There are several hundreds of thousands of cases of victimized young
married girls. I try to provide two case studies in brief to drive home
the points-
Zakia is a graduate and a good-looking girl, around 25 years. Her husband
has been
working in a Gulf country for a couple of years. She is in her parents'
home. The
husband sends money every month to his parents. Zakia gets nothing from
her
husband. Her young kid is taken care of by the grand parents. Her in-law's
are in a
place far away from her house. She lived with the in-laws for a few years
after
marriage. But, what was the treatment she received there? Scolding, insult
and
humiliation. One day her sister-in-law's husband graciously suggested that
she be set
ablaze with kerosene. Zakia started trembling. She informed her parents.
Mother went
all the way to her in-law's place, studied the conditions, got satisfied
and brought back
the daughter with her child. The so-called husband knows only to serve
his mother
and sisters with his petrol dollars. His cruelty knows no bounds. He happily
neglects
wife and child. Perhaps he would get married to another woman and live
in comfort.
What about Zakia? She has just taken up a teaching job and survives. She
does not
want to depend upon parents and a married brother forever. One should meet
Zakia
and make to unfold her miserable life.
The second case relates to Asma who is also a graduate. She was working
in a NGO,
earning a reasonably good salary. She is a very charming and gentle girl.
She got
engaged to a person working in a Gulf country. She had high hopes. But
she was
ditched after marriage. Her mother-in-law is a dictator. Asma cannot even
open the
almirah without the permission of her mother-in-law. If she has to visit
her parents it
must be just for two hours every Saturday. She has absolutely no liberty
even in small
matters. One day she put on her own jewellery and went to her mother's
house. The
Mother-in-law had accompanied her. When Asma removed her burkah, the
mother-in-law saw the jewellery worn by the daughter-in-law. Back in her
house, she
questioned Asma as to how she took the jewellery without her permission.
Asma
replied that after all it was a piece of jewellery that she had got from
her mother.
Then the mother-in-law informed the son and raised the bogey of insult
to her. The
noble son told his wife over the phone that she could stay back in her
mother's house
until further orders. Poor Asma is not sure of the consequences, She sheds
tears,
fearing the worst.
Marriage is a major social institution well accepted all over the world.
It establishes durable
relationship between a man and woman as husband and wife. Human society
has witnessed
several changes in the personal relationship between man and woman and
it has now presented to
mankind the present system of relationship as recognized by the society.
Islam has laid particular
stress on the need, relevance and significance of relationship between
man and woman tied
together through the institution of marriage. Blessed are the couples who
become husband and
wife through this institution.
The contemporary society in general has been witnessing several changes
in the inter-personal
relationship between husband and wife. The impact of the evils of the modern
society which is
highly corrupted and has lost control over social and ethical values, has
ultimately ruined the
Muslim society too.
The great advantages of faithful and concerned relationship between husband
and wife are being
lost and the result is that the very edifice of family is shaking. The
invasion of corrupted values and
practices has led to creation of terror in the minds of the young unmarried
girls who are mute
spectators to what is happening to their sisters, cousins and friends after
marriage. Marriage has
become a nightmare and is considered to be a necessary evil up to a point
and beyond that a
curse. Wife-beating, dowry harassment and harassment by the mothers-in-law
and sisters-in-law
besides some male members of the family are crushing the ethos of Islamic
ways of life after
marriage. Rights and duties of all the members of the family are well laid
down and guarded in
Islam. But in a society which is degenerating fast and where the beauty
of Islamic message for a
blissful family circle is fast disappearing, what remains is nothing but
the wreckage of the
demolished system. How to solve the problem and who has to bell the cat
remain almost outside
the reach of ordinary mortals. Dark clouds with thunder and lightning are
hovering over the heads
of people with imminent chances of Heavens falling on earth.
When we hear the heart-rending stories of married girls (not a generalization!)
We tremble and
fumble. The mind refuses to believe. The Heart refuses to beat. Eyes become
dim and wet and the
whole human system becomes numb. Then, what about the victims of the tragedy?
Who is there
to rescue the young, educated hapless girls who had dreamt of heavenly
bliss after entering into
wedlock? Community leadership is helpless. Parents can at best provide
temporary asylum.
Married brothers dance to the tune of their wives. Religious leaders remain
outside the domain of
family relationship. Legal recourse is costly and uncertain. Feminine activists
raise their voice,
which boils down to a whimper. Protests and demonstrations will create
a social movement.
Commissions of enquiry get into atrocities and harassment against women,
but their reports get
dusted and rusted in the cupboards of the State.
These unfortunate married girls will have sleepless nights, weeping all
by themselves, drinking the
sorrowful tears from their eyes. Often they have tender children, the only
hope for them and the
only factor which prevents them from committing the inevitable and prohibited
self-extinction,
suicide. Suicide is a sin but life is a pain. To live or not to live is
the thoughtful or thoughtless
provocation.
Lip sympathy and external ointment to the dreaded broken relationship will
only prolong the
disease, worse than cancer. What is then the alternative, if there is any?
A thefty penalty is to be
paid. Survival warrants removal of the sacred but vitiated married robe.
Is it very difficult? No, the
depth of pain and misery is so much that if determination is not there,
the human body will easily
be consumed by the power generated by these forces. If will power is exercised,
then these girls
have chances of survival and can face the challenges. They may take the
lead in ushering a new
socio-cultural environment where women can demand and get their rights
and status granted in
Islam. The male champions of women's right will get into oblivion and may
have to wear masks or
burkah to cover their Hippocratic and shamed faces. A revolution, not evolution,
becomes
inevitable. The true spirit of Islam may then prevail. Aggrieved and suffocated
women can provide
a dynamic and hopeful leadership to make the males hang their heads in
shame and female foes of
the unfortunate female victims will have to repent for ever because their
daughters may also face a
similar situation. This realization would provide on easy and quick solution.