* * *
Ranma Ichibunnoni
Episode 21 - Alternate
* * *
"Ucchan--it’s me." It was Ranma’s voice in her ear.
"Mm...Ranma?" Ukyou smiled. She always liked this part of
the dream. Next, he would lean down, caressing her hair with one
hand, and whisper in her ear...
"Hey, Ukyou! Wake up, dummy!"
No, no. She was almost *certain* that’s not how it was
supposed to go. Wasn’t it something more like:
"C’mon, move your butt!"
Ukyou woke with a start. Ranma was sitting on her bed. She
blinked her eyes uncertainly. Now that she was awake, things weren’t
as simple, and his presence there in the shadows was no longer a
purely happy thing. "Ugh," she said, shaking the fog of sleep from
her head. "What do you want, Ranma?"
"A favour." His eyes seemed to glint in the darkness.
"Oh? What will you give me in return?" she asked teasingly.
"Anything," he replied seriously. Ukyou sat up in bed. As
surprised as she was at all of this, she still relished the way his
eyes seemed to widen when the covers rolled off her, showing off her
rather skimpy nightgown. It was a loan from Nabiki.
"What’s up, Ranchan?" she asked him.
He seemed to deflate a bit, as if he’d been holding his
breath. "I’m not sure I can explain to you...I need to make a wish,
Ucchan."
"And you need my vote," said Ukyou petulantly. He nodded.
"Just what I wanted to hear," she added sarcastically. "A campaign
pitch. Couldn’t this wait until breakfast?"
"No!" hissed Ranma. He realized he was gripping her arm
tightly, and let go. "I need to do this now, before she wakes up."
Ukyou felt a fist close over her heart. She’d known it. She
choked. "Why should I do anything to help you and th-that witch?" she
cried.
"She’s not that bad, once you get to know her," said Ranma
defensively.
Ukyou looked at him incredulously. "I can’t believe you’d do
this to me like THIS!" she said loudly.
"Shh! Keep your voice down!" said Ranma, waving his hands
wildly.
"Why *should* I?" demanded Ukyou. "I should have seen this
coming..."
Ranma blinked. "You *knew* she really loved Ryoga?"
Ukyou stopped crying. She looked at him squarely. "We’re not
talking about Akane, are we?"
Ranma colored. "Oops," he muttered. "Um...no," he admitted.
"I wanted to make a wish to help Ranko."
Ukyou smiled. "Well, now!" she said. "That’s a whole ‘nother
story!" She looked up at him. "And what were you willing to give me
for it, again?"
Ranma sighed. "Whatever you want," he answered. "I, uh,
don’t have much, but..."
Ukyou leaned close. "You’ll do anything I ask?"
Ranma gulped. "If that’s what it takes--yes. Only not now.
I can’t stay long."
"Oh, this won’t take long," purred Ukyou. "Tell me--would you
give up Akane, and marry me?"
"I..." Ranma closed his eyes. "Yes. I would," he said, lips
barely moving, fists clenched.
"Kiss me, Ranma."
Ranma leaned down and put his arms around her shoulders,
touching her cool skin through her flimsy gown. He pulled her close,
gazing into her eyes, then covered her lips with his. Ukyou broke the
kiss after a moment.
"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you."
Ranma didn’t move.
Ukyou looked at him sadly, one tear trickling down her cheek.
"Don’t you see, baka? That was a good-bye kiss."
Ranma gazed at her with great wisdom. "Huh?" he asked.
Ukyou laughed, but hiccoughed in the middle. "I’d never ask
you to give her up," she whispered. "Not after I got to know her.
She’s lucky, Ranma--luckier than I’ll ever be." She shook her head.
Ranma looked pained. "But...Ucchan, I *really* need that
wish."
Ukyou paused. "And you’ll do anything I ask for it, right?"
Ranma looked uncertain. "Um...right."
"Turn around, then," said Ukyou. Ranma looked puzzled, but
complied. A moment later, he leapt in the air.
"HEY!" he yelped. "You kicked me in the--"
"That’s right," said Ukyou. "Not as poetic as a kiss
good-bye, but a kiss and a kick will do," she said. "I’ll vote for
anything you want, tomorrow," she promised.
"Oh," said Ranma, dumbfounded. "I, uh, don’t understand," he
admitted.
"You’re supposed to look sad and agree, stupid," said Ukyou.
She wiped a tear from her face, but her vision still blurred. "I only
asked you if you’d leave her to see what you’d say, Ranchan. You do
love her--I could see it in your face, in your voice. And I won’t
come between you." She smiled up at him sadly and sniffed. "I’ll
leave tomorrow. Goodnight, Ranma."
"You don’t have to leave," protested Ranma.
"Yes, I do," she murmured. "Trust me--it’s easier this way."
"Stay a while, Ucchan," he asked. "For me?"
"You’re one to be asking favours," she muttered under her
breath. "Oh, all right," she said chokingly. "Now get out."
"Hey..." Ranma said it softly, and she slowly, unwillingly,
lifted her face to look at him. He leaned in, then, and kissed her.
His lips were were delicious and inviting, soft and warm against hers.
His arms seemed to enfold her, as if to protect her from all harm.
And when he finally let go, he let her down gently.
"Good-bye," he said to a stunned Ukyou.
* * *
Ranma inched his way down the hallway. He stopped at Akane’s
door, quietly pushing it open with one toe, then creeping inside
silently.
"Hello, Ranma." He froze, then looked up sheepishly at Akane,
lying in bed, head propped on one arm, looking at him in the grey
pre-dawn.
"Uh, hi, Akane," he gulped. "How are you?"
"How are you? How ARE YOU?!? You break into my bedroom in
the middle of the night and that’s all you have to say to me?"
"I’m a little surprised you’re awake, actually," admitted
Ranma.
"How could I not be? Nabiki was laughing hard enough to wake
up the dead. What did you say to her, anyways?"
"I, uh, asked her for a favour. She sort of turned me down."
"Oh?" Akane arched an eyebrow at him.
"Actually, I’ve got a favour to ask you, too."
Akane scowled at him. "Let me guess. It involves your sister
and the lamp. Am I right?"
Ranma gaped at her. "Well...uh...yes," he admitted.
"Get out," Akane told him.
"But--Akane!" Ranma looked around nervously. "Look--can I
come in?"
"What was the last thing I told you?" asked Akane.
"Huh?" asked Ranma.
"Never mind," sighed Akane. "Come on in, Ranma. Close the
door after you." Ranma did so. He looked around her room for
someplace to sit.
"I don’t suppose..." he said, pointing at the bed beside her.
"Not if you want to leave this room in one piece," she said.
Ranma blinked at her in astonishment. "What’s your problem
with Ranko, Akane? I just don’t get it?"
"No...you don’t, do you?" asked the black-haired girl softly.
Ranma had learned to fear Akane when she spoke softly. "It’s always
‘Ranko this’ and ‘Ranko that.’ You know, it would be nice to come
first, for a change."
Ranma gave up looking for a seat. He sighed. "She’s my
sister, Akane."
"Then start treating her that way!" said Akane angrily. "Stop
treating her like the be-all and end-all of your life!" She paused.
"Leave some room for me."
"Akane." Ranma reached out for her. She slapped his hands
away. He sighed. "Akane, I promise this is the last time I’ll ask
you for something for her."
"Sorry, but that’s just not good enough, Ranma," said Akane.
There was silence. "I never expected this to be difficult,
with you," Ranma finally admitted.
"Well, I’m sorry that I’m not as nice and dependable as HER,"
huffed Akane.
"That’s not what I meant," groaned Ranma. "Akane, just listen
to me!"
"Listen to you? Ranma, all I hear is somebody desperately
trying to get me to do something for his SISTER. I’m tired of it all.
I want to go to sleep."
Ranma winced. "Akane, I’ll do anything you ask."
"There’s nothing I want from you, Ranma, except some peace and
quiet!"
Ranma shrugged. "Okay--and then you’ll vote with me
tomorrow?"
Akane stared at him. "Get out," she growled. "Get out before
I throw you out!"
Ranma pleaded with her. "Akane...please!"
Akane sat up in bed. "Do I have to kick you out?" she
demanded.
Ranma scowled at her. "No--I’ll go, Akane. But...I really
wish you’d change your mind. All you’re doing is hurting her. This
isn’t her fault. If anybody’s, it’s mine." He looked at her, not as
soft as Ukyou had been in the same darkness that covered Akane now,
nor as desirable. Her lips were definitely not inviting; they were
curled in a sneer that made him flinch. But she remained, after all,
Akane.
"If you change your mind..." he said softly. "You know where
to find me."
"Yes, I do," agreed Akane coldly.
"I...okay," said Ranma miserably. He walked into the hallway,
then closed the door behind him. Then he turned back to the door,
and, pressing his face up to the wood, said three words. Then he went
down the hall to the room where Ranko was curled up, asleep. He
kissed her once, on the forehead, and in her sleep, she smiled at him.
"I’m sorry, Ranko-chan," he said quietly. "I failed you."
Then he, too, was swallowed up the darkness.
* * *
Dawn broke over the Tendo household (1). The family and their
guests roused, some sleepily, others with enthusiasm. A particular
panda had to be freed from a cage downstairs, but Mr. Saotome avowed
no misdoings.
"I was looking for a midnight snack!" he said fiercely.
"Pop," said Ranko tiredly, seeminly the only person at the
table listening to him, "the kitchen is *that* way." She pointed off
in the opposite direction.
"I was sleepwalking!" protested Mr. Saotome.
"Through Nabiki’s little obstacle course?"
"Ahh, a true martial artist is always aware of everything
around him, even when--hey! Ranma, that’s my fish sausage!"
Ranko sighed and looked at the clock, head on one hand. She
just wanted to get this over with. Everybody was being insufferable
this morning. Ranma looked like he hadn’t slept a wink, and he wasn’t
talking to her. He and Akane looked like they’d had a fight again.
Ukyou looked even worse than Ranma, and she had the sort of look in
her eyes that made Ranko avoid her. Nabiki, of course, was being
catty, like usual. Ranko was a bit puzzled at that. She’d honestly
expected the conniving Tendo girl to have made a wish during the
night, but nothing seemed different. Seemed...
She looked around frantically, then realized the futility of
it all, and subsided with a sigh. She trusted Ranma. Didn’t she?
She was trying not to think of the future so badly - it was all a
mess, now - but then why was she so eager for it to get there? The
clock kept ticking.
Mr. Tendo looked surprisingly chipper. Kasumi was, of course,
her usual self, which made sense. She *was* Kasumi, after all. And
that just left her father. Mr. Saotome was still trying to win back
the fish cake from Ranma. Ranko sighed again.
"Oh, my!" said Kasumi, clearing away plates. "You didn’t
touch your breakfast, Ranko!"
Ranko nodded wearily. "Not hungry," she said.
"That seems to be going around," said Kasumi. "I’ll have to
make some of mother’s extra-special egg sake tonight!"
Ranko shook her head at the industrious Kasumi and smiled,
against her will. The oldest Tendo daughter was so easy to like.
Unlike, say, Nabiki. Or Akane...there was one for you. Ranko snuck a
glance at her brother’s fiancee. She was eating her noodles quietly,
trying to ignore Ranma, apparently. Ranko sighed. She hadn’t even
gotten that part right--after everything, she’d been hoping...but, no.
Maybe they weren’t meant to be, after all. She shook her head.
Of course, there was one person missing from all this...but
Ranko didn’t really want to think about him. That was asking too much
even from her.
"All right, gang!" said Mr. Tendo with a big smile. "It’s
time to make a wish!"
Ranko lazily got to her feet, shooting a look at her twin.
‘It’s now or never, futago-kun,’ she thought.
(1) Predictably, Akane blamed Ranma for it, and Ranma retorted that
he hadn’t even been near the dawn when it broke.
* * *
"All right! This is the final vote," said Mr. Tendo.
"Majority rules, winner take all, one vote, one wish!" He smiled at
everybody. "Now, Nabiki--if you’ll open the safe?"
Nabiki smiled and produced a key from her bosom. Not the same
key she’d shown last night, noted Ranko. But she didn’t say anything.
With a the safe was unlocked, and Nabiki pulled out
the lamp once more. Mr. Tendo immediately reached to grab it, but
Nabiki smoothly handed it to a surprised Kasumi. "Here ya go, sis,"
said Nabiki peevishly. Ranko blinked. She couldn’t figure it out.
Had Nabiki already made a wish? But...
"All right!" said Mr. Tendo. "Now, who’s with me and Kasumi
in voting for Ranma and Akane’s future happiness together?"
"HEY!" cried Akane. "That’s not fair to Kasumi!"
"According to this book of Japanese law," stated Mr. Tendo,
pulling it out of his shirt, "the father has the voting rights of his
children."
Nabiki plucked it out of his hands. "Hmm," she said.
Everybody else waited expectantly. "Amazing how well these antiques
hold up."
"A-antiques?" protested her father.
"First published in 1736," read Nabiki out loud. "The Laws of
Nippon, and the Obligations to the Shogun."
"It’s still in print," protested Mr. Tendo weakly.
"Sure, daddy," said Nabiki, flipping the book at him.
"Akane, obey your father and vote!" shouted Mr. Tendo.
"Get stuffed!" yelled Akane.
While Mr. Tendo cried (1), Mr. Saotome put up his hand. "I
will! Yes, I’ll join your vote, on the side of righteousness and
youth!" Light streamed from behind him.
Ranko tipped over the spotlight. "How’d you pay for that thing anyway, Pop?" she asked. Mr. Saotome looked sheepish.
"Okay, that’s four votes..."
"Three!" shouted everybody else.
"Three votes," muttered Mr. Tendo, "For Akane and Ranma." He
sighed. "Fine. Anybody else? No?"
"Hold it!" said Ranma hoarsely. "I have a wish to make."
Mr. Tendo started crying. "Don’t you like Akane, son?"
"Wh-what?" Ranma was taken aback by the huge head that
confronted him. "O-of course I...well...l-l...l-like her..." He
fiddled with his fingers a bit.
"Good! I’m glad you’re with us!" said Mr. Tendo, slapping him
on the back.
"HEY!" yelled Ranma. "That’s not it!"
"Then you *hate* my daughter?" Soun started weeping again.
There was silence.
"Well?" prompted Nabiki. "Answer the question."
"What?" Ranma blinked. "Sorry, I was just expecting to get
h--uh, I was expecting something to happen." He looked at Akane
nervously. She looked back curiously.
"No, I don’t hate her," Ranma said boldly. "But that’s not
what I’m wishing for. I...I wish...I wish..." He balled his fists.
"It’s not on, you know," said Nabiki sarcastically. "You
don’t have to make such a fuss about it."
Ranma glared at her. "I wish Ryoga was brought back to
perfect health!"
Ranko stared at him in astonishment. What was he doing?
"Any seconders?" asked Soun.
"I will!" Everybody turned to see Ukyou, arms crossed
defiantly. "I’ll vote for this wish, too."
Ranko’s jaw dropped. "Wh-what?"
"Any more?" Mr. Tendo surveyed the room. "That’s only two
votes - by our rules, you need to beat three. Well then..."
Ranma turned to his sister, whose gaze he’d been carefully
avoiding. "Sis? C’mon."
Ranko looked at him. "Ranma.." she whispered. She shook her
head. "Even if I do vote, it’s only a tie. We can’t win." She felt
desolate, despondent--tired. She could sleep for an eternity.
"Yes, you can." Ranko looked up in shock, at the hand on her
shoulder, at the kindly face above it...
"AKANE?" Ranko’s eyes blurred. "I don’t understand."
"Neither do I," admitted Ranma shakily. "Not that I’m
complaining, but...why?"
Akane turned to him. Eyes shining, she bent over so her lips
were at his ears. "I love you, too," she whispered into them. She
stood back up. "Add my vote and Ranko’s to that, if you don’t mind,"
said Akane to her father sternly. "And we win."
"Not yet!" Mr. Tendo shouted. "You need a majority! We all
agreed! That means five out of eight! You only have four! Think of
your future, children!"
Nabiki sighed. Ranko looked at her. "As always, I’m the
deciding vote," she said with a smile.
"Nabiki!" sobbed Soun. "My favourite daughter!"
"Flowery words," said Nabiki.
"I’ll give you anything you want!" said Soun.
Nabiki smiled at him. "Anything?" She sat down, crossing her
legs. "Well now, perhaps we can come to an agreement, after all."
"Ahem." Akane stared accusingly at her sister. "You promised, Nabiki."
"Relax, Akane," said Nabiki with a toss of her head. "I was
just seeing how flexible daddy when it comes to negotiating my
allowance again." She shook her head. "If I’d really wanted
something from all this, I could have wished for it myself, last
night. All right - I’ll go with Ranma’s wish."
"That’s five!" cried Akane exuberantly. She felt Ranma’s hand
slip into hers, and she squeezed his hand tightly. Ranko’s eyes
threatened to fill with tears.
"Not yet--Ranko hasn’t voted!" Mr. Tendo looked at her as if
she’d *better* not, if she knew what was good for her.
Ranma turned to her then. "This is what you want, isn’t it?"
he asked.
Ranko looked at them all there, supporting her. "Yes," she
whispered. "But is it really what *you* want?"
Ranma swallowed. "You’re my sister."
Akane looked down at the ground, then up at her. "You’re
not...not really a devil," she admittedly softly. "I think I can
stand having you around...as a sister in law?" Ranma turned pale.
Apparently, thought Ranko, he hadn’t thought *that* far ahead. She
resisted the urge to smile. It was hard.
"You’re really something, Ranko," said Ukyou. "I loved you
before, not knowing who you were. I think I could love you now, too."
Ranko was struck speechless. Akane turned to Nabiki.
"I’m not letting you leave until you pay for all the things
you broke last night," said Nabiki. The others stared at her. "Well,
what did you *expect* me to say?" she demanded.
"What do you say...sis?" asked Ranma, smiling at her
tremulously.
Ranko looked at him, and then at Akane, and then at all of
them, and her vision blurred, her breath caught, and she couldn’t seem
to move. She started crying like a baby--crying in a way she hadn’t
done in a long, long time.
"Ranko?" "Ranko?" "Ranko-chan?" Arms seem to enfold her,
and she cried, and cried, until the tears stopped flowing.
"What do you say, Ranko?" asked Akane. "Are you in?"
"..." Ranko opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.
She tried again. "Y-y-yes," she stuttered. Then, with more
confidence: "Yes! Yes, I will! I’ll vote for that wish!"
The four of them triumphantly turned back to face Mr. Tendo.
Who was absent, along with Mr. Saotome. And the lamp.
"If you’re looking for the lamp, daddy took it with him a
minute ago," said Nabiki dryly.
"Oh, not to worry," said Kasumi brightly. "He said he just
wanted to borrow it for a minute. I’m sure he’ll be back soon."
Akane swore and ran out the door, Ranma right behind her.
Ukyou started, then paused. "Hey--you coming? I mean, it’s your
boyfriend’s bacon we’re saving, isn’t it?"
Ranko nodded, dumbfounded.
"Then let’s kick some butt!" said Ukyou.
"YEAH!" said Ranko. She was starting to feel like her old
self again.
(1) #333, My Youngest Daughter is Disobeying Me.
* * *
Epilogue 1:
His eyes opened. He groaned. Darkness.
"Ohhh...did anybody get the number...of that okinomiyaki
cart?" he gasped.
"What was that?" asked a voice. He *knew* that voice.
"Ranko?" he asked. Then he realized his voice sounded
muffled. "What’s going on?" he asked.
"Oh! Silly me...here." He felt something coming off him, and
he saw light again, so bright he had to shade his eyes. In the midst
of that light--Ranko, his angel!
"Am I dead?" he asked. "Is this heaven?"
Ranko leaned down and kissed him sweetly on the lips. "Did
that feel like you were dead?" she asked him.
"It felt like I was in heaven," he replied.
"Oh, you..." she said, smiling down at him.
"I love you," he told her.
"I know," she said. "And I, well..." She looked down,
peering at him shyly from behind her hair, falling into her face.
"It’s all right," Ryoga said sadly. "I know how you feel
about me."
"N-no, it’s not that," said Ranko, turning pink. "I, uh, I’ve
just never been good at, well, um, at saying things, you know,
things...uh...in front of an audience or anything." She started
playing with her hair.
"Neither am I," said Ryoga. "You don’t need to worry about
that."
"But Ryoga--YOU said it in front of everybody!"
"I did what?" Ryoga looked around. There was Ukyou, there
was Kasumi, there was Ranma--Ranma?
"Ranma, I--aargh!" He flopped back in bed, feeling pain down
his side.
"Relax, man," said Ranma, stepping closer. "I...well...I know
how you feel, and...well, it’s okay by me. All right?" He turned
gruffly. "Don’t make me say anything more, man. Just accept it,
okay?"
Ryoga blinked. "Huh?" he asked.
Akane, still holding Ranma’s hand, walked over to the invalid
Ryoga. "It’s okay for you and Ranko to, well--you know," she said
quietly, smiling. "He’s not good at words," she added. She looked
back at her betrothed. "But he can say them when it counts," she
admitted.
The two of them left. "I hope you get better soon," said
Ukyou. Ryoga sat through muttered apologies and well-wishes from the
whole extended family before he and Ranko were once again alone.
"I don’t understand!" he said.
"Oh..." Ranko smiled apologetically. "When we made the wish,
we, ah, never actually specified a time frame. So, um, the doctors
say you’ll be in a cast for eight to ten weeks. But you’ll be healthy
and whole at the end of it," she promised him. Then she giggled.
"I’ve never seen anybody as upset as those doctors. They think they
got your files mixed up, and they’re trying to pin the blame on
somebody!" Then she leaned close and put her cheek on his chest,
nuzzling into the space where his neck met his shoulder. She fit.
"I’m so happy you’re back," she breathed. "And now that I’m
here, I’m going to take care of you and nurse you back to health."
She ran a finger down his chest.
"Did you get hit with cold water again?" asked Ryoga. A
moment later, he was almost doubled up in pain. "You didn’t have to
hit me THERE!" he gasped.
"Easiest vital spot in a male target," shrugged Ranko. "Does
that answer your question? No, you silly man. I’m not a dream, and
you’re not dead, and I’m really Ranko, and I love you! Now shut up
and kiss me!"
He did as he was told - but he knew in his heart that no
matter what she said, this was Heaven, to him.
* * *
Epilogue 2:
"BLEAGH! What kind of soup is this?!" demanded Ryoga.
"Um...chicken soup, I think," said Ranko. "Akane made it for
you."
"What’s that floating in it? Jell-O?"
"I think it’s supposed to be tofu."
"GREEN tofu?"
"Akane said they were out of the regular kind. Now say
‘aah.’"
"No! You can’t make me! This stuff is horrible!"
"Ryoga! Akane went out of her way to make this soup for you,
and Ranma himself delivered it here, just for you!
You--are--going--to--drink--every--last--drop--of--it!"
"No! I’ll die! Have you tasted this stuff?"
"Of course not, silly! It’s *your* medicine. Now say ‘ahh.’
I said, say ‘ahh’! Fine! Be that way! We’ll see how long you can
hold your breath, then! I’m not leaving ‘till you finish the whole
thing!"
He gasped for air and felt a spoon of the disgusting, mealy
stuff thrust into his mouth. He swallowed, and it went down like a
living organism, burning as it did. Ryoga changed his mind. This
wasn’t Heaven. This was Hell. He choked, and tears came to his eyes
as he finally finished swallowing the murky gloop.
"Geez. Be a man, Ryoga!" Ranko looked at him in disbelief.
"How bad can it be?" She sipped at the brew.
Moments later, a soup tureen went flying out the window.
Fin.
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