You are now in the presence of the wisest Pokemon of all. It is said that Alakazam has an IQ of over 1000. He has powerful psychic abilities. You may ask Alakazam a question, and he will answer it for you. Answers to questions will be shown on this page, and also returned by e-mail. Alakazam is far too important to answer your question immediately so, you may have to wait a few days for your answer. It can be about anything. It can be about Pokemon, General Knowledge, answers about the true mysteries of life, and even advice on relationships. Alakazam will answer all questions with wisdom, knowledge and truth, and he is not divvy or anything.
Travis Albright asks: My neighbor, Jim, just committed suicide. His family is grieving over his death. My pants are too long. And my bladder is about to explode because it has too much urination in it. What should I do about these problems? Alakazam's Answer is: first of all, go for a pee. sorted, respect due. As for the pants, I don't think it's really possible for pants to be too long. too short maybe, but too long, never. The main problem of course is jim. it's worse than that, he's dead. I would leave it till the family are over the loss before you ask for your judas priest album back. or just let them keep it - they were rubbish anyway. to help them with their loss, you could get them a dog. or some sort of exotic bird like a toucan. Alakazam's Guidance is: or a hamster. yeah, a hamster would do it.
Christian James Moggan asks: Please tell me a way to get a mew on my yellow version gameboy without having to ask one of those people who give you a pokemon on a special day. Please tell me a way? Alakazam's Answer is: Mew's love sugar, so the best thing to do is place some sticky sweets on top of the game boy. its a good idea to camouflage yourself first. eventually a mew should see the sticky sweets, and settle on the gameboy. Then you strike with your butterfly net. This may take a bit of practise. Alakazam's Guidance is: Use quite a big net.
Chuck Mayer asks: Almighty Alakazam, I am 18 years old and I am looking for a girlfriend, what is the youngest I should look for? Alakazam's Answer is: I have contemplated long and extremely hard over this, and there is more than one answer. They say that life begins at 40, so therefore the obvious answer would be 40. If you want to do the wild thing with her, then I believe the legal age is 16. Remember though that the younger she is, the more her parents will hate your guts. Alakazam's Guidance is: Perhaps you should take a vow of abstinence until you are at least 30.
Nick S asks: jntgf,md cytjhgtdujyhgytgyuihbju7yfcvhgjj cdduyjjjhbht 657454['/;oloit7ikjjj:/ Alakazam's Answer is: It is legal if you obtain a licence, but is of very questionable morality. Alakazam's Guidance is: You need to get medical help as soon as possible.
Josef Bares asks: Every time i try to capture some audio through the analog input of my soundcard, there's a quite strong background noise. but it's not the dc humm on 50/100 Hz, it's more broadband, mostly in the area of high frequencies. How could I fix that? Alakazam's Answer is: I have pondered very carefully over your question, and it seems to me that there is only one possible answer. Your computer is obviously picking up psychic interference, and is probably possessed. Alakazam's Guidance is: If your computer is possesed, there is not much you can do about it. You can try to remove the spirit by incantations, but in these cases, often the only way to free the demon is by destroying the host (your computer).
Ryan Cook asks: Dear Alkazam, why is Miko so cool? Alakazam's Answer is: This has been due to years of hard work avoiding pop music (such as Steps and Kylie for example) whenever possible. Also it has something to do with genetics. Alakazam's Guidance is: In future, don't call me "dear". Words like "venerable", "honored" and "almighty" will suffice.
Josef Bares asks: Why does a 19 year-old boy (me) love Barbie dolls? Alakazam's Answer is: There are 2 possible reasons. One is that as a red blooded male you worship the female form, even when plastic. Another possible reason is that you are a bit of a sissy. Alakazam's Guidance is: Instead of Barbie Doll's, try an Alakazam figure. There are some excellent ones on the market.
All questions to Alakazam will be asked by e-mail. The address is chinchinchu@postmaster.co.uk