Disclaimer: Aw, c'mon -- you guys should know by now the standard disclaimer! If you don't, here it is once again: all the characters here except for a few are video game characters and belong to their respective game companies. This story isn't being used to make money, so I hopefully won't get sued. ^_^
Started: November 14, 1999
Finished: December 29, 1999

"Hurry!! Hurry, Elena, hurry!!"

Elena ran out of the cafeteria and down the corridor, turning sharply to enter a storage room. She grabbed a small box and was again running, this time towards the cafeteria. As she ran, she opened the box and dumped the contents on the table where her fellow Turks were running about.

"Good work!" exclaimed Tseng, smiling briefly at her as he picked up a few playing cards, the contents of the box Elena had gotten. He looked over to where Reno and Rude were holding down a ladder next to their card building. "Be careful, you two! We don't want this one to fall!"

"Don't remind me!" Reno shouted as he steadied the ladder. "We had that other one at seven feet before Gremio lost his marbles and demolished it. . ."

Rufus Shinra frowned from where he, Gremio, and Peco were eating. "We heard that, Reno," he said sharply.

"It's true, though," Reno sniffed. "Okay, Elena, start climbing!"

The female Turk blinked. "You've got to be kidding me!" she exclaimed. "I mean, it's not that high, but. . ." She looked warily at the ladder Reno and Rude were holding. "I don't trust you two and that ladder. . ."

"Aww, don't be a chicken-wuss!" the red-haired Turk said.

Rude promptly whapped his best friend over the head. "No FF8 references," he said sternly. "Especially about Zell. Do you want him to come and beat the crap out of you?"

"Ah, I'm tougher than him," Reno replied smoothly. "He can't dish out anything I can't handle."

"Is that so?" came a familiar voice from a blond-haired male behind Reno.

Reno spun to face the speaker, eyes wide in horror. When he saw who it was, however, he sighed and allowed his eyes to return to their normal position. "Oh. . . It's just you, Cloud. . ." He frowned. "Geez, don't scare me like that!" Cloud Strife shrugged in response, annoying Reno a bit. "What are you still doing here, anyway? I thought you'd be back on Planet already!"

"Sephiroth wanted me to stick around," Cloud explained. "He said he'd rather have me around than Flik any day of the week, plus some."

"Heh heh," Leon Magnus chuckled, overhearing the conversation from where he sat with Nash and Teepo. "A major insult on Flik there."

Tseng was starting to get impatient. "Is someone going to start climbing or not?"

"Hey, don't look at me," Reno said. "Rude and I are holding the ladder."

"Actually, Reno . . . I think I can hold the ladder alone," his partner started.

"No way!" At the thought of climbing that ladder, Reno traded his smile for a gasp of horror.

"I think I can."

"You heard him, Reno!" laughed Elena. "Get climbing!"

Reno muttered something obscene and snatched the cards off the table, stuffing them in his pocket before beginning his climb up to the top of the twelve foot house of cards.

"That puppet is always late. . .," Sephiroth muttered as he waited at the library's entrance, fingering Masamune's blade. "No wonder he's a failed clone. . ."

"Hey, Sephiroth," greeted Flik, waving as he approached. "What are you doing here?"

Sephiroth looked evenly at Flik. He hadn't annoyed him. Yet. But Flik was like a game of baseball; there were so many ways to end an inning. "None of your business."

"We work in this place together," Flik reminded him. "I have every right to know what you're doing here."

The silver-haired ex-SOLDIER glanced away, still holding Masamune. ". . . I'm waiting for Cloud."

"For what?"

His Mako eyes narrowed slightly. Strike one. "A duel."

"You plan to duel him??"

Foul. "Yes."

"Oh. . ." Flik looked away. ". . . So, how are you?"

Ball one. ". . . I'm fine."

Flik leaned against the wall and looked around. "Is this how you always spend your cafeteria time or what?"

Ball two. "Not all the time, no."

"Hnn. . . Well, you think Cloud's gonna beat you?"

Foul. "Of course not. That puppet can't beat me."

"Well, from what I've heard from everyone else, you lost to him. Twice."

Strike two. His frown deepened. "He was lucky on both occasions. He can't win in a real battle."

"Oh, I beg to differ. . ."

Strike three. "You're out."

Flik blinked in confusion, looking at Sephiroth in surprise. "What?"

Sephiroth was quickly advancing on him, Masamune sliding into its sheathe. "You're out."

The younger man could only continue to stare as Sephiroth grabbed hold of his neck. . .

Cloud's eyes widened in surprise as he watched Flik go flying out of the library, landing head first on the ground. He walked over to the man four years older than him and looked down upon him, watching as he slowly raised his head. "What happened?" he queried, very little concern in his voice.

"Ugh. . . Sephiroth. . ." Flik groaned and fell over again.

Shaking his head, Cloud went into the library's entrance to see Sephiroth leaning against a wall. "Playing baseball again, Sephiroth?" he queried.

"Flik annoys me so much he actually deserved that," the other man snorted, his aqua-colored Mako eyes falling on him. "You're late."

"I'd apologize, but you wouldn't take it," Cloud said with a shrug. He slid Ultima Weapon off his back and fell into a battle stance. "Are you ready?"

Sephiroth smirked, bringing out Masamune with practiced ease. "I've been ready for a long time." He fell into the stance he was so famous, his longsword parallel with the ground. "I've waited a long time for this."

Cloud let out a short laugh. "Same here."

And with that, their third duel began.

". . . Okay, so now that you've got a house-- building of cards twenty feet high," Athena began, looking up at the unbelievably tall card structure, "what do you plan to do?"

Tseng frowned as he stood next to the girl. "Well, we'd like to keep building it, to see how far we can go before it falls, but. . ."

"But?"

Reno slid over to them and put his hands behind his head. ". . . But the building'll be too high, then," he explained. "We'd have to take off the roof of the cafeteria to continue building."

Athena inhaled sharply. "No way. I'm not letting you guys take the roof off here!"

"Oh, c'mon, 'thena!" Reno said. "It's not like there's ever rain here! Heck -- there's never weather here! There's no harm to it!"

"Please, Athena," Tseng pleaded, which caused Athena to take a step back involuntarily. "We have to keep building this thing!"

"I . . . well, I don't know why I'm doing this, but. . ." She trailed off. "Okay." Tseng and Reno gave each other a high-five, and Athena sighed. "You'll have to wait, though. I've gotta call in my friend to help me write out the roof."

". . . Your friend?" The two Turks traded horrified looks, but Tseng managed to speak. "Not Jen or Kira again. . .?"

A sweatdrop slid over Athena's head as she remembered all the havoc the three of them had caused. "No. . ." She grinned suddenly. "Don't worry; he's not that bad. He's one of my real friends off the internet. He's a writer too."

". . . Uh-oh." Reno's face paled. "Don't tell me it's. . ."

"His name's Zach."

Reno promptly ran away, screaming.

". . . A fanatic over different types of magic?" Nash repeated, staring at Rufus strangely. The older man was describing Athena's friend, whom he, Reno, and Leon had had the "misfortune" of meeting several times in the past, to him and Teepo. The Turks were trying to calm Reno down, and Gremio was off playing with Peco. Sephiroth, Vincent, Flik, and Cloud were nowhere to be found. "There's really such a thing?"

"Apparently so," was the white-garbed man's reply. "He makes up his own magic and tries to blow me up with them. He also did that with Reno, if I remember correctly. I'd say that he doesn't like me, but Athena tells me he likes me and Reno."

Teepo winced as he heard that. "Really? I'd hate to see what he does to people he doesn't like."

"He's not as bad as Athena, though," Leon said. He had sometimes been around when Athena and Zach had exchanged e-mails. "One day, she cast Demon's Lance on me just because she was angry that I died in Tales of Destiny."

Sweatdrops lined Teepo and Nash's heads as they tried to picture Leon getting struck by a magical javelin thrown from above. "Eep. . . Uh. . ." Nash looked around warily. "Does she get mad like that often?"

"Thankfully, no," came another voice, "but I may get angry now, as it's not very nice to talk about people when they're not around."

The four looked up in shock, seeing Athena looking at them evenly. "Umm, sorry, Athena," apologized Nash. "But . . . uh, I think we should know how angry you can get."

Athena laughed. "So that you can be sure not to make me too angry?" she queried. "Well, if that's it, then I'll tell you. . . When I get really angry, I have a tendency of doing drastic things to stuff I'm writing about."

All four swallowed hard. "Such as. . .?" Leon whispered, almost dreading the answer.

"Oh, well. . ." Athena stopped to think. "My story Merging Journeys began when I got angry at Rufus and Tseng for dying in the game."

Again, sweatdrops appeared, and Rufus just barely managed to keep his twitching hand from yanking the sweatdrop out of his hair. The sweatdrop let out a sigh of relief and resumed sweatdropping.

He was blindfolded, and being led by one of his closest friends to somewhere he couldn't see. This wouldn't have been bad, but the knowledge of knowing this friend could make kingdoms crumble and worlds collapse wasn't exactly comforting. "Uh . . . where are we heading, Athena?"

"Don't worry, Zach. You'll know when we get there." They walked a bit longer before stopping. "Okay, you can take the blindfold off now."

Zach consented and blinked, blue eyes widening in shock as he realized where he was. He looked at the short, black-haired girl beside him. "The Edge of Sanity??" he gasped. "What are we doing on your site?"

"I need your help removing the cafeteria roof for the Turks."

The first sign of becoming a part of a Coffee Break, a sweatdrop forming on the brow, could be seen on the tall blond. ". . . I won't ask."

"Good. . . It's safer that way," breathed Athena.

At that statement, a blond taller than Zach by about half a foot ran into the area. "I heard my name!" he growled, looking at the girl with a frown.

Athena was startled, to say the least. "I didn't say your name! Get outta here before Rufus sees you!!" she ordered.

The young man gave her an annoyed look. "I don't see why I'm listening to you, but. . ." Shaking his head, he dashed off The Edge of Sanity in a flash.

Zach stared. ". . . . . Who was that?" he queried.

". . . Don't ask."

Several members of TEOS' staff appeared, exiting their work stations. Zach looked at the group, remembering how often he had laughed at their escapades while reading other fanfics and Coffee Breaks. Now, however, he was nervous in front of the large group. "Is this your friend, Athena?" asked the only female of the group, who wore a blue suit and stood next to three other blue-suited people.

"Yup!" Athena squared her shoulders and cleared her throat. "Let me introduce you to everyone. Everyone, meet my good friend, Zach." He wove nervously, not trusting his lips at the moment. "I'm sure you know everyone, Zach, but just so you're sure. . . Those are the other Turks in blue . . . Elena, Rude, and their leader, Tseng. In green over there is Gremio, who's holding Peco, and right next to him is Flik. Over there in red is Vincent, and you know who Sephiroth and Cloud are, and the two weirdos over there are Nash and Teepo." She laughed when the two said people started going red in the face. "And you know--"

"Rufus, Reno, and Leon." Zach finally managed to speak, looking at the two tall men and the teenage swordsman. Rufus had his arms crossed, Reno tried to look normal, and Leon didn't look especially happy. "Uh . . . nice to see you guys."

"Hmph." Leon rolled his eyes. "Don't pull that silly look with us, Zach. We know what you're really like."

"Yeah . . . merciless and insane," Reno agreed.

"Either that, or influenced by Athena," Rufus added.

Sweatdrops appeared on Zach and Athena's heads. "Get along, you guys!" scolded Athena. "Remember, Reno, we're going to be writing out the roof for you guys, so you better be nice."

"I'm starting to think this was a bad idea. . .," muttered the red-haired Turk.

Leon's eyebrow shot up. "Just starting?" he queried.

". . . . . . . ." Reno sighed. When in doubt, it was best to act like Rude.

"So . . . how do we write out the roof?" Zach asked as soon as he and Athena had gotten away from her staff.

"Tile by tile, sadly," sighed Athena. "I'd write out the whole roof at once, but it might either disrupt the Turks' house of cards or cause The Edge of Sanity to explode."

". . . . . What?"

"You know. Boom. Goodbye. See ya later. Blown to kingdom come."

Zach stared at her.

". . . You want to know why?" she guessed. "Well . . . uh. . . Don't ask me why. That's just the way it is. Besides, my laptop sucks at deleting big files."

"Oh."

Rufus shook his head as he watched the Turks construct a fence around their card building. "You guys are taking this card building thing too seriously," he remarked, crossing his arms.

"Well, you take your hair too seriously," Reno said.

"You take your clothing too seriously," Elena agreed.

". . . You take the comparison between you and Seifer too seriously," Rude added.

". . . And, worst of all," Tseng concluded, "you take these three too seriously."

Rufus' eyes were twitching. One hand went through his perfect blond hair, another brushing over his white jacket. Then, together, his hands went under his trenchcoat and pulled out the gunblade he had taken from the set of FF8 sometime ago. "I'll give you three five seconds," he hissed, "then . . . I mutilate you so badly that your mothers cry when they see your bodies."

The three Turks looked at each other, then at Tseng, who shrugged, then ran away at full speed, screaming all the while. Rufus counted to five outloud, then went after them. Tseng sighed. "Gremio, Flik," he called, "can you guys help me get this fence up? I have a feeling Rufus will be bringing back my Turks in ashtrays."

"Okay. . . Start typing!"

"W-- wait! I can't type that fast!"

"At least try!!"

The two writers' fingers typed stupid, insane things on their laptops, watching as letters in Times New Roman, Tahoma, Garamonde, Wide Latin, Desdemona, Courier, and Helvetica jumbled together at the top of the ceiling. Once the whole ceiling was covered, the two stopped. "Okay," Athena started, "now, go into extend mode and highlight the whole document."

". . . Huh?" Zach blinked. He was just a little slow with word processing terms.

". . . . . . Hold down shift and go back over that mess of words," explained the girl.

"Oh." He did just that.

"Now, press delete."

They did so at the same time . . . and TEOS exploded.

"Now, press delete."

They did so at the same time . . . and the letters began to shake. Both teenagers looked up expectantly, eyes widening when they saw the letters beginning to fall. Before they knew it, they were utterly overwhelmed by a slsdgasebklajdkfjalsdf "word" and squished.

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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Okay, that didn't happen either.

"Now, press delete."

They did so at the same time . . . and the letters began to shake. Both teenagers looked up expectantly, eyes widening when they saw the letters beginning to fall. "Great. . .," mumbled Zach, stepping away from his laptop just as it was crushed under letters. "Aw, #&(%. . ."

". . . Don't worry; that can be replaced," Athena sighed, dodging falling letters of different sizes and fonts. "Right now, I think we should get out of here. . ."

They ran, ducking behind tables when the larger letters and "words" came falling down on them. Several cafeteria tables shattered as they made it out, panting heavily as if they had just escaped a war zone. Perhaps they had.

"What's going on over here. . .?" queried Vincent as he walked into view behind them. ". . . Athena, what did you do?"

"Umm. . ."

Vincent shook his head at Athena's response, then remarked, ". . . At least the Turks' card building is okay."

Zach looked back into the cafeteria, noticing the roof and fencing around the card building. A large sweatdrop formed on his head. "They really love that building, don't they?"

Athena didn't bother looking at Zach as she replied. "That's such a silly question I won't bother answering it."

Author's note: This is getting out of hand. I'm ending this story as soon as possible.

Athena, Zach, and Vincent walked back to the index of TEOS to where the others of Athena's staff were waiting. Rude, covered in bandages, sat in a wheelchair, Reno leaned against a crutch with a neck brace, and Elena had a bandage wrapped around her head. Gremio was fussing over each one of them, shaking his head as he applied band-aids everywhere. The others were silently watching.

"Uh . . . what happened?" asked Zach.

Tseng sighed and approached from the link that led to his Links page. "Rufus happened," he replied. "These three decided to make fun of him."

". . . . How?" That question came from Vincent.

"I made fun of his hair," muttered Reno.

Athena winced. "Oooh, that's lethal."

Elena was popping aspirin, like Rufus and Cid did some time back. "I made fun of his clothing."

"Did you have a death wish??" gasped the webmistress, shaking her head at Elena.

Rude came last. ". . . I made fun of him being compared to Seifer."

There was a long, disturbing silence after Rude's confession. Then. . .

"ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY CRAZY!?!??!"

Everyone backed away quickly from Athena, who was practically boiling over. Rude, of all things, began to whimper. "I'm sorry. . . I'm so sorry. . .," he apologized.

"With that kind of remark, I'm surprised Rufus didn't KILL you!!" Athena went on. "You should have known better, Rude!"

"I know, I know. . ." Rude sounded ready to cry, which triggered sweatdrops on the onlookers.

Just then, Vincent's PHS (Party Henshin System, for those that never knew *_*) came to life. He answered it. "Hey, Vincent!" It was Cloud. "We just saw Rufus leaving The Edge. Should we pursue?"

". . . You sound like a cop out of some sorry old movie," Vincent remarked.

"Sorry, but it sounded funny. I never get to say anything funny in these Coffee Breaks!" Cloud whined. "It's always Reno getting yelled at or losing at cards, or Rufus being made fun of, or something else! I never do anything!"

". . . . Cloud, you're rambling."

Cloud was quiet for a second, then he went on. "Sorry again. Anyhow, what should we do?! Rufus looked a bit pissed off, because he used that Soul Eater on Flik and ran off."

Vincent relayed this to the others. Athena shook her head, finally calmed down. "Leave him alone. I'm sure he won't hurt anyone. Tell the others to get back here, right away."

As soon as the staff was back together, a familiar man carrying a machine gun came running towards them. He tripped, however, and ended up sprawled in front of them. ". . . Laguna??" Athena gasped. "What are you doing here?"

Laguna Loire jumped to his feet. "I don't know what your friend Rufus is doing," he began, "but he entered the FF8 world and blew up Balamb City's train system!"

The whole TEOS staff looked at one another. "Uh . . . I think he's just letting off some steam," answered Nash. All three of the teenagers, along with Flik and Gremio, had no idea who this guy was, as they weren't up-to-date with the new games out there and hadn't been around when Squall, Rinoa, Zell, and Seifer had tried to take TEOS.

"Letting off some steam!?" repeated Laguna, who had developed from a flat personality to a spirited klutz since his last appearance.

"I suggest you tell Squall and the others to get Balamb Garden flying and land someplace away from there," Leon suggested.

"Where did Rufus get that magic??" was another question from Laguna.

Flik sighed. "He has the Soul Eater from Suikoden. He could level whole cities if he got angry enough, then suck up all the souls in the area."

Laguna's eyes widened in horror. "Uh-- uh-- Then I better get going!!" he gasped. He turned to leave, but again tripped. "Damn! Why do I have to be such a klutz!?"

"Because people wanted someone cute that had a funny flaw to him," explained Athena, "to differ from perfect people that were cute, like Sephiroth." Everyone looked at the ex-SOLDIER, who grinned at her remark.

"Here, I'll go with him," Sephiroth offered. "I'll make sure Rufus doesn't end up hurting himself."

Cloud stepped forward as well. "And I'll make sure Rufus doesn't hurt Sephiroth."

"Stupid puppet," growled Sephiroth, glaring at Cloud.

"Hey!" exclaimed Flik, taking a step towards them. "Am I going to have to come along to make sure you two don't start fighting??"

Sephiroth and Cloud glanced at each other, then said in unison, "NO!" Sephiroth's left fist came up with Cloud's right fist, and they both punched Flik in the face.

Flik flew backwards at the force of their punch. "Ooooooorrrrrrooooooooo--" He smacked into the far wall, silencing him.

The two "rivals" smirked at each other and grabbed Laguna, running off before anyone could speak. Athena sighed. "I'll take Zach home. I think he's had a long day." She looked at her friend, who stared at Flik's prone form blankly. "Gremio, take care of Flik. The rest of you, clean up the cafeteria. Especially you Turks; I don't want you guys working on that building until everything's been fixed."

"Damn!" cursed the Turks simultaneously.

Athena led Zach away, leaving the rest of her cast there. Gremio immediately started helping Flik, Peco at his side. The Turks hobbled towards cafeteria as Leon, Teepo, Nash, and Vincent went ahead. Tseng stopped. "Well, Turks," he began, "are we going to listen to Athena?"

"We really should. . .," Elena trailed off.

"But are we going to?" pressed Tseng.

The three other Turks grinned. "No, sir!" they chimed together. Their card building awaited.