"Live from China, it is the Fushigi Yuugi New Year's Eve Countdown. With our hosts, Yuuki Miaka and Tamahome!!"
(Lots of loud cheering. Tamahome and Miaka comes out.)
Miaka: Hello, minna! We're very happy that you could join us for our New Year's Eve party.
Tamahome: And for an extra 50 gold ryu, I'll beat up your enemy right before the New Year starts! (Tamahome is whacked by Miaka)
Miaka: It's now 11:30 with 30 minutes to go. Let's go to the party...
(Curtains open)
Miaka: Look, there's the Suzaku Shichi Seishi and the Seiryuu Shichi Seishi. As you can see, there are decorations everywhere in this room with streamers, balloons, and banners.
Tamahome: There's also plenty of champagne, noise makers, and a buffet table.
Miaka: Buffet table? Yogada!! (ZOOM! Only little clouds of dust remain where she was)
Tamahome: (looking around for her) Mi-Miaka?
Miaka: ITADAKIMASU!!! (She begins stuffing everything into her mouth)
(Tomo whispers something to Tamahome)
Tamahome: 70 gold ryu to beat up Soi! Jaa ne~ (He leaves)
"Okay...well, since our hosts are indespensible at the moment, let's just skip this whole narration and tell you everything that is happening in an easy to understand manner."
Nakago: You beat up Soi!! You--
Tomo: I made Tamahome do it. It's all for you, Nakago. So, we can finally be together.
Nakago: You, Tamahome...you're...you're...perfect!! (He grabs Tamahome and kisses him)
Tamahome: (pulls away) UGH!!! Gomen, but I'm more interested in girls.
Nakago: But I'm beautiful like a girl.
Tamahome: You're too flat for me.
Tomo: ACCCCKKK! Ta-Tamahome!! Now what do I do?
Tamahome: Give me 100 gold ryu and I'll beat myself up.
Tomo: 70 gold ryu.
Tamahome: 95 gold ryu.
Tomo: 80 gold ryu.
Nakago: 100 gold ryu! If you beat up Tomo.
Tamahome: Done! (Tomo is last seen flying over the moon)
Nakago: Now we can be alone...(He grabs Tamahome)
Tamahome: Yamete!
Nakago: Nani?
Tamahome: I have my rates! You have to give me 2,000 gold ryu to spend New Year's Eve with you.
Nakago: 2,000 gold ryu?! 1,000 gold ryu!
Tamahome: 1,999 gold ryu.
Nakago: 1,500 gold ryu.
Tamahome: 1,998 gold ryu...
Nuriko: Amiboshi! Stop that racket!!! (Grabs the flute away)
Amiboshi: I just wanted to play a song for Heiga-sama!
Nuriko: Get away from Hotohori-sama! I got dibs on him first!
Mitsukake: You're very popular among guys, Heiga.
Hotohori: Well, what can you expect? My disposition is noble and manly. I'm too beautiful for words, with my large, nicely shaped eyes; long, silky hair and kawaii nose. Plus--
Mitsukake: UGH! Play something, someone!! Haiyaku!!
Nuriko: I'll play! (No need to describe Nuriko's playing...it's well, imagine 10,000 cats screeching...only worse)
Tasuki: (Whacks Nuriko over the end with his fan) Yamete! That was @!*^ing awful!
Miaka: Tasuki!
Tasuki: Nani, Miaka?
Miaka: This food is too cold!! LEKKA SHIEN it, please!
Tasuki: BAKA! Do I look like a cook?
Miboshi: This is boring. Come on, Ashitare, let's go for a walk.
Ashitare: Can you wear the collar this time?...
Suboshi: Yui...for the New Year's Eve Countdown, there's a kiss right at midnight...do you think? (Face turns very red and he looks at the floor)
Yui: Of course I can think! Who do you think I am, Soi? (She uppercuts Suboshi)...
Chiriko: Chichiri-sama!
Tama: Meow!
Chiriko: Ah, gomen, Tama. I thought you were Chirchiri-sama!
Nakago: Here I am!
Chiriko: AHHHHHHHHH! (THUD!)
Nakago: (POOF!)
Chichiri: Ano, he fainted! I think I scared him too much, no da!...
"Now that you've got a basic idea of the party, let's just skip to the part everyone wanted to see/hear/read in the first place, the midnight kiss!!^_^ *tee hee*"
"5, 4, 3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!"
-Amiboshi finally wrestled his flute from Nuriko and was playing "Auld Lang Syne"
-Nuriko grabbed a very astonished Hotohori, dipped him in his arms, and pressed a passionate, not exactly what one has in mind for a New Year's kiss on his lips. (The kiss also lasted longer than would be expected for a New Year's Eve kiss)
-Miboshi and Ashitare never returned to the party on time for the countdown. Ashitare licked the side of Miboshi's face and happened to be photographed by an anonymous source. The next day, the headlines of supermarket tabloids read 'Wolfman and the 3-Eyed Boy Exchange Love and Affection during the New Year'
-Tomo was still flying over the moon...I think...
-Suboshi recovered from the uppercut given to him by Yui but found her making out with Tetsuya (when did he appear?)
-Mitsukake and Tama shared a heart-warming pet and owner moment.
-Chiriko was so shocked by Chichiri posing as Nakago, that Chichiri ended up having to give mouth-to-mouth to him. (Don't ask me why!) I guess, it's kinda like a kiss.
-Nakago was just about to press a kiss on Tamahome's lips when Tamahome pushed him away, said "Sorry! Kisses aren't included in the package", and ran to Miaka who thankfully had no food in her mouth when he kissed her.
-Don't feel too bad for Nakago though because Soi woke up from Tamahome's beating and managed to press a firm, assertive kiss on Nakago's lips that almost made him forget about Tamahome. (Almost.)
-Tasuki leaned against the wall, thoroughly disgusted. "I hate this part! When do we get to get drunk?"
© 1997 chen@kwic.com
