the second
time that night not only realized how beautiful she really was-heart
and soul-but that the familiar feeling still haunted him. The way her
lips quivered slightly did not divert her intense gaze, for for a
moment, just a moment, their souls joined. "I-" He begun, at the same
time she opened her mouth slightly, as if about to respond, but she was
not fast enough, for before she could form the words his lips met hers
as he swiftly silenced her there, giving her a passionate kiss, filled
with longing and everything that he wished to say but could not. His
hands reached for her hair, freeing the thick, long mass of blue-purple
mass down her back.
Her eyes widened in surprise staring at him with their hypnotic
purple-depth, so much so that he kissed harder and forced his own eyes
closed to hide his soul. "Do you love me?" A distant voice asked him,
and he remembered, but he pushed the thought away. "Maybe we'll meet
again someday, perhaps on better terms." That same voice whispered to
him in his mind, his memories, a voice that was different, but the
same.
"I could love you forever..." A distant voice begun to sing to
the melody played from within the ballroom, and she pulled away then
and looked into his eyes again, probing, asking. Confused, startled,
passionate, emotions that he could not understand and ones that he did
not wished to flashed within hers, he did not know what was in his own,
for at that moment he felt nothing, empty and slightly drained.
"I could hold you..." The music continued, "And if for once, just
once, I can kiss you goodbye, maybe this time, we will be together..."
"Goodbye." Was all she said, before she flew away from him,
frightened, dreamy eyes were the last that he saw of her, eyes that
haunted him forever. Perhaps even in the days when he had willed
himself to not be touched by those eyes, those passionate and
understanding eyes, forever holding his soul within their hypnotic
gaze.
...What and where the meaning lies...
* * *
"How do you know you've been touched by an angel? How do you
know when she has passed you by? Maybe someday you might see her
mingle, with our kind. But how do you tell her that you love her? How
do you know?" The words just came really, floated on notes right into
his window where he sat; staring blindly at his wall, wondering what
idiot was singing that song, even if apart of him rose curiously to the
tune that sounded so familiar.
"It must be the drinks I had." He said with a smirk, but it was
a cynical one at best as he fought to get her eyes out of his head.
After she had fled from him, he had slowly returned to the
ballroom, apprehension had tightened his muscles, unwilling to see her
dancing with anyone but him, for it had seemed wrong that she would, but
she was not there at all. At first he worried that some other dashing
young debonair had swept her away, but decided that he shouldn't care
what had happened to the Martian Princess, no matter how much he wished
to know. Gallantly, he walked over to another pretty young woman and
asked for her hand instead, and for the rest of the night he danced
with practically any pretty women that came into sight, but her eyes
still did not leave him. They were not her.
No matter how hard he had tried to forget he knew it was already
too late, for she had gotten to him already; under the light of the
Earth and the Heavens so help him, for he could not help himself.
But I am a rebel, a spy, as are the rest of them. He sighed and
with one angry throw, he sent the glass of liquor across the room to
the wall across from him, spewing contents of dark-liquid flowing
across the silver-cream colored wall and white carpet. Laughing at the
irony that he had indeed fallen for the enemy as they had all feared
and thought impossible. Him, the playboy of the group, the ladies-
man, who was more than willing to spend his time with a pretty face,
even if the personality behind it might be lacking, the cold,
passionate and calculating one of the group. Perhaps he was not as
cold and manipulative as Zoisite, nor was he as vain; he was not as
romantic in verses as Nephrite, but he never lacked attention from the
ladies, he never had to try very hard either. But this one was
different, she felt right...He slammed his fist down onto the table in
frustration and ran his fingers through his slightly tousled hair.
Damn her! Damn her for making him care so much about with whom she's with
and where she went! Damn her for being the enemy that he was supposed to
seduce, but found her too compatible to him to not be affected. Damn her for
making him doubt his mission.
True, over the years that Endymion and him had spent in training,
he had formed a bound with the young lad, had even came to like the
once pitiful Prince who couldn't even hold a sword right. But the
Prince was too late, it was all too late, for they had been sworn to
Beryl's lot since birth, the new Queen. She owned them. She owned
their souls. And until she be defeated in death and they reborn, it
was hopeless, they were bound, as soldiers are bound by words and
contracts, some not even their own.
Spies. How he was filled with glee over those words, feeling
particularly furtive one evening, he had looked into the Royals rooms
and found some very disturbing information, ones he had had to tell
Beryl, and now with the High Prince out of the way and on the moon, he
new it wouldn't be long before their dead bodies would be found. He
was growing soft, where did the old Jadeite go? Where did all that
party-animal, wild, without-a-care assassin go?
...We grow and find ourselves having drifted...
She rushed into the fire room, its flames flaring up slightly, as
if happy to see her back in its presence. Silently sitting down, she
breathed out a slow relief before glancing into the flames. She had
known that he would kiss her, knew that he would try to charm her, but
her insides still did flip-flops in his presence, and her heart still
soared at the sound of his smooth, deep voice and the questioning
within his ice-blue eyes, ones that still held warmth like a soft blue-
flame. To her they were beautiful, and yet somehow empty, as if they
could not and will not allow her into their depth, as if he held
nothing for her, and it made her empty.
"I cannot love you!" She screamed at him.
"You can, and you do!" He retorted right back at her, advancing
to her now seemingly fragile and trembling form. He reached out, so
fast that she had only time to step back before his hands on the sides
of her head trapped her into the corner, his body blocking any form of
escape that she could think off.
"Please, don't do this!" Her eyes, those shining purple-eyes
that had first captured his heart pleaded with him, but he could not
relent now, not when her heart was the prize.
"You're mine, and you know it!" He proceeded to brush his lips
against her lightly, as if to tease, back and force and back again till
she moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck, lacing her fingers
through his soft hair, finally he crushed her slight form to his own,
as if unable to get enough of her.
"He would find us, no matter where we go!" She said, when they
finally pulled apart, her eyes still pleading. "You must leave!"
"You're coming with me then!" He said, determination shining in
his eyes.
"She will not go anywhere with you, you filthy trash!" A harsh
voice interrupted them, just as rough hands pulled them apart. "She is
mine, as her father had said so when he sold her to me, I had paid for
her dearly and she will always be mine!" The golden-haired man snarled
at him, as dark-stormy golden eyes slanted at him dangerously,
challenging him.
"Oh great fire, why is this happening to me?" She asked in
despair. Why must I know too late?
Ever since youth Rei had been gifted with the psychic powers that
allowed her insights into the future, but it was not ones that came and
answered questions, instead they arouse more, for they only came in
flashes and images leaving her on the edge of discovery. Sometimes she
could only sense feelings of familiarity, sometimes she knew the event
only moments before its occurrence. She hated that feeling of
inevitability that came along with what others had called a 'gift' from
the gods, but it was no gift, it only goaded her. She was grateful for
the fire though, it usually helped her piece together the wayward
images to constructive thoughts and events, so she could understand it,
so she could tell the future, but it was silent on the subject that
involved her heart. It had made her angry at first that it would keep
such a secret to itself, but then her anger soon turned to sadness,
until she no longer asked, but she knew enough, enough to make her edgy
and uncomfortable, one that filled her with dread and sorrow. Even
now, she could sense the dark clouds of evil massing, perhaps millions
of miles off, or hundreds of years away, but it was like a sick wound
that festered at her soul, one that made her even more edgy than her
love life or lack of it.
This new evil that she had sensed had first came to her when she
was only a year into training in the moon palace and was still homesick
for her planet. The dreams, the visions, the screams had frightened
her so much at first that she feared sleep and stopped her fire reading
for a month before her haggard expression and poor reaction was no
longer able to be excused. She told the Queen right after her
disqualification from the field, the truth, for she could not lie to the
monarch that she had sworn her eternal alliance to, nor her daughter
who she had tried for so long to hid from in case that the other would
question her. But Minako was pertinacious from the start, until her
blond-haired friend got so worried about her that she disqualified her,
making it clear that she could not and would not wallow in her fear any
longer, that she was lagging behind and dragging everyone down with
her.
Perhaps the incident had fermented the relationship between the
two senshi even more-the exact opposite of what the blond had feared
would happen-and helped the two become even closer friends then before,
there was honesty and love as well and to Rei it was the most generous
offer of friendship ever given to her.
The dreams though lessened after that, but she knew the Queen was
worried, for there had been other cases that were similar to her own
before that. Ones that warned the downfall of her Queen's magnificent
kingdom and court, that peace would end soon and war will ravage the
countryside. Perhaps that was the one reason why the negotiations with
Earth had truly begun at all, for they all knew that the battle would
be long and an arduous one at best, that allies would be most needed in
the great confrontation that was about to occur.
Some claimed that this was the ultimate battle of good against
evil, others, that this was simply a new beginning. Rebels of both
sides have claimed that it was a cleansing of a corrupt society, that
it was one that was long needed in that of the Moon Kingdom of the
Silver Millennium. She had snorted at that, the Queen, corrupt? No, it
was none of those, she knew, it was simply another cruel twist of fate
that revealed enough but not enough to prevent it.
How she hated this gift, how she loathed waking up at nights, a
soft cry on her lips, her nightgown dampened by sweat and her heart
pounding at top-speeds as if she had been running a long journey. She
hated the screams that echoed in her ears, crying for help that she
longed to give but could not, she hated the helplessness she felt, the
fear, the uncertainty mixed with certain dread, she hated it all. But
it was apart of her, she could not remember a time when it was not, and
somewhere along the way she had accepted and learned to take her
defeats and rise again slowly, it had built her character, her
strength, but it had not stopped her from loathing it nonetheless.
The fire was silent, it had been silent these days, she felt the
dread of it all and for the first time, she feared that there would be
no more light at the end of this tunnel, and that this indeed was the
one battle that she could not win or get up from if she lost.
...Too far off to be rescued...
* * *
"My dear child, what is the matter?" The light silver-haired
woman asked, tints of soft violet glowed from beneath the sparkling
chandelier. "Did you have another vision?" The woman asked, her brows
frowning in concern, for both her kingdom and the child before her.
"Iie." The dark-haired one said, shaking her head to confirm
what she had answered, but before the monarch could relax the rest of
the answer froze that reaction. "It is not having it that worries me,
I know it has begun but we are blind. I can do nothing." The monarch
frowned in thought as an anxious feeling seeped into her blood.
"Nothing?" The monarch asked, perhaps a little desperately.
"Gomen nasai my Queen Selenity-sama, I can only advise you to
call for Pluto-san, but we all know that she would answer nothing about
what is to come. And I, am useless." The dark-haired one frowned, a
saddened look finally permeated onto her cool, composed face, and the
monarch knew the severity and the cost that it took for the child
before her to not break down and wail at the injustice and
responsibilities she felt pressing on her shoulders. The Queen felt
love and sympathy swelling at her bosom for this dear child, one that
was like her own, like all of the senshi were, but this one had it
tough, perhaps even tougher than Minako, the leader. She keeps
everything in too much! The Queen thought with despair, too controlled
and too composed, she will break under the pressure one day, and she
prayed that day would not come; she did not wish to see any of her
children deteriorate like that!
"My brave Rei, do not think that the end is near, the end is but
another beginning." The Queen smiled as the fire senshi glanced up at
her sharply, probably from surprise and shock. "You have already been
of great help, we already know that they are coming and that they have
arrived." The Queen smiled kindly down at her, "Remember my child, the
end is only the beginning."
...And yet a light shines once in awhile...
* * *
"What are you doing here?" She searched his face, his eyes,
hoping against hope that he was real, that he was unhurt. "How did you
get here?"
He swiftly bent down and gathered her into his arms, swallowing
her up in his arms, making her forget the rest of the world existed,
allowing a brief moment of belief that there is hope, that she is
allowed in this paradise, if only for a little while. But the dampness
she felt, soaking her gown startled her to pull back from him,
something that she had not wished to do. Staring at him and then down
at her gown, she gasped. The white, gossamer material was clinging to
her chest, dyed in deep red. Dark, crimson red. It was blood! Blood!
His blood? Her mind screamed in fear, no! Please no! Looking up at
him, she pulled at his jacket frantically, until he had to forcefully
hold her wrists away to stop her hysterical tearing of his clothes.
"My lovely, it is but a scratch." He stated with a soft smile and
pulled her struggling form back into his embrace and gently kissing
her, a kiss that calmed her and made her forget all else.
A while later she was finally able to find her voice again.
"You-what happened to you?" She asked, as she gently brushed aside a
stray blond hair, as she laid the soft white cloth against his wound.
Wincing at the sting he felt, he grinned mischievously up at her.
"Would you believe me if I told you that it was to make you fawn
all over me like right now?" She didn't laugh like she usually would
have; she was too worried about his state at that moment.
"You shouldn't do that." Was all she said, but her frown said
enough, marring her features with concern.
"I'm sorry my dear, I did not mean to worry you so, but I had to
see you, and the guard was in the way." A loud crash was suddenly
heard, and the two looked up startled at the clanging outside.
"So it has finally arrived?" The blond looked stern, but there
was sadness in her eyes, stealing away the light happiness that usually
shined through those silver-blue orbs.
"Hai, min'na, gomen, I did not wished this to be, but there is
nothing we can do but wait." The dark-haired woman looked defeated as
she hunched her shoulder slightly, she could almost feel the pressure
of responsibility there.
"Don't worry Rei-chan, none of it is your fault." The auburn
haired woman soothed with a soft smile, but worry was clearly expressed
through the emerald colored eyes, ones that could not hide her own true
feelings of helplessness and worry.
"Have you told the Princess yet?" The blond inquired, and as the
rest of the women all turned to her sharply.
"Iie, I did not want to worry her." The dark-haired woman
sighed. "She had not seemed this happy since Endymion's arrival, I did
not want to be the barer of bad news." She looked down sadly at her
hands, it was indeed pathetic, she too was in love, she too could be
happy, but she knew that if she allowed herself to feel the slightest
for him the battle would be ruined, everything would be fought for
nothing. He was her only weakness.
"And what of the Generals?" The blue-haired woman inquired, her
eyes worrisome, but kind and wise. She looked so beautiful nowadays,
now that she too has fallen in love with the enigmatic and vain
General, Zoisite, but her sweetness tamed him, in a way he was less
arrogant and more kind and considerate of others feelings, he could be
even sweet, but only around the blue-haired genius.
"Iie! We cannot tell them!" The dark-haired woman shook her
head. "Anything and everything spoken in this room would not be
discussed outside its threshold, we cannot disturb the time continuance
by giving knowledge to those meant to be ignorant until the time." The
dark-haired woman spoke fiercely; she did not want to face the
consequence of the act of breaking the most important rule of life.
"You're beginning to sound like Pluto-san." The blond joked,
trying to lighten up the mood.
"Only the Queen and us the Senshi knows it and only the Inners,
excluding Pluto who would reveal nothing more then what I am allowed to
be showed from within the fire." The dark-haired woman shook her head
sadly, "That is all I can say."
"Why are you telling us this, if it is against the rules?" The
blue-haired woman asked, tilting her head slightly in question.
"Because you are meant to know." Was all she said, before
turning and leaving the room. "Remember that no one should know, this
is an order from the Queen herself, and from me as well, there will be
great penalties on our part if the future is revealed, do not
disappoint me in this decision." She disappeared, sighing sadly, she
had never wished to speak so gravely or so imperiously with her best
friends, her sisters, her fellow soldiers and companions, but the
situation was grave and it will increase in intensity, she could not
afford feelings, especially personal ones to seep through her resolve
now, she was a soldier first and foremost, she had no room for love.
Walking slowly through the corridors, she found herself in front of the
library; its silver moon handles gleaming under the soft glow of
lights. Pulling it open she stepped in and walked to the furthest of
shelves before pulling out an ancient looking book, its pages worn,
seeming as if having gone through millions of handlings and hundreds of
years.
"...And if thou lovst me dearst of loves, thou would let me go,
and leave me in my miseries, where fate had set me down and I alone
shall venture on without you holding me or by my side, I shall carry on
alone. Until the night will come and take me down from my high
pedestal with the sun, let me love thee in secret and alone. Leave me
to my miseries with the waning of the moon, crying my tears until they
congeal onto the velvet sky, shining and sparkling like cool diamonds
too cool to touch, too far to have, and leave me with the stars. For
if you lovst me dearst of loves, you would set me free and leave me be,
for I can only drag you down; and too soon, too soon the time will come
and take you away from my cold embrace. Leave me be, oh leave me be
with my solemnest of goodbyes and tears, leave me to the solitude and
loneliness that can be my only company. Oh leave me be, leave me be,
let me love you alone in my dreams, for only then can I admit, that it
is you that I long for and you that I need. Leave me be for fate is
against us again, and cruel destiny has tied the knot too soon and too
late cut is it to set us free, too late cut for me to live without the
pain of eternity to leave me be. Leave me to my miseries, alone with
my solitude of loneliness and love, and let me love you in silence and
alone. For I will love you, onto eternity..." She sighed softly, but
she did not cry, even if she could feel the hot warm moisture burning
her eyes. Blinking them away furiously, she finally was able to regain
composer after a long while, breathing softly in relief she turned and
ran into a wall.
"What!" The blond asked in surprise. "You can't mean that you
told him!" She almost broke down and cried then, she had to have been
mad indeed.
"I-he took me by surprise, that's all." She looked down at her
hands and sighed, she shouldn't have been reading that poem, she
shouldn't have been so distracted that she didn't notice him when he
had entered, ad most importantly she shouldn't have let him see her
cry.
"My goodness Rei-chan how could you?"
"He should know." Was all she said.
"You could get killed doing that way!" The blonde said
worriedly, and finally stopped pacing around the room. "Do you?" She
finally asked when the silence begun to really sink in.
"Yes, I cannot hide it from him forever, and it is better said
now then never." She shrugged, for she really didn't want to think
about what had happened.
"Even if he is a traitor?" The blonde asked, her eyes flashing.
"You still love Kunzite-kun, and they have not yet betrayed us."
She said defensively, but she knew the other had a point.
"I have not told him anything." The blonde said defiantly.
"You should, there will never be a chance again after this."
"I don't want him to have that advantage." She stated and turned
around, her fists and the tensing of her shoulders where the only
things that gave away the intense emotions that the blonde was
suppressing.
"There is no law against love Minako-chan, you of all people
should know that. Be it traitors or lovers, we are indeed no better
than the rest, than evil, if we deny this of our hearts." The dark-
haired woman rose and set her hand on the blonde's trembling shoulder.
"Tell him." She commanded softly.
"Never!" The blonde cried, swirling around and backing away from
her friends grasp, the worried and startled look on the dark-haired
woman's face could not hide the pain and rejection she felt. "Never."
The other spun around and ran out of the room, leaving the dark-haired
woman alone, pondering what is to happen next, what else could go wrong
in her life now that she was indeed alone.
"In the end there is no one but the self." She said softly, and
a single tear slip through the tightly shuteyes, hiding the violet
colored eyes. Fate is cruel as is destiny, and in the end no love can
ever reach me, loneliness is my only companion. "Be kind and set me
free, where love can never reach me and leave me with only pain and
tears to remember what had passed me by." She quoted bitterly from the
book, and slowly her eyes opened, but there was only hard purple now,
like cold lavender gems, hiding all emotions, and locking the soul away
from the pain of love.
"I cannot love you." Was his only answer, one that echoed in her
mind, and she knew it would always be this way.
...How hope seemed to flutter
...and then leave us in the dusk again...
* * *
"No!" The crumbling palace floors, the walls, the tapestry, it
was all happening again. The screams of agony, the feeling of
helplessness, the destruction, just like in her nightmarish dreams,
only this was not a dream, the wound that the last youma she had slain
had confirmed it and was her only proof. The blood was now hardened
and crusted on her arm, and the pain pounded itself into her brain.
Drowsiness and fatigue had settled into her bones from hours of
fighting against the seemingly endless army of evil, she already knew
who she was looking for the meeting was unavoidable, and she was unsure
if she could go through with it. Her heart was unwilling to do the
actions she knew was necessary, one needed to win this war, her
feelings would have to come second now.
"Iie!" A war scream was heard and she looked startled to see the
crazed eyes of another staring at her as it charged, acting upon
instinct she whipped up her sword and plunged it into the soft body,
only when the scream of pain snapped her out of her warrior trance did
she realize how small it was. It was but a child, a dying crazed
child, but a child nonetheless. She gasped in surprise and caught the
flaying body as it fell backwards, screaming insane words, half out of
pain and half out of hate.
"Iie!" It was her this time, eyes blurring with guilty tears.
"Iie!" She screamed again, lightly shaking the body that had
suddenly gone completely still in her arms, "Don't you dare die on
me!" She yelled, holding the now pale, cold body, one that seemed too
fragile to be the threat that it had seemed but moments before. The
blood soaked through her uniform, making the material cling to her
body, it was not her blood. She could drive herself crazy this way,
she realized it in a flash of brightness, Venus, her friends, they
needed her, she could not wallow in her own guilt and despair now.
She got up reluctantly to head toward the flashing of lights,
cutting her way through the youma army, she did not want to waste her
energy yet with magik, there was little time and it took too much out
of her. She lived on her sword and it had kept her alive so far.
"Mars! We're so glad you finally made it!" The auburn haired
senshi said with a sigh of relief.
"Hai!" The blue-haired senshi agreed, before calling on her
element and blowing another hole in the coming army. Venus stayed
silent, the two had been like that since the day Mars had urged her to
express her feelings, but it was the betrayal of the Generals that cut
off all communications off for the two friends.
"Hai." She said softly, even when the others frowned slightly at
the silence.
"What happened to you Mars?" The auburn senshi asked, suddenly
realizing the splattered blood on the dark-haired senshi's uniform, and
the disheveled look on her face.
"Fire Soul!" She screamed and took out an entire chunk out of
the coming army, ignoring the question she pretended that she didn't
hear which wasn't hard since the armies that were fought were loud and
screams were everywhere.
"You can never have her! You hear me?" It was a command, not a
question. And he frowned, annoyed and fearful for her welfare, he did
not wish for her to be hurt because of him.
"She is mine and we both knows it." He said arrogantly.
"Damn you! Damn you!" The blond man across form him said,
bitterly shaking his head. The two looked extremely alike, only their
eyes were different, one had golden eyes, the other a cool-blue. "Damn
you brother, I curse you, curse you that you may be doomed to never be
with her, not in love, not ever again!" The other shouted in rage.
"Iie!"
...And the future is unchangeable...
...we realize...
Suddenly the army of the youma retreated, and before them stood
four men, beyond them was seven dark shadows and a woman, hair red as
flames flowing down to the ground and eyes gleaming with the look of
the possessed.
"So dear senshi, we finally meet." The woman smiled, "I've heard
a great deal about you, and I must say, you sound...pathetic." The
thing laughed, and soon hundreds of thousands menacing laughter
followed. The blue-haired senshi tapped her right ear for a moment and
a blue colored visor appeared as a long extended mouthpiece formed,
extending form her ear to her lips. A computer soon followed as the
senshi furiously typed away, trying to discover weak points, and gasped
in shock at what she had found.
"We're surrounded, aren't we Mercury?" The blonde asked with
distaste.
"No, not just that my dear." The four men stepped forward, as
the light of crimson fires of burning corpses revealed their faces.
They had all known this for sometime now, all anticipated it in
their own way, but in their own way none of them was ready.
"Have fun girls!" The woman laughed and disappeared.
Neither side moved for a moment, one from shock and dismay that
the future was indeed unavoidable, that there was no more hope for
their own souls, and the other simply searching for a weak point,
perhaps even a signal to attack.
"So Senshi, have you missed us?" The long-blond general asked
with a cruel smile while the rest of the General's smirked at the
comment.
"We will never let you win! Traitors!" The auburn-haired senshi
screamed out a war cry and begun to charge, the blue-haired girl cried
out a warning but it was too late, the battle ensued.
The blonde-haired senshi shot a worried glance at the dark-haired
senshi who returned the look, but the message was clear, there was to
be no more mercy, no more love, no more hope. This would be our last
battle-field their eyes seemed to say, whether we live or not, this
will be our last-how wrong they were about this, for the fates were
never fare or merciful, as is time, and all those who are wise or old
should know that promises were made to be broken. They were born too
be soldiers, they would die as soldiers, they would rise back as
soldiers, there could be no other way around this.
The youma came in hoards, and blood and screams washed the ground
and marred the skies, innocence would never return again until a new
birth is given. War is death, death is life, and they, the ones who
create it, will forever suffer the consequences for that of other's
happiness.
The soldiers fought bravely, their blood staining the once pure
ground of the moon, their agony breaking away that silence and peace
and even a bit of idleness had once set there. And somehow away from
it all stood the senshi and their Generals, "This is the end." The
mint-silver haired general stated with a grim, but menacing look.
"We had always known that duty was above all else Kunzite." The
blond-haired senshi said with an equally grim look, but hers held
sorrow and perhaps even regret at the words that she had never uttered,
and it was now, when it was too late did she realize that the dark-
haired senshi's warning had been correct, this mistake was one she
would regret forever. "I did not think that you would be so traitorous
as to turn your back on that of honor and duty, I was wrong indeed you
are no better than the rest of them..." She forced the tears back, she
would never cry, not now anyway.
"Hai, I had always thought that loyalty and reverence was what
had always been your strong point, I too had miscalculated, you are
nothing but ordinary men, greedy and untouched, unable to be touched by
love or understanding." The dark-haired woman said bitterly, perhaps
she was the most knowing of one of this event, but to her, this
betrayal ran deeper, harder, and yet she felt empty, like that night on
the balcony when she had first, perchance, caught the eyes of a man she
could've loved, should've loved, but she knew now that that too was not
meant to be, he could not love her, the empty look within his eyes
mixed with admiration was not confusion but the lack of it or any
emotion. Like other men, he only saw her as a face in a million faces,
another woman to perhaps distract him for a time before moving on, she
could never forgive him even if her heart, no her soul, would always
belong to him, but she could never allow her heart to feel this love,
she would go mad if touched by it, if she is not already there.
"What? You are pathetic, to let your hearts be moved by such a
silly thing as love." The dark-haired general laughed, his voice still
musical, still deep and melodious and beautiful, still having the
ability to sweep her away. The auburn-haired senshi frowned. "This
has nothing to do with love." She stated with a hard glint in her
eyes, she had fought battles a million times before, but it was only
this once that she found that she had no stomach for, and wished for
death to come and take her away, but duty had and always will-even now-
tie her down to the ground. She had her princess to protect; she would
not let her heart get in the way of it. In a way, she realized, she
was no better than a youma, no better than that thing that looked like
her beloved. There were no room for it now, no room.
"And what is it then if not for love?" The shorthaired blond
general asked, his smile mocking, his ice-fire eyes held no more
flames, no more warmth.
"This is war." The blue-haired senshi said, one hand gripping
tightly to the hilt of her sword, the other transforming her computer
to an invisible keyboard at which she typed away at with her free hand.
"This is duty, this is not love, love can only kill now, love will die
and it will never rise again." She stated bleakly, her eyes lacking
the warm blue that once had drawn that first general to her and melt
away the icy coldness of the longhaired blond general's heart, but it
was missing now.
"Very poetic don't you agree?" The longhaired blond general
asked, but attacked, soon all out war broke between the two parties.
Splitting into groups, the two head senshi-Venus and Mars-faced off
with the two head generals-Kunzite and Jadeite-and Jupiter and Mercury
fought with the remaining two generals.
"Venus, love and beauty shock!" Blowing the deadly kiss that
tore a chunk out of the head general's left shoulder.
"Fire soul!" The dark-haired senshi weaved the flames out,
charring uniforms and burning flesh.
"Pathetic!" Jadeite cried and lounged toward her with his sword
flashing menacingly, gleaming unmercifully like fate, she blocked it
with her own.
The fighting continued, match after match until both sides were
tired, but stubbornness kept the fighting going on. Suddenly a cry of
pain was heard and soft blue fell to the ground from the corner of the
dark-haired senshi's eyes, but it totally distracted Jupiter, who cried
out a no, but Nephrite prevented former from running to aid her friend,
and in a fit of rage, the sword sliced through Nephrite's flesh,
sending the crazed senshi from a fit of rage to total sorrow as she
stared down at her bloodied hands, letting go her sword in a clutter
and cried out in pain, throwing herself toward the fallen general. But
either by a harsh twist of fate, or simple accidents, the dark General
used his last strength to thrust his sword into Jupiter, sending shock
through her body. She fell, her eyes locked on him the whole way,
accusation, love, hate and mayhaps even a hint of forgiveness that was
beginning to blossom, shining in her dying eyes. Unfortunate for the
two, time was not an element that was on their side, forgiveness would
not have time to blossom this time, instead, the her tears were in
anger and betrayal, her last cry being that of a battle cry, her last
call was for revenge. Them, locked in a fatal embrace of hate and
love, died in the way of soldiers, and lovers who could not love
because there was no chance for that to blossom either in war, where
only hate resides.
The blond senshi cried then, for her soldiers, her friends, her
teammates, and the taunts of a man whom she formally loved did not
help, nor her tears. Jumping away, she turned to Zoisite, who was
still seemingly shocked and holding the blue-haired senshi in his arms,
her body pale and seemingly smaller, murmuring something over and over
again. Venus, acting much like Jupiter at that moment, ran over, sword
held high as she raised it to behead him. He glanced up only once, his
eyes, shining with tears, looking at her yet not seeing her, did he
then smile-a peaceful smile-as her sword came down and met flesh, his
last words on his lips, ones that echoed to the end of the blond
senshi's days, "The ice that melted into love."
The mint-silver haired general was not pleased, and came after
her; he was but a few meters away when she killed the curly-haired
blond general. "You shall pay dearly Venus." He cried, as he charged
at her, his eyes cold, the violet-blue empty as black voids, her sword
came up just fast enough to run him through, but it had cause her
dearly, for the blood that stained her uniform was not only his, but
her own. Taking a ragged breath she laughed, or croaked, since the
contrasting of her stomach muscles was painful, especially around the
blade. "I love you Kunzite, and I hate you!" She told him, kissing
him forcefully on the lips looking deeply into his startled, hate
filled eyes, before hers went blank and her grip lessened till she was
only slumped against him. The hilt of her sword suddenly snapped, as
if the sword was apart of her soul, and when the soul died, the sword
would join its owner, and perhaps in a way it was and had always been
apart of her, the leader, with her sword of love and hope.
"I love...Minako-chan." His eyes softened, and for the first and
the final time, he let his heart, his soul shine through-past his
mindless need for duty-but for a minute and kissing her gently on the
lips, even through all the pain, before he collapsed, their bodies
fallen to the ground.
"Iie! Minako-chan!" The dark-haired senshi cried out in
despair, distracted when she saw the last fall of her leader, her
beloved sister of her heart, her best friend, dead in the embrace of a
man the blonde could not admit love to but in those last, devastating
minutes. It pained her so much so that she forgot all about the man
she was battling, about the man she had told her heart to but was
rejected, her soul to shattered so much more then, there could be no
more forgiveness, it was too late even if he was the other half of it.
She forgot the war, everything but her best friend, her sister.
"Mina-" She should have known he would take all the advantages,
even the most low and devious one, he was a winner, he would win at all
costs. She did not fall, she refused to fall now, she too was a
winner, and with that, she kicked him even as she felt the blade rip
her insides, even as she felt the rough force of the pull that left her
screaming in agony, blood spurring out of her stomach where the steel
was once embedded there. Her blade slicing the ground as she
despartely fought to stay up. Gathering every last fiber of her being,
knowing the attack would kill her, she begun to chant the ancient words of power.
"I call upon the power of Mars, release me...release me..." She
softly whispered. "Mars power ignite!" The flames shot from every
pore, every fiber of her soul until she felt her very being engulfed in
the heat. Her fragile form rose from the ground, and all of a sudden,
flames shot from her body, forming a bright cross of fire that
imprinted the sky, a war cry rang through the fields as she slowly
opened her now empty violet-eyes and face the outside world once
again. His black-golden merging with the darkness came upon her,
"Gomen nasai Jade-chan, gomen nasai." She whispered to him sadly, for
then and only then did she realize the truth-in that last statement
given to him so long ago-as the came together, his sword stabbing her
in the chest, while her fire engulfed his form. There never was
and never would be a time that would be on better terms than this, this
ultimate sacrifice had confirmed it. They were enemies, they were
betrayers and they were soul mates; ones that had committed this crime
and like her comrades, she knew there could never be a togetherness in
any form of the matter. They were taken by the flames, and for one
eternity, they were together, purged of guilt and sin, it was the
heaven that those earthlings had always been seeking for but the moment
had ended, her only reminder were his remaining ashes that clung to her
hair and flesh and uniform before it too dispersed to nothingness. No
remains, her heart whispered, no more to live for.
She felt so tired, as if she had fought a battle-this battle-all
her life, and in a way she had. "We were never meant to be." She
remembered that song now, she remembered when she first heard it as a
young and romantic, starry eyed girl, how she spurned it, believing
love could concur over all things, that good would always win. But now
she understood just how sorrowful it was, just how ironic.
The tears slid down her cheeks, her violet-eyes closed flutter
before all movements stilled and she fell, her long purple hair flying
in the fluttering breeze as she dropped. I will love you forever, her
soul whispered softly to the winds. Her body was already cold when it
hit the ground, her tears mingled forever with her blood and his
forgotten ashes, staining the ground for eternity and beyond for the
wrongs done there.
"Mercury? Can you hear me?" The voice of Artemis called out
from her earpiece, faintly heard over the battlefield.
"The Prince is dead." The silver-haired woman whispered, my
friends are gone, my home is destroyed, there is no more hope in this
life that death cannot offer. She moved over to the body of the dead
blond senshi, and picked up the hilt of the royal sword, one that had
somehow broke off in battle. "The Prince is dead." Her sad tears
staining her gown as she stumbled over to his still body, disbelief
still shinning in her once bright eyes, now dull, the radiance of
innocence gone, yet she watched him as a lover would watch over her
soul mate as he dreams. "Wait for me, I am coming." She whispered
softly, as she brought the poisoned blade to her wrists and slit them,
watching her blood flow down her pale-silky flesh that he had loved so
much to touch, as the world went black.
A scream was heard over the field of corpses, the Queen had lost
the war. But with her last breath, the old Queen sealed the new Queen
and sent all of her children into the future, hoping that this time
fate would not be so cruel to them as it had this time. She was wrong
in this as well, but fate could never be so cruel again, it was
crueler. In the end the Senshi overthrew the new Queen and brought the
rightful heir of the Moon Kingdom Princess to the throne and built
Crystal Tokyo, but fate had taken their soul mates while they were
ignorant of their enemies and of themselves, and condemned them to an
eternity of duty by a Queen that they loved and yet, to loneliness as
well; one that they could not escape but in death.
...Good or Bad...
...We are all Damned.
We were never meant to be,
We could not love so easily.
Nor give our hearts away for free,
Like in days of youth and romantic dreams.
I was truly your meant to be,
But that never mattered to you or me.
On this battlefield of trials,
Where we traded our souls for greed and betrayals.
And in the end we found it true,
The harsh realities cutting through.
That love is like a rose in bloom,
But all of beauty will but wilt in gloom.
And leave us not but with grief and miseries,
To stain our hearts, and deem it true,
That fate is as cruel as the Gods above,
That we were never meant to be;
You and Me...
...But Death is a new beginning...
The End.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I know, I know, it's kind of depressing and it's not a happy ending, but I felt that this is the tragedy of the Sailor Senshi, that to be heroes they had to give up that part of life and love. I also made it that the generals did not lose their memories, maybe that point didn't come out too clear, but I felt that in the end they had indeed betrayed the Senshi and it was because of duty, because they felt that there was another chance in the new Queen (Beryl), that responsibility for the future was more important than their own needs for love, and in the end both sides turned out to be wrong, for when one stop fighting for love that is when all things becomes meaningless. Oh, look at all this serious yammer! Actually, all I have meant to say is that, hope you enjoyed the tale. If you have any questions or comments, please, write to me at:
oceanblues@usa.net
Hope you like it!
Ja!
Blue
PS. If I spelt Beryl's name wrong, it's because, well, i don't like
Beryl and I was too lazy to look up how to spell it. Hopefully it is
correct *cross her fingers*, if not i apologize for the horride
spelling error...please, if you want to think of me as an idiot, go
right ahead, but i like to classify myself as a procrastinator and a
very lazy one at that ^^'
Ja!
Blue
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