(Warning this story may be very depressing, I wrote it as a thought on what would happen if Ryou got into drugs. alot of the issues in it though are very important. I hope that whoever decides to read this will understand that there is alot to learn from it. Thank you)
I had that dream again last night, the one where I am at a train station, and everyone is boarding a train. I try to tell them that i saw the future, that the train was going to crash, that they were all going to die. But they never listen to me. I tell them all these things but they never listen. They all board the train anyway, all of them, starting with my mother, looking so happy, smiling just the way she did in all of those photographs. next my father, waving and saying that he'll return soon. Then Kaosu, and close behind him Shuten Doji. Then a short while after them Luna. I yell at them to come back, but they still dont listen. The train whistle blows and the skull faced man yells "all aboard" and i scream and scram, but they all leave. . .everyone leaves me, and I wake up all alone.
I never actually meant for any of this to happen, I didn't want to become so weak and pathetic, but there's just so much hatred in this world,and so many people and things are always dying and leaving, and then you are all alone. And when you're alone things hurt a whole lot more. I had to go somewhere to get away from it. i dont want to fight anymore, especially seeing where our Yoroi are from. Nothing good can come from that creature Arago. The dreams really started when I returned from africa. They werent so bad then, but they started getting worse and worse, and now there is hardly a night when i can sleep uninterupted. I reach for the handle of my clothing drawer. I suppose I ought to finish writing this before I am too out of it to write. I take my hand away from the drawer. The air is so cold in this room, Nasuti shouldnt keep the air conditioner on at night.
I am not writing this to gain your sympathy or your pity, I only wish to open your eyes to all that is happening around us. This world is cruel by nature, it doesnt care that there are people who try to help others and even the world itself. We should know that better than anyone. We fought so much for this world and the only people who care are ourselves and Jun and Nasuti. Nature would still kill us if it got the chance. People are cruel as well, perhaps nature and humans are a mirror of one another, either way people tease and hurt and kill each other and drive eachother to insanity, and for what reason? There is none. There is absolutely no reason that any of these things should happen, but they do, they happen and they hurt, everything hurts so much, especially when you are one of the ones who actually tries to help things. But even then everyone leaves you, and you are left alone in the darkness with only yourself and whatever memories haunt you. I reach again for the drawer, opening it, taking out a hypodermic needle, and a small bottle. I stick the needle in the bottle cap and pull the blackish liquid into the syringe, I tie the tourniquet to my arm, and insert the needle in the vein, I smile only slightly as the liquid enters my body. I take the needle out and put the devices down. I dont have much longer before I float away from all of the pain, at least for a little while, please excuse the shakyness of the writing earlier. . . please. . . if anyone reads this. . . help me. . . at least. . .help yourself.
Sanada Ryou
I float away now, I dont really care anymore about that whatever it was that I was writing. . . maybe I will later, but that is not a concern at this time. and now I fly away.