From: "Kurtis Markuson" 
Subject: [FFML][MST]What an odd, odd world.
Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 21:51:26 PST

PUT OUT YOUR TORCHES
(and stumble blindly about your castle)
Fantasy realms aren't like they're supposed to be...

	This will be my first bona fide attempt at an MST. Thanks go out to 
A-kun, who gave me the opportunity to try out the MST format that was 
floating 
around in my warped mind. This is a response to the MST challenge set 
forth by 
A-kun. So, A-kun, take no offense at what I am about to do, I find most 
of your 
stuff hilarious; and always remember, you asked for it! So, without 
further 
ado...

THE DUNGEON
	Karas Ashwood was not feeling great. In fact, he felt as if he had been 
drugged, beaten till unconsious, and thrown into a dungeon only the 
Creator knew
where. Upon opening his eyes, he found that this was in fact the case. 
He looked
around. He was in a small room, lying on a bed. There wasn't much else 
in the
room except the bed. The brown haired mage got up, straightened out his 
blue 
robes, tried the door, and finding it unlocked, stepped out.
	He appeared to be in some sort of common area, with a table and a few
chairs. Karas noted that there were two doors set into the wall across 
from him,
a large mirror on the wall to his left, and an archway with runes around 
it to
his right. He also noticed the two people sitting at the table. One was 
seven 
feet tall and seemed to be made of stone; an obsidiman. The other was 
female,
about fourteen inches tall and had wings like a dragonfly's; a windling.
	"Ah, you're awake," said the obsidiman, turning to greet Karas. "I am
Orin Granitefist, Weaponsmith."
	"Hi!" said the windling, waving. "I'm the famous thief, Dalla Dewdrop!"
	"Greetings," Karas replied, bowing. "I am Karas Ashwood, the wizard. Do
either of you know why we're here?"
	"I believe I can answer that," came a voice from the mirror. A voice 
all
three prisoners recognised instantly.
	"Notros," the three muttered venomously.
	"Indeed," said the thin, pale, black haired, black robed nethermancer 
as
his image appeared in the mirror. "Notros Blackstar, at your service."
	"Why have you imprisoned us?" roared Orin, clenching his massive hands
into fists.
	"The answer is simple." Notros calmly replied. "First, you have all 
been thorns in my side, foiling my attempts to rule this world, and this 
is an
effective way of ensuring that you will not interfere in my latest plan. 
Second,
I require test subjects for my latest plan."
	"We won't be here that long," said Karas. He held his hands out in 
front
of him and invoked the ancient words of power. As he finished the 
incantation, a
few sparks leapt from his hands, but nothing else happened. "What 
the..."
	Notros laughed cruelly. "I have set an anti-magic field around your
prison, Karas." he said, "You will not be able to escape. I teleported 
you down
there as well, there is no way out."
	"Then what's through that funny-lookin' corridor?" asked Dalla.
	"That brings me to my plan," said Notros. "As you are all no doubt 
aware, there exist several worlds besides this one. Tell me, are you 
familiar
with the Anime Realms?"
	"Of course," replied Karas. "I watch in on them now and again. The
adventures of their heroes are quite entertaining." Orin and Dalla 
nodded their
agreement.
	"A lot of action in those realms," said the obsidiman.
	"They're really romantic," the windling chipped in.
	"Well, my plan involves stories about those realms written by people
from the Earth realm." said Notros. "Some of these tales are actually 
quite 
good, but the ones I will employ in my plan are horrendously bad. I will 
circulate these "fanfics" all across this realm, and all those who read 
them 
will be overpowered by their sheer insidiousness. They will be so 
deluged with
bad literature that they will give anything to make me stop!" Notros 
punctuated
this statement with a bout of Evil Laughter(tm). 
	"And you want to try this out on us first," Karas finished for him.
	"Exactly," replied Notros, his laughter abruptly cut off. The first fic
will be ready in a few moments. When the runes around the archway start 
glowing,
you may proceed through to the Viewing Chamber." Notros' image faded 
from the
mirror.
	"Great. We're going to be stuck in here, watching bad fan fiction until
we snap." grumbled Orin. "How long will that take?"
	"I've heard of some these 'Fanfics'," replied Dalla. "If the really bad 
ones are really as bad as they say, it shouldn't take long."
	Karas, however, was more resolute. "We can't afford to snap. If we do, 
Notros will unleash bad fanfics upon this world."
	Orin looked at him. "I suppose you have a plan for keeping our sanity?"
he asked. Karas nodded.
	"I do. Tell me, when you're watching a really bad play, what do you do 
to liven things up?"
	Dalla answered almost immediately. "Heckle." A smile slowly made it's 
way onto Orin's stony features. Then the runes around the archway began 
to glow
with a red light.
	"The Chamber awaits." Karas intoned softly.
					***
(The three enter into a small chamber with a large crystal orb in it. In 
front 
of the orb are three seats, each made to comfortably seat it's 
respective
occupant. KARAS sits in the middle, with ORIN on his right and DALLA on 
his 
left.) 
>Ranma 1/2
>by A-kun the Super-fan
KARAS: And he's modest, too!
>What An Odd, Odd World
DALLA: You got that right!
>Introduction
>
>	This is my first Fan Fic, so please be nice.
ALL:(Dripping sarcasm) Oh, we will!
  I was inspired after 
>reading
>other peoples Fan Fic.  Right off the bat, Thank you, Rumiko Takahashi.  
>And I must aplogize to the skilled author's before me, I may be using 
>some of their material.
DALLA: Apologizing won't get you out of a plaigarism lawsuit, buddy.
KARAS: Seeing as these fics aren't actually published, I don't think 
they'd have
grounds for a lawsuit, Dalla.
DALLA: Screw you.
  I feel compelled to explain some things in my 
>story.
ORIN:(sarcastic) Oh good, I'd hate to be confused.
>1.  The beginning of this story starts about ten years after actual 
>'Ranma time'
KARAS: It's now 10:53 PM, "Ranma Time"
>and starts in Texas, USA.
DALLA: Ranma goes to Texas.
ORIN: Dubbed Ukyo should fit right in.
>2.  The beginning also doesn't have Ranma, but trust me, he's in here.
DALLA: That's right folks, a Ranma fic without the Ranma!
KARAS: Be nice...  
>I basically explain most of the events.  But, at times, I don't have 
>time to write the whole boring story.  So, I'll have Author's notes.  
>Please bear with me.
ORIN: I'm with you, man. Damned antecedent action...
>3.  When we finally arrive to point where Ranma finally comes in, it's
>their senior year.
>4.  I can't express enough about how confusing this story is (In my 
>mind, it all
>makes sense).
ORIN: Well, at least it'll make sense to somebody.
  And hopefully, all questions will be answered in the 
>story.
KARAS: Except, of course, for the all-important question, "Why did you 
bother?"
>5.  Happosai has actually left for months when he comes in.
DALLA: Why are you telling us this now?
 (Author's 
>note:
>unfortunately, I had to try to tie up as many loose ends as possible.)
>6.  Alot of things may come a shock, so don't spoil things and prepare
>yourselves.  It's fun.
KARAS: If you want us to be surprised, why are you telling us all this?
>7.  One more thing, anything written between { } is said in chinese.
KARAS: {Ah, yes, Chinese.}
DALLA: {An interesting tongue}  
>Everything written between * * is in english.
ORIN: *Anybody can speak English.*
  + + indicates an ancient 
>langauge.
KARAS: +Like the language of Magic?+
DALLA: +Possibly Tellekure.+
ORIN: +How many people do you think will get that reference?+
  Thought is between [ ].
DALLA: [Well I think you can take this fic an-]
KARAS: [Dalla...]
  The rest is in japenese.
>8.  And one final note,  this adventure will be China, America, and 
>Japan.
ORIN: I thought this was a Ranma story.
DALLA: Yeah, who are these China, America, and Japan guys?
>9.  This is the final note (I swear),
ALL: We'll hold you to that....
  I really didn't research the 
>medical or scientific facts presented in this Fan Fic.
KARAS: Yeah, accuracy, Who needs it?
  Enjoy!
ALL:(sarcastic) Thank you!
>10. Ranma and co. are a lot more open minded in this story.
KARAS: Hey you said #9 was the last note!
DALLA: And why are they more open minded?
>
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Ranma 1/2
>Chapter 1
>The Experiment
>
>	A young man looked up from the piece of paper he was carrying and
>stared at the huge building in front of him, then at the gate in front 
>of the building.
ORIN:(young man) Oh no! I've got the wrong address. Losercon '98 is all 
the way
across town!
KARAS: Here now, we don't know if he's a loser.
DALLA: Yet.
>	He was about five foot nine inches with blue eyes, brownish-black 
hair, 
>and had a moderate build.  His black shoes, grey shirt, and blue jeans 
>all showed a lot of wear and tear.  As the young man approached the 
>gate, the guard asked if he could help the young man.
DALLA:(young man) Yes, is the local brothe-
KARAS: Dalla... 
>	*"Yes, is this the university of science?"* the young man asked.
ORIN:(guard) No, this is Arkham Asylum. We've been expecting you.
>	*"Yes."* the guard replied.
>	*"I'm Orion Fleiss.  I was told to come here for a test."*  the young 
>man said, getting straight to the point.
DALLA: The point?
KARAS: Yeah, the one under his hat.
>	*"One moment, I've got to confirm you."* the guard told Orion.
ORIN: Confirm?
DALLA: Does that mean what I think it does?
KARAS: I certainly hope not.
>	Orion nodded as the guard went in his guard box, picked up a phone,
> and punched a few buttons.
ORIN:(guard) Take THAT, you buttons! And THAT!
  He then proceeded to describe Orion, nodded 
>three times, then let Orion pass.
KARAS: What's the password?
DALLA:(Nods thrice)
KARAS: You may pass.
>	["Finally, after an entire year without a decent paycheck."] Orion 
>thought.  He had spent the entire year looking for a good paying job, 
he 
>had spent all of his money looking in almost every city in the 
mid-west.  
>Either he wasn't qualified, there were no openings, or it wasn't decent 
>pay.
KARAS: He looked all across the northwest and he still can't find a job?
DALLA: Does he qualify as a loser yet?
KARAS: Getting there...
>	But, thanks to the new animal rights movements, he was about to make a
>fortune by being a test subject.
ORIN: Yeah(twitch,twitch), Being a (twitch) test subject is 
(twitchtwitch) 
great. All those (twitch) rumors about (twitch) side effects are 
(twitchtwitch)
false(falls over.)
DALLA and KARAS:(Applause)
  After looking over two floors and 
>three offices,
>Orion arrived at the right room.  (No,he doesn't have the Ryoga 
>complex(ability to get lost in the same building).)
KARAS: We know what the Ryoga complex is.
ORIN: And we also know that Orion doesn't have it, cuz he's NOT RYOGA!
KARAS: Whoah, calm down, big guy.
>	A tall scientist wearing glasses walked up to Orion and asked *"You 
are 
>Orion Fleiss, aren't you?"*
DALLA:(Orion) No, I'm The King of Spain.
KARAS: Another oscure reference, free.
>	*"Yes, I am."* Orion responded. A male scientist with a ponytail about 
>Orion's height walked up and began questioning Orion.
ORIN: That's one long ponytail.
>	*"You do have cancer, right?"*
>	*"Yes."*
KARAS: Orion has cancer?
DALLA:(rubbing her temples) I predict that the author will attempt to 
introduce
elements of tragedy.
ORIN: The key word being "attempt".
>	*"How long have you had it?"*
>	*"About two years."*
>	*"And how did you get it?"*
>	*"Another experiment.
ORIN: He got cancer from a previous experiment, and he signed up for 
another 
one?
KARAS: If he's not a loser, he's definitely a slow learner.
  I had an ulcer before, a group tested a possible
>cure for an ulcer.  Something involving radiation."*
DALLA: How do you treat an ulcer with radiation?
KARAS: Whatever happened to good ol' milk of magnesia?
>	Both present scientists raised an eyebrow.  A female scientist walked 
>up
>and said *"It shouldn't affect the results much."*
>	*"So....are you guys testing a cure for cancer?"* Orion asked.
DALLA:(scientist) No, we just asked you about the cancer because we're 
nosy.
>	*"Yes. Mister Orion, you are going to be a pioneer in medical and 
>scientific research."* the thin scientist announced.
>	*"Does this involve needles?  Cause if it does, you can just find 
>another pioneer."* Orion announced.
KARAS: He has cancer, there's a possibility of a cure, and he's going to 
decline
it if he has to get a shot?
ORIN: I think we can safely upgrade Orion from "Slow Learner" to 
"Blithering
Idiot."
DALLA: Hear hear!
>	*"No needles.  Here's a jumpsuit.  It has remote electrodes in it so 
we 
>don't have to bother with annoying wires."* the female scientist told 
>Orion, handing him a jumpsuit.
>	Orion walked into another room, dressed, then came out feeling rather
>goofy in the red and blue jumpsuit.
ORIN:(Orion) I feel kinda ridiculous...
DALLA:(scientist) That's cuz you look kinda ridiculous.
  After signing a waver to any legal 
>actions, he was told to stand in a tube that slightly resembled a can 
>with half of the middle cut out.  *"Now, all I have to do is stand 
here, 
>right?"* Orion asked, double checking.
KARAS: That's what they said, Einstein.
>	A hollow intercom voice replied *"Yes, are you ready?"*
>	Orion nodded, praying that this would work.  The scientists each went 
>to three separate buttons, pushed them, then walked to three levers.
ORIN: Levers?
DALLA: Who are these guys, Frankenstein's kids?  
>*"Now!"* they yelled in unison as they pulled the levers.  The two male 
>scientists ran to a bunch of monitors to check if the treatment had 
>destroyed the cancer, as a bright light fillled the experiment room.  
As 
>the light died, the female scientist checked to see if Orion was okay, 
>then she interupted the other scientists who were trying to figure out 
>what the monitors' readings meant, *"Ah, you guys.  I'm not sure, but I 
>think we should try to figure something else out."*
DALLA:(female scientist) Like, what's the meaning of life?
KARAS:(male scientist) 42.
ORIN:(Deadpan) Verrrrrrry funny.
>	*"Like what?"* the pony tailed scientist asked.
>	*"Like where our test subject is."* the female scientist responded.
>	*"What?!!"* the other two scientists said in unison, racing to see 
what 
>could have possibly happened.
ALL: SHE SAID-
KARAS: Ah, forget it.
DALLA: Yeah, that joke's older than Milton Burle.
>	The three frantically tried to figure out what had happened to Orion.
>	*"Uh, you guys.  Maybe we should have plugged it in."* the glass 
>wearing scientist said.
ALL:(facefault) WHAT!?
DALLA: I guess these scientists are pretty stupid too.
KARAS: What I want to know is how did the machine manage to do anything 
if it
wasn't plugged in?
ORIN:(Shrugs) 
  They all looked at the plug that the scientist 
>was carrying, panicked and ran screaming out of the room.
ORIN: Oh, very rational. Just what I'd expect from a scientist.
>
>(end of chapter 1)
ALL: YAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!(They exit)
					***
THE DUNGEON
	As the trio emerged from the Viewing Chamber, the image of Notros 
appeared in the mirror. "Back from your little excursion I see," he said 
mockingly, "I trust you are ready to beg me to stop?"
	"Hell no!" said Orin. "You really expect us to surrender after one 
lousy
fic?"
	"This attempt really was quite laughable, Notros," said Karas. "I had 
expected better from you. I'm disappointed."
	"Stick it up your ear, ya ugly third-rate magic-using moron!" added 
Dalla.
	Notros frowned. "We'll see if you're so proud when I send you the next 
part of this story. Prepare yourselves!" His image faded from the 
mirror.
	Karas sighed. "Well, we made it through our first ordeal."
	Orin nodded. "He won't give up easily though. He'll send us more of the
story we saw today, and maybe more after that."
	"Ah, as long as we keep on laughing, we don't have a thing to worry 
about," said Dalla as a meal suddenly appeared on the table. "Hey, it's 
dinner
time!" She quickly flew over to the table and busied herself with the 
food. 
Karas and Orin went over to join her. As their first meal together came 
to a 
close, Karas raised his glass.
	"Here's to our newly forged friendship. Until our dying day, may we
continue to perservere against Notros Blackstar and his ilk!"
	"Hear Hear!" the obsidiman and windling replied in unison, all three 
clinking their glasses.
BLACKSTAR TOWER
	Notros scowled. Laugh at him, would they? Impudent fools. He scanned 
the
fanfic in front of him once more. The next time those three gathered in 
the 
Viewing Chamber, he would see who would be laughing then. "They are 
strong," 
Notros said to himself, "but even they will succumb to bad literature in 
time.
Then, there will be no one left to stand in my way! 
HahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHACK COUGH GASP....."
THE END

MSTer's Notes and General Ranting:
	I hope you have enjoyed this, my first official MST. Tell me what you 
think. All comments and questions may be sent to kaldar87@hotmail.com. 
Flames
will be sent to the Viewing Chamber and shamelessly ridiculed. Thanks go 
out to
Megane 6.7 and all other MSTers who came before me, may I be a fraction 
as good 
as you guys. Special thanks to A-kun, for providing the material. Please 
don't
send TharzZzdun after me. MST Belongs to Best Brains, Inc. and Ranma 1/2 
belongs
to Rumiko Takahashi, Yadda yadda yadda, koo koo kachoo. Ja ne.

If my sanity asks, I was never here.
Kurt Markuson.
STINGER:
>	*"Uh, you guys.  Maybe we should have plugged it in."* the glass 
>wearing scientist said.

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