Late morning. Early Spring. Warm sunshine. Pretty Sakura Trees. The smell of nature at its finest.

I like this day.

I appreciate this day as I stroll to the forest. I appreciate life, always appreciated the little things.

I smile as I recall this morning. I had visited her again and at each moment that I am near her, I know that my life is complete. I know that I am blessed.

A squirrel on the branch of a maple tree stares at me and I couldn't resist the urge to smile. Perhaps that squirrel was smiling back at me; laughing at my oddness perhaps. I huff in amusement. How she have changed me. No longer am I the tough guy, the macho guy. Now I have discovered my soft side...my loving side. Her...

She had changed my life.

The scent of flowers fills the air and I find myself at awe with their beauty once again. I am captivated by these simple things. They are simple, like her, yet they can move mountains...make us remember and appreciate them...those little things that we often forget...we often neglect.

I stop, breathing in the pine scent of the trees nearby. I wish this season would never end.

Spring is often associated with life. It is where life begins to flourish once again after the coldness of winter.

A splash wakes me up from my daydreaming and I realize that I'm now near a lake that was located not so far away from the temple of Genkai. I shift my gaze and my eyes widen as blood rushes to my face.

A familiar figure was on the shallow end of the lake, bare, eyes closed.

I tear my eyes away quickly from the scene. It disturbs me yet in a way amazes me. Amazes me?

Slowly, I turn the direction of my sight at the figure again.

I give out an inaudible snort. How amusing that he could look this serene, this peaceful, this innocent and this vulnerable all at once, instantly making me forget all the other things about him.

I watch him in silence as he just stands there, eyes still closed. I don't know why I haven't left but I don't know. Something about him right now just prevents me from leaving. It is at this rare time that I can get to see him at this state.

He is pretty. Cute. Even if he is a boy...

Ch! I feel like a hentai, watching a teammate like this. Why am I still here?

I look up to the blue blue sky and sigh. With caution, I turn to look at him again.

He really is beautiful especially at his natural state. His well developed muscles play against his smooth, pale skin as the water gives him a wet look, kinda well...nice. Nice?

Since when have I started having interest in boys? And in Hiei no less!

He starts to move against the water and I panic. What if he sees me? Damn, I should hide!

I sigh as I see that his eyes remain closed. He trudges towards the deeper end and finally lets his slender body float as he swam in a kind of serenity that I have never witnessed before. I am in awe yet again.

A grin is on my face as I watch him still, not tearing my gaze away. I don't know why but I admire him. I don't know how. I don't know why.

[Flashback]

We were up against some youkai thieves who had stolen some Reikai artifacts. We had fought a hard battle and won. It was a glorious day as we began our journey back towards Ningenkai.

Everything was going fine until one of the thieves had suddenly come up from behind us and had injured Hiei pretty badly. The youkai had just focussed his attentions on the fire demon and had stopped right away after he had damaged the young youkai.

Hiei had stood up right away, trying to mask the pain on his skin even as we all knew that it hurt a lot, judging by all the blood that was seeping out of him. A huge gash was on his right shoulder and he was half naked, the open cuts on his back visible as red warm liquid was seeping out slowly. His pants was in tatters, barely still clothing him as his legs were filled with bruises and other wounds.

Still, he glared in defiance at our enemy who was now looking intently at him. I don't know how he got that courage of his' but I sure respect that. In fact, even though I don't say it much, I've always had this silent respect for him and it really doesn't matter if he respects me or not.

I stare in confusion at the stand-off between Hiei and the youkai. The youkai was a half-toushin and a half air demon. He was as tall as me and there was a certain air around him that really makes you think twice of crossing his path. His deep blue eyes were menacing as a glare of half amusement was directed to our full-blooded youkai teammate.

"We meet again, child." the youkai said as a breeze suddenly flowed around the both of them, his long bluish black hair moving around his somewhat handsome face.

Hiei didn't answer.

"What do you want from him?" one of our other teammates demanded.

The youkai turned the direction of his gaze at us and smiled. His smile...it is so malicious and even slightly sickening. I don't know why he suddenly is like that. He faced the fire demon again and whispered something that was inaudible to my ears as another breeze distorts my concentration.

Then he vanished and Hiei's eyes widen slightly before it comes back to its' natural size again.

I sigh as I can sense that trouble had left us finally...but then stopped.

Hiei had clutched his heart. He was breathing raggedly and I knew that at that moment, he was terrified as he had begun to tremble. Then he sank to his knees in silence and looked up. I can sense his sea of desperation. He is in torment. I have never seen this part of him before.

We all rush by his side, each one trying to comfort our fallen teammate, intent of helping.

The small youkai just stands back up, his head bowed and ignores us as if nothing had happened to him. He is now starting his way back again towards the Ningenkai.

He may not show it but I can feel it. The pain living inside of him is worse than any other pain I had witnessed before. There is a dying, battered and crying child inside of him...the part of him that was hidden, kept locked as it may just cause him more pain.

He is wrong. Why does he not release all that? It's eating him up inside. Why does he choose to ignore it? Why?

No more word is spoken as we journey back towards Ningenkai. We had stopped just once to fix up our wounds and finally, we had arrived.

Hiei was about to flit away once again when I stopped him, surprising him as well. "Hiei, what happened back there?"

He gives me that familiar look directed only at me. "What do you care?"

I roll my eyes. He could be such an idiot at times. "Because I want to."

I expect a snort and a gruff reply before he flits away but am surprised that I don't see nor hear one. He looks at the ground in silence. "He is an acquaintance from the early part of my life. He had said something that had triggered back my old memories. Memories I had chosen to forget...I had forced to get out of my head because..."

"It hurt too much." I continue for him. I hadn't expected that and he hadn't either. Funny how we could be at peace at this moment.

He stares at me for a while then moves to flit away. I know that he thinks that I have seen too much, that I have witnessed too much. He doesn't know this but because of that incident, I am now beginning to understand him. Perhaps he had become who he is because of his cruel fate. It's not his fault.

I am startled as he pauses shortly to say a word.

"Sayonara."

[End of Flashback]

I gaze back at the small familiar figure in the lake. He was now back in the shallow end, his back facing me and I only see a portion of his face. His eyes are now open but he is just staring blankly at the trees in front of him. I don't know if he saw me but somehow, I'm wishing that he didn't. It would just complicate things.

But then...

I know he is longing for someone...anyone...to save his soul, perhaps make him feel how it is to be alive. He had been hurt too many times and it's time for his pain to end.

I bow my head. I can't do that....

Because of her.

Because I love her.

But then, do I love him too? I do care for him and since the day that I had realized that he really wasn't the asshole that I had always viewed him to be, I had sworn that no harm will ever come to him again. I swore that straight from the heart for friendship, brotherhood and...other things.

He needs someone but no one goes to him. I know he won't just go up to anyone and ask for a little love, a little understanding. He pushes people away before they hurt him.

I wish I could do anything. It stopped to matter that he is male. I am a male yet I care for him. Perhaps because there are just a few people who care about him. Each of those people are precious since they have cared for a forbidden child. Perhaps their hearts are pure.

But Hiei...

His heart is just too pained...too broken. A plea escapes my lips as I whisper something to the heavens. Please...let him heal. Each being deserves to live. I had experienced life. I'm hoping he would too. Please.

A bitter grin touches my lips. Experienced life...

Because of her.

She is my inspiration...my dream...my treasure...

But he is a treasure too. A hidden and well kept treasure. I have found it yet I can not take it. I can look at him yet I can't touch him.

I'm hoping someone realizes this soon enough. For his sake...

I walk away from the peaceful display of my comrade. I feel as if I had offended him in a way...that I have wronged him by taking a peek at his soul...at a part of him that's considered sacred.

He's always said that I was a fool. I now know that he had always been correct.

A squirrel looks me in the eye once again. Perhaps that look is more of pity than of happiness. Pity. Pity for me?

I sigh as I head towards home. Pity...for me. How foolish I am! And how dumb!

I fell in love with twins. I fell in love with the forbidden children.
 

~owari~