Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 23:39:19 -0800
From: Red Death 
Subject: [FFML] [MST]A-Kun's Challenge: An Odd, Odd world  (ch. 1)

A light comes on in a dark, spartan room.  A trio of rather ugly
recliners can be seen inside, facing an odd-looking wall.  What's so odd
about it?  Well, it's glowing blue, and looks like a giant computer
screen.  Perhaps because it is one.  Theres a small table beside each
chair.  Thats all.  Boring room, eh?
	The only door to this incredibly depressing room opens to admit three
human-looking humans.  Their names are Dave, James, and Susie.  With
nothing better to do, they have come here.   They're REALLY bored.  They
take their seats and wait.  After a time, which seems like five minutes
but is in fact four-and-a-half, one speaks.

James:  Can we get on with this, Dave?  I have a root canal I'd like to
get to.
Susie:  Dave, I hope this one's better than that last 'thing' you
brought us.
Dave:   Oh, please.  If this were any good, would you be here in the
first place?  This time it's a little different.  The author of this
little nugget actually *asked* people to take it apart.
James:  Thats a new one.
Susie:  Really?  Is he some kinda wacko?
Dave:   Nahh.. Apparently he hates this one as much as everyone else
does.
James:  Is that so?  This I gatta see.
Susie:  Me too.  Load the fic, dork.
Dave:   ...

	Dave grabs a remote from the little table by his chair and hits a
button.  The lights snap off while the wall goes black.  Time passes,
though not much, and words begin to scroll across the wall...


> Ranma 1/2

> by A-kun the Super-fan

> What An Odd, Odd World

> Introduction

> 

>         This is my first Fan Fic, so please be nice.  I was inspired after
reading


Susie:  Thanks for the warning, dude.
Dave:   "Nice" is not in my vocabulary.
James:  I'm surprised you know "vocabulary", Dave.
Dave:   ...
 
> other peoples Fan Fic.  Right off the bat, Thank you, Rumiko Takahashi.  And I
must aplogize to the skilled author's before me, I may be using some of their
material.  I feel compelled to explain some things in my story.


James:  No excuses, young man.

> 1.  The beginning of this story starts about ten years after actual 'Ranma
time'

> and starts in Texas, USA.


Susie:  Great, someplace ELSE with a language I can't understand.
Dave:   What, Texas?  Or the USA?
Susie:  Yes.

> 2.  The beginning also doesn't have Ranma, but trust me, he's in here.  I
basically explain most of the events.  But, at times, I don't have time to write
the whole boring story.  So, 

Susie:  Gods forbid the story actually SURPRISE us...

I'll have Author's notes.  Please bear with me.


James:  The new brand of Ranma fics: Ranma Lite!  100% Ranma-Free.
Dave:   If you're gonna explain it all, why read it?
Susie:  For the sheer laxative quality?
James:  Bears?  It must be a Ranma and Yogi crossover.  I love that
bear.

> 3.  When we finally arrive to point where Ranma finally comes in, it's

> their senior year.

> 4.  I can't express enough about how confusing this story is (In my mind, it
all

> makes sense).  And hopefully, all questions will be answered in the story.


Dave:   This does not bode well...
Susie:  At least HE knows whats going on.

> 5.  Happosai has actually left for months when he comes in. (Author's note:

> unfortunately, I had to try to tie up as many loose ends as possible.)


James:  Someone manages to tie Happosai up?
Dave:   We can hope.

> 6.  Alot of things may come a shock, so don't spoil things and prepare

> yourselves.  It's fun.


Susie:  I repeat myself.  Thanks for the warning.
Dave:   I've got a feeling the only shock we'll be getting is if the
screen explodes.
James:  Or if this turns out to be any good.
Dave:   I'm almost HOPING the screen explodes.  We're not even into the
fic itself and I already wanna die.

> 7.  One more thing, anything written between { } is said in chinese. 
Everything written between * * is in english.  + + indicates an ancient
langauge.  Thought is between [ ].  The rest is in japenese.


Dave:   (If you say so.)
Susie:  *Making any sense yet?  Didn't think so.*
James:    +It's all Greek to me.+
Dave & Susie: ...

> 8.  And one final note,  this adventure will be China, America, and Japan.

> 9.  This is the final note (I swear),  I really didn't research the medical or
scientific facts presented in this Fan Fic.  Enjoy!


James:  Malpractice, anyone?
Susie:  Well, it does make perfect, you know.

> 10. Ranma and co. are a lot more open minded in this story.


Dave:  I thought he said that number 9 was the last note?
Susie: Open-minded?  Does this mean this fic is a lemon?
James: There's no sex, but it's sure a lemon alright...



> Ranma 1/2

> Chapter 1

> The Experiment

> 

>         A young man looked up from the piece of paper he was carrying and

Susie:  "Dear sir:  Are you tired of being in quality fics?  Do you long
to be the main character in a mind-numbing piece of offal?  Does your
heart yearn to be in an Oscar fic?  If so then have we got the fic for
you!"
James:  Damn, Suze...  A trifle harsh, wasn't that?
Dave:   Must be her time of the fic.
Susie:  Grr....


> stared at the huge building in front of him, then at the gate in front of the
building.

>         He was about five foot nine inches with blue eyes, brownish-black
hair, and had a 

Susie:  Handsome bit of text, isn't he?

moderate build.  His black shoes, grey shirt, and blue jeans all showed
a lot of wear and 

Dave:    Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed nerd..

tear.  As the young man approached the gate, the guard asked if he could
help the young man. 

>         *"Yes, is this the university of science?"* the young man asked.


James:  Is he asking the guard or telling him?
Dave:   I doubt if even the author knows.

>         *"Yes."* the guard replied.

>         *"I'm Orion Fleiss.  I was told to come here for a test."*  the young
man said, getting straight to the point.


Susie:  Son of Heidi, no doubt.
James:  In that case we're already screwed.
Dave:   

>         *"One moment, I've got to confirm you."* the guard told Orion.


Dave:   Catholic priest fo a guard, eh?
James:  He better pray for release from this fic, then.
Dave:   No miracle can ever be that big.

>         Orion nodded as the guard went in his guard box, picked up a phone,


Susie:  Guard box?
James:  Must be a newer model guard, right out of the package.

>  and punched a few buttons.  He then proceeded to describe Orion, nodded three
times, then let Orion pass.


Susie:  Those poor buttons.  What did they ever do to you, eh?

>         ["Finally, after an entire year without a decent paycheck."] Orion
thought.  He had 

Dave:  Even McDonald's turned him down.

spent the entire year looking for a good paying job, he had spent all of
his money looking in almost every city in the mid-west.  Either he
wasn't qualified, there were no openings, or it wasn't decent pay.


James:  Welcome to America, son.

>         But, thanks to the new animal rights movements, he was about to make a


Susie:  So many people overlook the animal lefts...
Dave:   Quite right.
Susie:  No, left.
Dave:   ...

> fortune by being a test subject.  After looking over two floors and three
offices,


James:  I thought the bugger was only 5'9"?!
Susie:  Small businesses are the wave of the future, you know.

> Orion arrived at the right room.  (No,he doesn't have the Ryoga
complex(ability to get lost in the same building).)


Dave:  Thats for clearing that up.  Wouldn't have got it otherwise.
James: Go easy, Dave.

>         A tall scientist wearing glasses walked up to Orion and asked *"You
are Orion Fleiss, aren't you?"*


Susie:  I hope so, his name's on my underwear.
Dave:   Really?  
Susie:  Hey!!  
James:  Cool it, children.
Susie & Dave:  Okay, daddy.

>         *"Yes, I am."* Orion responded. A male scientist with a ponytail about
Orion's height walked up and began questioning Orion.


James:  Wow.. I've never seen a ponytail that big.

>         *"You do have cancer, right?"*

>         *"Yes."*

>         *"How long have you had it?"*

>         *"About two years."*

>         *"And how did you get it?"*


Dave:  I sent away four-hundred Betty Crocker points for it.

>         *"Another experiment.  I had an ulcer before, a group tested a
possible

> cure for an ulcer.  Something involving radiation."*

>         Both present scientists raised an eyebrow.  A female scientist walked
up


Susie:  First a ponytail, now some eyebrows.  What is this place?!  The
Potatohead Institute?!
Dave:   When they say "Make yourself into a whole new man" they aren't
kidding.

> and said *"It shouldn't affect the results much."*

>         *"So....are you guys testing a cure for cancer?"* Orion asked.


James: Actually, we're testing a new formula for Rice Krispies.  The new
and improved Tumor Flakes.

>         *"Yes. Mister Orion, you are going to be a pioneer in medical and
scientific research."* the thin scientist announced.


Dave:  Well, ain't that a kick?

>         *"Does this involve needles?  Cause if it does, you can just find
another pioneer."* Orion announced.


Susie:  What's one more prick in this fic, eh?
James:  Ouch.

>         *"No needles.  Here's a jumpsuit.  It has remote electrodes in it so
we don't have to bother with annoying wires."* the female scientist told Orion,
handing him a jumpsuit.


Dave:   These Texan wires get pissy when annoyed.

>         Orion walked into another room, dressed, then came out feeling rather

> goofy in the red and blue jumpsuit.  After signing a waver to any legal
actions, he was told 

James: Up on the screen!  It's a bird!  It's a plane!  It's Captain
Fanfic!
Susie: Able to make leaps of logic and bad taste in a single paragraph!
Dave:  Jeez..

to stand in a tube that slightly resembled a can with half of the middle
cut out.  *"Now, all I have to do is stand here, right?"* Orion asked,
double checking.


Dave:  They can't afford full lead shielding or something?

>         A hollow intercom voice replied *"Yes, are you ready?"*


James:  No, I'm British.

>         Orion nodded, praying that this would work.  The scientists each went
to three separate buttons, pushed them, then walked to three levers.  *"Now!"*
they yelled in unison as 

Susie: *"Now!"*?  When?
James: Never, with any luck.

they pulled the levers.  The two male scientists ran to a bunch of
monitors to check if the treatment had destroyed the cancer, as a bright
light fillled the experiment room.  As the 

Dave:  That light is the only bright thing in that room, apparently.

light died, the female scientist checked to see if Orion was okay, then
she interupted the other scientists who were trying to figure out what
the monitors' readings meant, *"Ah, you guys.  I'm not sure, but I think
we should try to figure something else out."*

>         *"Like what?"* the pony tailed scientist asked.


Susie:  What the point of all this twaddle was?
Dave:   Where the "DELETE" key is located?

>         *"Like where our test subject is."* the female scientist responded.


James: Running far and fast from this fic, if he has any sense.
Dave:  Sense?  In a fanfic?  C'mon.

>         *"What?!!"* the other two scientists said in unison, racing to see
what could have possibly happened.

>         The three frantically tried to figure out what had happened to Orion.

>         *"Uh, you guys.  Maybe we should have plugged it in."* the glass
wearing scientist 

Susie: Why is he wearing a glass?
Dave:  Something to pass the time, I suppose.

said.  They all looked at the plug that the scientist was carrying,
panicked and ran screaming out of the room.


James: Finally, someone with the right idea!
Susie: Hear, hear!
Dave:  Well that's chapter 1.  Anyone ready for chapter 2?
Susie: What the hell, I'm numb already.
James: Lemme use the can first.  I get the feeling we'll be here a
while.
Dave:  I hope not...  I'd like to live to see forty.


-- 
"Hell is an idea firstborn on an undigested apple dumpling."
--
Chris Coonen
Reddeath@lvdi.net

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