A-kun: Well, it's a Zelda/Sailor Moon fanfic.
?????: I've trashed that game, so let's get it on!
>From: DRGDevil@aol.com
>Subject: [ffml][author's frist fanfic][sm/zelda] Usagi no Densetsu! Mamoru e
> Kako, Prologue
>Date: Tue, 2 Feb 1999 22:18:56 EST
?????: Wait, you got this a while ago?
A-kun: So sue me. I've been busy.
>Just to tell you, this is my first fanfic. Please, please e-mail C&C
>privately or publicly. I await your comments with much anticipation, so I
>know whether or not to continue this series because of interest. I currently
>don't have a web page for this fic, as I am waiting to see what everyone
>thinks. Arigato!
A-kun: Well, that's why we're here.
>drgdevil@aol.com
>
>
>Usagi no Densetsu! Mamoru e Kako! is a story with the characters from Sailor
>Moon in situations of the game A Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.
?????: Usagi no Densetsu? What does THAT mean?
A-kun: Usagi owns a Desoto? How the hell should I know?
>Disclaimer: I am using characters from A Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
>without expressed permission of Nintendo and other companies that own it. I
>am not the creator of Sailor Moon, Naoko Takeuchi, or part of Toei Animation.
>Other characters are of my own creation. Please, please don't sue me.
?????: So long as Mamoru doesn't say something like: "What ho, there is a pile of pig dung blocking my way!"
A-kun: Or "Aw well, masturbate in hell!"
>Note: Events do not happen as they may have in the game.
>
>Usagi no Densetsu! Mamoru e Kako! (Legend of Usagi! Mamoru to the Past!)
????? and A-kun: GAaaaaAAAH?!
>-Prologue-
>
>It was morning. The sun was just above the horizon and the birds chirped so
>loudly that Mamoru was forced to wake up.
A-kun: Yeah, that's morning for you. Always being a pain in the arse by coincideing with the sun rising.
>"Unnnnhh. Oka-san! Oto-san! I'm leaving."
?????: He's leaving butt-naked?
A-kun: Maybe he sleeps in his clothes like Link does.
>"Bye, dear," said mother, "don't forget your lunch! See you after school!"
A-kun: That was another thing that always bugged me, no schools.
?????: No soldier barracks.
A-kun: No toilets or outhouses...
?????: Maybe everyone goes in the bushes.
A-kun: In just ONE game, I'd like to see an outhouse that you could blow up. See toilet paper flying everywhere...
>It was like any other day at Omote-Dori Elementary.
?????: Um, wasn't Link about sixteen?
A-kun: Well, on the cover he looks about that old, but you never know.
> Mamoru blinked in and out
>of his classes without a care in the world.
?????: Until he started flunking, that is.
> Finally, the bell rung after much
>anticipation, and he was on his way.
A-kun: I thought he didn't have a care in the world.
>When Mamoru got home, his mother was waiting for him at the door. "Guess
>what, Mamo-chan? We're going to visit Ojisan tonight.
A-kun: I think it's Ojiisan, but don't quote me. I don't have my handy Japanese-to-English dictionary.
> So do your homework
>now, and then you won't have to worry later."
A-kun: [mom] Because I'm going to murder you in your sleep tonight!
?????: And didn't Link live with his uncle?
A-kun: Things aren't the same, remember the opening?
>YES! thought Mamoru, Grampa! He always gives me gifts and good food when we
>visit!
?????: Maybe you should signify thoughts to separate them from the other words, so your readers don't get confused.
A-kun: And it's spelled GRANDPA.
>After meticulously going through the homework that Somei-sensei had given him,
>Chiba Mamoru and his family were off to Grampa's house.
A-kun and ?????: [singing to the tune of "Wizard of OZ"] %We're OFF to see the 'Grampa', the wonderful 'Grampa' of Oz...%
>A black cat was walking across the road, minding her own business while Mamoru
>and his family sped up a hill.
A-kun: [Mamoru] AIM FOR THE CAT!
?????: [black cat] Hey! Watch it or I'll cross your path!
> Upon seeing the cat, Mamoru’s eyes opened
>wide.
A-kun: [Mamoru] HooOOOdy-HOOO! It's one of th'm CATS! Let's fry'er it up!
> He had never seen a cat with a crescent moon on its forehead.
>Apparently, his father saw the cat too, and he swerved to avoid it. While
>making a recovery from the near road-kill incident, a truck rounded the turn
>on the hill.
A-kun: Tragedy struck, a lone crossbow man... *BLAM* *BLAM* *BLAM*
?????: Crossbows don't shoot bullets!
A-kun: I never said he had a crossbow. All I said was that he was a crossbow man at heart.
>“Watch where you’re goin’!” barked the driver of the truck, and he honked his
>horn. Not being a very good driver, Chiba-san was thrown off course by the
>alarmingly load noise, and the car tumbled down the hill, turning and flipping
>over countless times on its descent. Darkness engulfed Mamoru.
?????: And instead of following the Legend of Zelda history, we follow the Sailor Moon history.
>“Where-where am I? Who am I?” the child asked.
A-kun: Who's the child?
?????: Maybe it's the plot. You know, young and not very well developed.
A-kun: You're rather cynical.
?????: I'm sorry, but A-chan was right. These stories are just plain silly.
A-kun: A-chan isn't an authority of fanfiction. She actually LIKED some of Great White Serpent's works.
?????: EeeEeeeEeeewww! Really?
A-kun: No. I'm just pulling your leg.
>“Hi! Today, Usagi is going to be a big sister.” A small child with blond
>odangos on her head said as she handed over a rose to the child.
>
>“Arigato, odango-atama” the child said as he looked at the girl, and saw her
>flicker in between her normal toddler clothing and a short, white ballroom
>gown with a crescent moon an her forehead.
A-kun: Hey, hey, hey, hey! It's a little too early to be doing this!
>“That’s not a very nice thing to say,” Usagi coughed out between tears. “I
>was just being nice. I’ll remember you.”
?????: YAAAAY! There's an omnious saying.
> As she slapped the child and ran
>out of the hospital room.
A-kun: *SNAP*
?????: [O_O] Getting dark?
A-kun: [darkly] Yes.
>“Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!” screamed Mamoru as he woke with a startle. “Oh.
>Just a dream.” Mamoru confirmed this as he peered around his one room house
>that held his Uncle and their few possessions.
?????: Um, isn't this EXACTLY like the game?
A-kun: Actually, it's a tad more like that brief comic strip in Nintendo Power.
> Wait. Where was his uncle?
>“Oji? Where are you?” But no one answered Mamoru’s call.
?????: It wasn't until too late that Mamoru heard the raptors enter the room...
A-kun: And you say _I_ can get dark.
>Mamoru lit the lamp and saw a note attached to his uncle’s bed. It read,
?????: [Note] Off to die against no visible opponent, pizza's in the oven. Don't wait up.
A-kun: [Note] Gotta sweet score tonight. Be home once I get some.
?????: Hey, isn't that a note that A-chan wrote?
A-kun: Your point being?
?????: [;;~_~;;] Nevermind.
>“Mamoru. I have been summoned by Princess Usagi to the castle. As one of the
>Millenium guard, I must go without knowing what is going on. Do not follow
>me. When I return, I will tell you about your parents. Love, Oji.”
A-kun: [Kintaro Oe] OOOOOOOJIIIIIIIIIIIIISAMA!
?????: [whapping A-kun] No Golden Boy references!
>Mamoru, whispered the wind.
?????: It proceeded to tell him to shove it sideways, 'cause it didn't give a damn.
A-kun: [the wind] Guess what I saw? I saw a girl butt-naked. Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh! And she had no clothes on either. Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!
> Your help is needed at the castle. I am in the
>castle dungeon. There is a secret entrance in the castle garden. Hurry.
?????: [the wind] And don't worry. This isn't telepathy, it's just a plot contrivance.
>TO BE CONTINUED...
>
>Has it hooked you yet? Please tell me what you liked or disliked about the
>fic, with public or private C&C.
>I have a lot of this series mapped out, and it gets MUCH more interesting than
>this prologue.
>
>drgdevil@aol.com
>
A-kun: Okay, first of all, try not to do anything trite like have various characters replaced with others, like Ganon with Metallia, that wizard of Ganon's with Beryl or Kunzite, the guards with Youma (well, except maybe in the Dark World). That would just make it a fusion.
?????: And have something different happen, don't just follow the game.
A-kun: Yeah, do something like have Mamoru get the crap beated out of him and tossed into a dungeon, then a nameless red-shirt has to-wait, that's off Oracle Humor. Aw, who cares.
?????: But, it does hold SOME promise.
Sent out by Ben McCrillis
reply at akun15@hotmail.com 'cause ????? doesn't want to give out her e-mail address.
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