The world is changing. It's crying. It's becoming more cruel with each passing second. Humans dance to evil music; they do so many things that I despise. I hate humans...such an irony perhaps since I am part of that race - since I too am one of those filthy creatures. A human...

Amidst the starlit night, the cold winds blowing against my body, I look up to the heavens...and see the moon. It looks so white tonight, reminding me of the white-washed tombs of the dead. And at that, I feel so small. The moon looked so big, so unconquerable as it brought me to a realm of temporary peace...

That word - peace. That was something that I knew would never really come back to me. It was a state of calm that had been present once in my life but had never echoed back to me again. Such a shame perhaps, since I am one of the humans who actually deserve something. I am not one of those stained with blood, eating at youkai hearts as if they were as sweet as honey. Instead, I am a being that would fight to right the wrongs of this world - proudly as a sentinel of Sensui.

"Mitarai." A deep voice called out from my back, almost causing me to smile bitterly. He too was a soldier - like me. We would be freeing the captives from the other world. We would do what we believe is right.

Finally, I turned to look at him.

He was just standing there, as I was, in front of the cave where the gate to Makai was being opened. His head was tilted up as he looked at the dark night, his face suddenly marred with a soft expression as the moonbeams played at his delicate features.

"Hagiri, what are you doing out here?"

He didn't look at me, but his expressions disappeared suddenly, showing the Hagiri Kaname that I knew again - the expressionless young man with cold eyes and a spirit that refused to be dwindled. He was a strong being, I admit, as he had managed to live without such weaknesses that other humans most often displayed. And I admire that...I guess.

Finally, he looked me in the eye, his dark eyes burning with a flame that I had never witnessed before nor expected. "We are but creatures used, Mitarai. Have you ever realized that?"

My brows knitted in confusion. He's speaking to me? And speaking to me about something kind of personal for once? I didn't know what to say. Were we what he claimed to be?

"I see you don't understand yet." he says, finally looking away, his gaze again focussing on the heavens. "I will explain if you want."

"H-hai." I nod uneasily, not really knowing if I should hear what he has to say or not. I have witnessed too much in such a short life that sometimes I wonder if I'm still alive despite the chaos. Sometimes it's just too much. And at other times, it was numbing to my humanity - which ironically enough, just leads to more pain.

"We are born into this world weak. We live then we die. In our life, we do some things that will affect the future...some things that are either right or wrong." He pauses before turning his intense eyes at me. "But what is right and what is wrong?"

I do not answer as I just gazed back at him. I do not have the answer to such a question so complicated as that. In fact, I don't think anyone had ever owned the key to answer that query.

"I do this for myself and for what I believe in. How about you, Mitarai?"

"I...I also do it because I believe in Sensui's vision."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "You do it because of Sensui's vision? Then you're just another follower then. You do not know how it is to judge. You only follow despite your ignorance of the truth. You do not care about what is right or wrong." He smirked. "In short, you're just a puppet."

I snarled furiously at him, very much insulted with his remark. "You do not know me, Hagiri! You never did know me! You have no right to judge me!"

He chuckled suddenly, very much amused. I don't know why he finds joy in this. I've never understood him, I guess.

After a few seconds, he stops and looks at me once again, an unexpectedly kind smile on his lips. "I only said that because we're the same, Mitarai. I too was once like you long ago. But I had changed. I know that what I'm doing right now is neither right nor wrong. The answers only come out in the end. But I do have a right to believe in something and this is my choice. It's just a matter of choosing sides."

I stare then blink. Never had I thought that he would open himself this much to me. I had never expected this. "Why is that Kaname-kun?"

He frowns suddenly, his head bowed as his hair obstructs my eyes from seeing the expressions on his face.

"Imagine a baby's cradle. White. Pure. Full of innocence." he says, pausing for a short while. "Then imagine it splattered with blood. What do you see?"

Sadness. And Hate. Those are the things that I see. "I see-"

"Innocence gone, right?" he asks me, preventing me from speaking my mind. But he is correct I admit as I envision a little baby's cradle rocking back and forth gently, in a white room with white satin curtains and the smell of a sweet aromatic scent all around. So peaceful...

"Blood gushes forth from greed, from the cruelty of humans. Imagine the walls covered with a crimson liquid, the same thing that represents life...or in this case, death. The cradle is still swaying but now more violently as you hear the infant's desperate cry. He is calling out. He wants your help..."

There is a long pause as I stare at his bowed head. He is telling me something that I must understand. I think he is telling me of his own sad life, depicted by a story, created from the imagination.

He looks up finally and for once, I see sadness in his eyes. "Then the crying stops."

I stare, trying to comprehend the implications of those four words. Then the crying stops...

Had it meant that the child was saved or killed? What was the answer?

As I stared at the ground, I barely noticed that he was walking towards me, slowly, as if stalking a prey. I look up with a questioning gaze. He simply smiles before leaning down and putting his lips against mine, closing his eyes as I did too - us two boys hiding from the cruelty of the world that surrounded us. It was a kiss that though I didn't understand, liked for its comfort. At least I'm not alone at the moment.

Our lips move gently as our tongues play with each other, both trying to do the agression, both satisfied. His lips are so soft and so sweet and I feel like surrendering to his touch...

It is a moment worth remembering perhaps as we kissed under the moon, under the stars, surrounded by nature.

Then after a while, he pulls back and looks at me, still with the kind of smile that he had graciously given me earlier, though his lips were now swollen. He turns around and heads to go back to the cave...

And pauses, looking back before walking again. "I just wanted to tell you that you still have a choice, Mitarai. Use it wisely."
 

Days turned to weeks and we began putting Sensui's plans into reality. Slowly, we progressed and were nearing success. And one rainy night, it was my turn to do what was needed to be done.

Sensui was still inside, discussing some things with Itsuki while I waited for him near the mouth of the cave, ready to do my duty.

"Mitarai." A deep voice called out from my back. I didn't have to turn around. I knew who it was.

"Hagiri, what are you doing out here?"

He turned me around gently and looked deep within my eyes. There were so many things waiting to be said but he keeps his silence. He smiles again - the smile that he had only directed at me, before kissing me once again.

We did not have a relationship. In fact, we barely even talked. But each time we did, it had always been meaningful. There was always care mixed deep within - if I'm not mistaken.

He looked at me with no clear emotion as our second kiss ended. "Mitarai..."

"Hagiri?"

"Mitarai, you allow me to kiss you." he says as if he had just noticed that fact right now.

I smile. "As you allow me to kiss you back."

He grins suddenly, another unexpected gesture on his features. He's sometimes so mysterious but at times, not. It was like he was a snow globe, sometimes hard to define, other times, so simple to comprehend. I wanted to say a lot of things...so many things...

"Are you ready, Mitarai?" the deep, familiar voice of Sensui asked as he slowly approached us. He expected me to get rid of that worthless human tonight - the one they called Kuwabara - for being such a weakling. And I expected to win as Hagiri probably did too.

Hagiri suddenly looked at me. "That kiss...will there be a third time?"

I was about to answer when Sensui had arrived. I just grin at Hagiri, a promise that I will at least return for another kiss. Perhaps even more.

Sensui opened an umbrella and passed by us in silence walking to the outside. I looked at Hagiri once more. He now looked expressionless.

"You still have a choice." he said before putting his hands on the pockets of his jacket and turning around to go back inside. And I smile, knowing my choice even before the question had been presented.
 

to be continued...