The library
I walked through the narrow halls almost silently, the only sound that I made was the sound of my breath, but even that sounded so terribly loud in this place. I shivered, the cold was getting unbearable to me. Or maybe it was just this place, this dark damp castle. I needed sunlight, I needed warmth, but those things had been lost to me so long ago.
When I was young I tried to deny what I am, I tried to hide it behind many different masks, but it always showed through. It was not like other things which can be easily disguised by learning simple human-like gestures. No the problem was in me, not the way I acted or anything else. The ground seemed to shake Anubisu was leaving again. Yes, I could feel the vibrations of his silent footsteps like an earthquake all of my kind can. . . that is if there are any more like me.
I closed my eyes, trying not to concentrate on the noises or the feelings or how hungry I was. I concentrated on only one thought, peace, the only problem was that the thought did not stay long at all. That thought never did. My mind had been so set on power and war and death for years and years, and now I was expected to become a normal person. I was not normal. I could never be normal, there were too many things working against me there, I am not even human.
Once I lost the thought of peace I simply stood there, eyes still closed, allowing all of my thoughts to just run through my head. Memories, when Kayura finally upstaged all of us, the time when I blinded Rekka with the venom from my sword. Then older memories, when I first came to Arago, when I was sent on my first mission, and still older ones, memories of when I was a child. One memory seemed to stand out more than the rest, flashes of sakura, and a woman, and music, sweet music.
"What is it that you are playing?" I asked the woman, as I watched her plucking the strings on a long beautifully carved Koto. My voice seemed to cut very harshly into the music, and I was instantly sorry that I had spoken at all. She hit a final strange note as the sakura petals showered down over the two of us.
"It is simply the song that the koto tells me to play," she said, her voice as sweet as the music. I do not think that I heard her quite all that well, my attention was focused on her beautiful long black hair, and the soft curve of her neck. she scowled at me, and the wind picked up. "What are you?" she asked me, her voice somehow mirroring the wind. My face fell.
"I am simply a man, like any other," I answered using the answer that I always used for the many times I had been asked that question. . . she was so beautiful.
She smiled, not a kind smile, a rather bitter one, but even then her face was more lovely than the cherry blossoms, at least in my mind. "You are not a man, not hardly. You are merely a boy, and a rather odd one at that, tell me from what human you have acquired this mousy green hair, and those pale white eyes?" her words bit into me like thorns.
"I do not know," I told her, my eyes cast downward now, I could not look at that beauty and hear those words simultaneously, it hurt too much. I turned and ran, and as I did so I heard her musical laughter, and the soft plucking of the koto's strings.
I opened my eyes, which it seems were tearing up a tiny bit considering that I had to wipe the dampness away. Then I heard something odd. Music, the same music that I heard so long ago, from the beautiful woman who's image, then so soon after reappearing in my mind, faded away softly into the mist. My vision cleared fully and I looked out into the darkness, out of the window. I saw nothing but the clouds and the terrible silence of this place. We were to make this place beautiful? Why was it still so terrible to look at. I stepped up to the windowsill and then off of it. I felt myself falling and falling.
I did not remember closing my eyes, but I must have because when I opened them I was indoors somewhere, on something soft. . . a couch. I sat up and looked about, there was a soft pale glow coming from the next room, and the sounds of people speaking to one another. I was still too muddled to be able to understand them, then there was the sound of a large animal outside, and a door opening, and screaming, I sprang from my bed and ran to where the noises came from. Nasuti-san, and Seiji-san were standing there by the door, with little Jun clinging to Nasuti-san's leg. I started to walk closer, and the animal outside, which I now recognized to be a wolf, ran away with the speed of the wind. I looked at the three others for a moment almost questioningly. Nasuti-san was the first to speak.
"We found you right outside the door a few hours ago," she said politely, "you were out cold, so we brought you inside, I'm sorry if we have inconvenienced you in any way."
I shook my head slightly and smiled, "no, I thank you," I said, and I meant it. I felt my eyes tearing up a little bit again, but I made them stop, a Masho - an ex Masho rather - does not show such weakness.
Nasuti-san smiled, "Make yourself at home if you want, it's good to see you again. How have things been going at Youjakai?"
My smile faded, "things have been. . . well," I said quietly, I don't think that they detected the sadness in my voice, they were too busy listening to the music that was wafting in, with the cherry blossom smell, through the door.
I know that something is going to happen, I can feel it, My kind can feel things like that quite easily. I don't think I will ever fit in here though, I wish I could, but I am Yamanouchi Naotoki, no I am not even that, I am Doku Masho Naaza, not human, not Naga, only half of each, and there is nothing to be done about that.