* * *
Ranma Ichibunnoni
Episode Four
"Love and Other Dangerous Weapons."
* * *
Kuno was pacing. It was something he was good at; yet another
of the innumerable Kuno family blessings. It had been just over a
day since he'd fought Ranko Saotome. Over twenty-four long hours,
and he had still not seen her or Akane Tendo since the fight.
"Curses!" he muttered. "Zounds!" he added for effect. "Zut
alors!" he tried, but then discarded as being too hard to say.
French accents were so hard to fake properly (1). His pacing
brought him next to Nabiki, where she was enjoying her lunch and
counting her profits.
"Yo, Kuno. What's got you so down?" she asked, always quick
to see the good in another's misfortune. Usually in terms of cold,
hard cash coming her way. Kuno glanced up at her, stopping his
pacing for the moment, which everybody in the room was supremely
grateful to Nabiki for. She decided to bill them for that later.
"Nabiki Tendo," he said slowly. "You see before you a man in
some difficulties (2). I needs must deliver something to Ranko
Saotome, but I know not the address of her domicile. Whither the
raven-haired girl who bested me, the great Tatewaki Kuno, in mortal
combat?"
Nabiki sucked on her straw thoughtfully. "You know, Kuno, I
happen to know where she's staying," she commented idly.
Kuno's eyes lit up. "Verily? Then speak on, Nabiki Tendo!
Where is she!?" Nabiki looked in his eyes and shivered. He was
just a little bit *too* excited about this, she thought. She idly
wondered if she could get him to start taking Valium. She had
expected him to be angry--but *that* angry? Or was there something
else there, in his eyes? A pinch of obsession? A touch of
madness? A sprig of parsley?
She hastily revised her original plan. No sense letting a
crazed violent maniac loose in the house. She already had three.
"Well, actually, I misspoke. I don't know where she is," she said,
blithely omitting the words 'right now'. "But I *can* deliver a
message to her if you like. My rates don't come cheap, 'though."
Kuno nearly pounced on her words. "How much?" he demanded
eagerly.
Nabiki thought for a moment, trying to figure out how much she
could milk him for. "1000 yen," she quoted him.
His eyebrows raised slightly, but he slammed his hand down on
the desk. "Done!" He immediately took out inkstone and began to
grind ink on the spot as the other students stared at him
nonplussed. He got out a brush and in seconds had finished his
work. He handed the paper to Nabiki who looked at it in
puzzlement.
(1) Except for Canadians, who pretend that french is their second
language but really only learn enough to fake it to Americans. For
some reason, english Canadians learn french as spoken in France,
not french as spoken in Quebec. This may be part of the reason
Quebec wants to separate from the rest of Canada.
(2) Kuno was later to win the coveted Understatement of the Year
award for this statement.
* * *
"Mail call," said Nabiki, tossing the envelope to Ranko.
Ranko was sparring with her brother, but somehow managed to catch
it while making a flying kick. The kick connected, too. Nabiki
wondered if she could somehow manage to make money off the
Saotomes' fighting abilities. She shrugged and took out her
camera. It was just like a martial arts movie, she thought to
herself. Flashy, but unrealistic.
Of course, the fact that pictures of Ranko would sell well had
nothing to do with it at all. Several boys had already asked the
middle Tendo daughter if Ranko was engaged to anybody (1). There
had been a general air of doom around half the student body
population when Nabiki had come back the next day and announced
Ranko was indeed off-limits to them. Not that such a petty detail
as that stopped the boys from trying to catch her attention, or
hoping to make her smile at them. Or, for that matter, the other
half of the student population from flirting outrageously with
Ranma. Her little sister hadn't noticed yet, but most of the girls
at Furinkan thought he was pretty hot stuff.
Ranma easily dodged his sister's next attack, then called a
halt to the fight and sat down where he stood, breathing heavily.
Ranko sat down gratefully on a rock and opened the envelope.
"'On Sunday at the seventh hour meet me at the second field
of...' I don't believe this! Kuno's challenging me? Again?" She
sounded almost incredulous.
Akane spoke up in a flat tone. "Sure sounds like it." She
had been watching the two fight while she practised, trying to get
back into shape. She didn't tell anybody it was so she could give
that demon girl some of her own medicine back. She didn't have to.
Ranma put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up from the rock
where she was sitting, cross-legged. "Ranko-chan...don't worry
about Kuno. If he's bothering you, I'll take care of him." He
smiled at her. Ranko punched him in the stomach and he doubled
over in pain. Both Nabiki and Akane's eyes opened wide at that.
"Don't you treat me like that! I'm not some china doll for
you to take care of, Ranma! I haven't trained for sixteen years so
I could go crying to you whenever a problem comes up. You pig!
You lousy, male chauvinist pig!"
Ranma straightened out. He slowly grinned. "Well, you should
know all about that; you're more boy than girl, you tomboy!" He
suddenly kicked at her. She blocked it with her arms crossed. "An
opening!" he cried as he landed both fists on her face. Both Tendo
girls winced at the impact. "Baka! Never let down your guard!"
He grinned for the 1.3 seconds until Ranko tumbled into his feet,
grabbing them and pulling him down, face-first, into the rocky
ground.
"Who's baka?" she demanded, as she proceeded to jump into the
air, landing on his head and smashing it back into the rocky ground
for a second time. Nabiki winced and decided it would be safer
inside. Akane just took mental notes.
"Ite! I give up! Ite!" yelled Ranma, somewhat muffled by the
rock.
Akane mentally added yet another note in her analysis of their
styles. She'd come to the conclusion that Ranko held the edge in
speed, while her brother was stronger. But both of them enjoyed an
almost insane amount of skill in Kempo as well as strong skills in
gymnastics, athletics and other combat-oriented skills. They
certainly dwarfed Akane by comparison. But not for long, she
thought hotly. Not long at all.
Ranko grinned as her brother got up. "Boy, do *you* look
dumb. Fits your personality. Hmm...we should put some ice on that
before it turns purple," she finished, looking at the cuts and
abrasions on his face.
Akane spoke up sharply. "If you'd just practice in the dojo
like normal people, this wouldn't have happened! I keep telling
you there's too many sharp rocks around here! I mean, what's the
point of having a dojo if you don't practice in it?" Akane was a
bit upset still that the two had rejected the dojo. Too stuffy,
they had said. Well, then, what about the yard? Wasn't it good
enough for them? Ranko had simply muttered something under her
breath about not wanting to get wet and left. As if that mattered.
Akane turned and stuck her nose in the air, leaving in a huff.
Ranko just glanced at Ranma. Then both started laughing.
That just made Akane angrier, but she refused to give them any
satisfaction. She stormed off, to take out her aggressions on an
unlucky practice dummy (2). Ranko leaned on her brother. "You
know, though, she has something there," she said, poking him to
send her point home. "We should clear up the lot before we spar
again." She glanced at Ranma's bleeding face. "And we should get
you to Dr. Tofu again."
Ranma frowned. "Aw, Sis," he groaned. "It's just a flesh
wound. You know how face cuts are. Lots of show, no substance."
Ranko jabbed at his cheek. "Oww!" he yelled, caught off guard.
He looked back up to see Ranko glaring at him. "Okay, what's
the *real* reason you don't want to go?" she demanded.
Ranma grinned. He never *could* keep secrets from his sister.
"I dunno, Sis. I'm not sure about that guy...I mean, if you hadn't
been at the clinic yesterday, what would I have done? I'd fallen
and I couldn't get up (3)."
Ranko studied him for a moment. Ranma and Akane had gone to
Dr. Tofu's for some first aid yesterday afternoon. Ranko had
decided to let them go in by themselves--places with large
quantities of cold water sitting around weren't her style any more,
for some reason. The doctor had done something to Ranma, paralysed
his legs or something with some kinda weird Shiatsu technique that
took a while to kick in. When Ranma had come back out with Akane,
the two of 'em had gotten into another fight--as usual. Ranko idly
wondered if that was why Dr. Tofu had intervened.
Just a minute into the fight, Ranma's legs had given out and
he'd had to ride piggyback on Ranko all the way home. If Ranko
hadn't been there, he'd have had to ask Akane for help. Which
might have helped the two fiances become closer, Ranko admitted to
herself. But it would've hurt Ranma's pride. Accepting help from
a girl (4)? And with Ranma, his pride was a large part of who he
was--almost part of his essence, in a way. So Ranko wouldn't--no,
couldn't--deny him anything he asked. Not even for his own good.
Ranko was curious what Dr. Tofu would have done instead, had he
known Ranko was waiting just outside.
Ranko wondered if she should actually tell him any of this.
She decided against it. He was really thick in some ways, but he'd
find out soon enough. Sooner than he wanted, that was for sure.
But it was her turn to frown now. "Shimatta (5)! I'm
sweaty!"
Ranma looked at her as if she'd grown another head. "Well,
duh. Of *course* you're sweaty. You just fought the best martial
artist in the--"
Ranko put a fist in his face, which shut him up mid-sentence.
"No, you dope. I mean, I'm sweaty, and it's getting cold out!"
Ranma looked at her without visible expression. "C'mon, Sis.
They're gonna find out sooner or later. Why not sooner?"
She snarled at him in a way that meant she was *really* angry
with him; it sounded just like a cat. Ranma jumped three feet into
the air with a muted yelp. That kind of thing really freaked him
out--which was, of course, why she did it; Ranko liked having an
edge over him...mostly because she didn't get one very often.
"And why not later? *You're* not the one who's cursed! It
may not seem like so much to you, mister look-at-me-I'm-perfectly-
normal, but--" she choked. Then Ranma's arms were surrounding her.
She sniffed.
"Hey, hey," he said, trying to calm her down. "I'm sorry.
Why don't you have a bath, and I'll go see Dr. Tofu. Even if he
*is* a crackpot." Ranko smiled at that. Ranma had his own curse
to live with, in a way, by the name of Akane Tendo. She ran off,
hoping nobody needed the bathroom right now. Ranma just stood
there for a moment in thought before starting off for the clinic.
(1) Of course, she billed them a hundred yen each for the
information and then simply went up to Ranko and asked her flat
out.
(2) For some reason, there had been a real shortage of practise
dummies at the dojo since Ranma and his sister arrived. This
despite the fact neither of them used the dummies. Akane is very
dangerous when aroused (6).
(3) Please don't flame me for that comment. Pretty please?
(4) Ranko was different. Ranma accepted her help, and helped her
in return. The twins tended to ignore each other's gender, a
process that began many years ago when Genma, trying to save money,
dressed them both in the same clothes.
(5) Shimatta! = "Oh, no!"
(6) Not THAT way, you hentai pervert! Although that's probably
true too, come to think of it. Hmmm.
* * *
Ranko stood on the field, alone. She looked at the sun, which
was already setting. She couldn't believe she was waiting for that
idiot Kuno. *He* was the one who'd set the time and place, for
heaven's sake! What kind of an idiot was late for his own
challenge? Still, she'd never run away from a challenge. Which
reminded her--
Her train of thought was cut off by a deep voice. "7:23 pm.
The time at which the sunset is at its most beautiful." Kuno
slowly stepped towards her. Now that she had a good look at him,
Ranko noticed he was really dressed up. She was in her gi, of
course. What kind of idiot would dress in a--she set that train of
thought aside. She already knew what kind of idiot Kuno was (1).
She also noticed his bokken was missing.
"Yo, Kuno. You left your stick at home." She crossed her
arms. She had no tolerance for unnecessary dramatics during a
fight, especially not after her challenger had made her wait nearly
an hour.
To her surprise, Kuno merely smiled back at her confidently.
"I have no need of a sword," he said in tones that were sure and
even. That almost unnerved her. What kind of guy would be that
confident unless he knew he had the advantage? He almost unnerved
her, but almost wasn't good enough in her books. She got her
fighting spirits back up and smiled back just as confidently.
"You're being pretty confident there, ain'tcha?" she asked
him. He smiled again. It was creepy. Sort of like he had some
hidden weapon. Or maybe he was on Prozac. He drew his arm back.
She tensed, ready for anything he could throw at her (2).
"Confident enough...to give you...*this*!" His arm moved in
a blur. She grabbed at the flying...bouquet? Ranko looked at the
bouquet of roses in her hand. Was this some kind of trick? The
image of Kuno in front of her blurred and shifted, becoming a much
younger boy, many years ago...
Ranko sank to her knees. Psychological warfare wasn't fair.
Not fair at all. She looked up. Kuno spoke once more. "Ranko
Saotome...I love you." He turned and walked away, into the sunset,
leaving Ranko cradling a dozen roses to her chest with wide eyes.
(1) The worst kind, of course.
(2) Okay, I lied. Sue me. Ranko was ready for *almost* anything,
but she was sort of expecting it to come in the form of an attack.
* * *
Akane was getting worried. It was already 7:40, and hadn't
the fight been at seven? It shouldn't have taken her more than
five minutes to take Kuno out of the picture. If she was having a
bad day. If Ranko was toying with him. And if Kuno fought dirty.
Akane would never have believed Kuno would do something like that,
but there was a first time for everything. As much as she hated
that demon of a girl, she still worried about her. She stopped
pacing to look at Ranma, who was munching on popcorn as he watched
TV.
"Don't you even care about what's happening to her?" she
yelled at him, startling him out of his mindless stare (1). Genma
didn't even bother looking up. Caring for his children was not one
of his better abilities and he usually found ignoring the problem
made it go away. Especially if Ranko or Ranma was nearby--they had
lower tolerances for such things. Once again paternal wisdom
proved true as Ranma turned on Akane angrily.
"Hey! She told me it was none of my business!" he retorted.
He hoped she meant Ranko. He was *pretty* sure she didn't mean
Nabiki or Kasumi, after all.
"So what!" exclaimed Akane. "She's your sister!" While Ranma
tried to make sense of that statement, Akane continued. "She could
be out there, hurt, or...or...something! And you're watching TV!!
Of all things!" Ranma was confused. She made that sound like a
*bad* thing. Akane just screamed in anger and stomped off. "Well,
if *you're* not going to go find her, I guess I'll do it alone!"
she shouted. Ranma settled back down. He was glad she'd found
something to do to occupy her time.
(1) In other words, watching TV. As you may have guessed, the
author has a low opinion of that form of media. Except for anime,
of course, which is the holy evolution of all that is good.
* * *
Akane only got a block away from the house when she bumped
into Ranko returning home. She was a mess, with something in her
hair, and all over her--were those rose petals? They couldn't be.
And she had a blank look on her normally expressive face. That
worried Akane.
Akane waved at Ranko. "Hey, Ranko! How'd it go? You really
had us worried there, you know." Akane put on her best smile.
Ranko walked past her. Akane waved her hand in front of Ranko's
face. Nothing. Hmmm. Ranko started to walk past her again.
Akane shrugged, looked around, and then tripped her. Well,
turnabout was fair play, wasn't it?
Ranko got up slowly, a dangerous glint in her eye. "Hey, what
was that for?" she asked.
Akane looked her over. "You're a mess! What happened to
you?"
Ranko stared at Akane in confusion, all her anger seeming to
dissipate into the air, then shrugged. "I was in a fight,
remember?" She started to walk forward again.
Akane stepped in front of her. "Since when does a fight
involve covering yourself with flower petals from top to bottom?"
she asked. She started looking for obvious signs of a concussion.
No bumps. Not even bruised. Curiouser and curiouser.
Ranko snarled at Akane half-heartedly. "Where's Ranma?" she
asked.
Akane frowned. "Ranma, Ranma, always Ranma! It's like you're
married to him or something! What's with you two!?"
Ranko stood wearily. "He's my brother."
Akane snorted. "Sure, okay. But most brothers and sisters
aren't like you two. It's like you're one person. You watch the
same shows. You fight together. You sleep together. You laugh at
the same things. You eat the same food. You *bathe* together,
Ranko! Tell me that's not weird. Heck, you even wear the same
clothes! It's just not normal!"
Ranko looked up angrily. "What do you know about being
normal!?" she demanded, showing more emotion than she had in the
past half hour. "You've had it easy!" Akane took a step backwards
in the face of this sudden change, then another.
Suddenly, Ranko deflated. "Aw, who cares. It's not like you
do." Akane felt compassion for the girl who somehow seemed so
small and pitiful now that her burst of anger had fled.
She smiled at her. "Maybe you need to open your eyes a bit.
But that can wait. Come on, let's get you home to Ranma, and I'll
make you a nice cup of tea (1)." She walked Ranko back to the
dojo.
(1) At this point, none of the Saotomes had been unlucky or
unintelligent enough to sample what might, if you were feeling
overly generous at the time, be called Akane's culinary talents.
Thus the mention of this wasn't enough to give her a heart attack.
That would come *after* drinking the tea.
* * *
"RAAANNMMAAA!!" raved Soun. The unfortunate recipient of this
incredible scream sat up sharply and huddled back on the couch, as
far away from his future father-in-law as he could. Genma stole
his popcorn and began munching on it, unfazed.
"You let my little girl go after your sister alone?! What
kind of fiance are you!?" Soun continued to shout. He was in his
demon-head form, which, if you've never encountered it before, can
be incredibly intimidating (1). Ranma grabbed his shoes, pack and
jacket and was outside in a flash, grateful to leave the still-
foaming-at-the-mouth Soun behind. It was only then that he
realized he had no idea where Akane had gone.
He looked around himself, cursed for a few seconds, then
closed his eyes and spun in a circle, with his arm pointed
outwards. He came to a stop. He opened his eyes. He was pointing
at the dojo again. He shrugged, then jumped on top of the roof and
noisily ran across it in the direction he had been pointing.
(1) For that matter, if you've encountered it several hundred
times before, it's still pretty intimidating.
* * *
Akane peeked into the TV room. "Oh, hello, um, Mr. Saotome.
Do you know where Ranma is?" she asked the panda nervously. She
still hadn't gotten used to addressing the panda as a person. Mr.
Saotome shook his head and went back to eating popcorn.
Nabiki came downstairs. "Oh, hi Akane. Ranma's out looking
for you. Hey, Ranko, did you win or what?"
Ranko looked at her. "Or what..." she mumbled.
Nabiki's jaw dropped open. "You lost?" she asked in
disbelief. She was still standing there in shock when Akane
dragged Ranko outside (1).
Akane smiled at Ranko. Obviously, somebody had to take care
of the girl. "Come on, Ranko. Ranma's not here, so why don't we
go have a burger?" She paused. "Um, if you can lend me the money,
it'll be on me!" She smiled again. Ranko smiled back (2).
(1) Nabiki's shock probably had to do more with the substantial
betting pool she had set up before school was out, than from any
love of her future sister-in-law or confidence in her abilities.
(2) If she knew how close she'd come to death in the form of
Akane's cooking, she'd be smiling even more.
* * *
Ranko reached for her second burger. Akane waved her finger
at her. "Uh uh uh!" Ranko looked at her, startled. "Look, are
you gonna tell me what's wrong, or am I gonna have to get mean and
beat it out of you?" She smiled to show Ranko she was only
kidding. That seemed to snap Ranko out of it. She even grinned a
little. It was a little irritating, thought Akane, that Ranko
thought Akane beating her up was a joke. She resolved to train
more. A distant tree took a photo of the girls.
"Kuno...gave me roses. And said he loved me," said Ranko.
Akane blinked. That hadn't been what she had expected in the
least. Oh, well. At least that meant he was out of *her* hair.
She straightened up a little and smiled. Ranko shivered. "And
he...he reminded me of my fiance." Akane nodded. "Well, except
for the way he spoke. And the way he acted." Akane nodded again.
She'd have been worried if he was like Kuno that way. Ranko
frowned, thinking. "And the way he dresses. And his height. And
his face. And--"
Akane put a hand to her head. "In what way *are* the two
alike?" she asked. Ranko thought for a moment. Then two moments.
Then three. Akane couldn't believe this.
Finally, Ranko looked at Akane and blushed. A mailbox down
the street took several snapshots. "In no way, I guess," she
sheepishly admitted. Akane nearly blew her top. "THEN
WHY--??" she started to yell. She quickly cut herself off and
counted to ten silently while taking long, deep breaths (1). She
felt herself calm down slightly. "Then *why* did you say that he
reminds you of your fiance?!" she demanded in what passed for a
calmer tone of voice. Ranko got a stubborn look on her face.
Akane sighed and tried another tack. A nearby bench took a
picture. "Look, Ranko. I'll tell you about the guy *I* like if
you tell me about the guy *you* like..."
Ranko's curiosity was piqued. She couldn't help it. "Who is
he? He's not Ranma, so..." she asked excitedly.
Akane stuck out her tongue. "Nyah, not until you tell me
yours first."
Ranko thought about that. Then she nodded. "Okay. Deal."
She made herself comfortable, and then gazed off into the sky for
a moment. When she spoke up again, it was like she was a different
person. A bush next to them took a picture. Akane blinked.
WHAT? She shook her head. She must have imagined it.
"I met him when I was only a little girl," she said wistfully.
"But we knew we were in love right from the start." She smiled,
and Akane wasn't sure she still realized Akane was there. "I asked
my daddy if he'd make the arrangements, and he was going to ask
his." Akane nodded eagerly. It sounded like one of those stories
about true love from the books she used to read when she was
younger. Ranko continued on. "But we both knew I couldn't stay,
and so we made a promise that, one day, we'd be together, no matter
*what* obstacles came in between us!" She stopped smiling, and it
was like clouds had suddenly covered the sun. Akane felt chilly,
and unconsciously tried to cover herself with something warmer. A
closer bush took a picture. Akane stared at it for a second.
Perhaps she had been training a little too hard.
"But then we moved away, almost suddenly. Maybe it was, in
retrospect. Almost like our parents were trying to separate us.
That was...that was many years ago," she said sadly. "But I still
dream of the day when we meet again, and we'll get married." She
sighed dreamily, clasping her hands next to her cheek. A nearby
bush took a photo of her in that pose. Akane leaned over towards
the bush, paused, and then rammed her hand into it hard. She
pulled out a struggling male student.
"Oh, uh, hi, Akane," stammered Gosunkugi. "Nice day for a
walk in the park, isn't it," he said. Akane looked at him while
still holding him in the air.
"Gosunkugi," she asked him, "*why* are you sneaking around and
taking photos of me?"
"Um...well, I was taking pictures of you and Ranko during gym
class, and the others all wanted copies, so I figured I'd get a few
extras for myself..."
Akane pressed her forehead with her free hand. "Some other
time, okay?" she said, hoping he'd go away.
Gosunkugi gasped. "She--she talked to me!" he sighed. Akane
let go of him. There was a thud. Gosunkugi remembered what she
had said and scampered off. "She said she'd let me take photos of
her some other time!" he said happily as he danced with joy.
"Heh...some people, huh," Akane joked weakly, turning back to
Ranko. She expected to find the demon-girl--no, just the girl--
angry with her for accidentally bringing him along to eavesdrop and
spy on them. Instead, she found Ranko still clasping her hands
together and staring off into space, as if she hadn't heard a
thing. She probably hadn't, either. "That must be some guy!" she
exclaimed, sarcastic. But just a little bit wistfully, too.
"Huh?" asked Ranko, coming back to reality with a crash.
"What was that, Akane?"
Akane almost hated to do it, but she felt Ranko needed a
healthy dose of reality. And besides, she wasn't all *that*
concerned about the impish little girl, anyway (2). "If this was
so many years ago, how do you know he hasn't forgotten about you?"
she asked. Ranko looked at her with eyes that spoke volumes.
"I know, because my heart tells me so," she said (3). Akane
gave up on reality. It obviously wasn't going to reach her today.
"So...now you see why it hurts sometimes, right?" asked Ranko.
Akane nearly nodded, she was so caught up in Ranko's spell.
Then she caught herself right on the brink. "Ummm, no, actually,
I don't," she admitted.
Ranko frowned. "Well, it's because we're so far apart, see,
and..."
Akane interrupted her. "No, I get that part. I just don't
understand why *Kuno* reminds you of him." Ranko nearly giggled at
the way Akane had said that. Almost like she was giving Ranko the
benefit of good taste. But then, this was Akane, wasn't it? She'd
never do something like that. It might become a precedent.
"Well, when we made the promise, he gave me a single rose,"
she said. Akane felt her eyes filling with tears. How romantic!
Ranko grinned. "Your turn," she said. Akane blinked at her
before snapping out of the spell Ranko had cast and remembering her
own half of the deal. She blushed.
(1) Akane in therapy. The mind boggles.
(2) Hey, I *did* say 'almost'. You think old grudges die in the
space of a single afternoon? Well, true, they can. But Akane's
never been one for forgiving and forgetting.
(3) Yes, I know I stole the line from a song. There's no need to
flame me. No more twit replies needed! I got it! Thanks all!
* * *
Ranma stared at a sign. It said, 'Welcome to Nerima. Home of
the Mendo family villa (1) (2). Have a nice stay.' He had reached
the city outskirts. Maybe he should have turned, once in a while?
Oh, well. He ran back the way he'd come. At least he wasn't as
bad as whats-his-name from grade school, right? Nobody could be
*that* bad.
(1) Author's Fun Fact #33: Did you know that several famous anime
series take place in Nerima? It's true! Ranma 1/2, Urusei
Yatsura, and All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku all take place in
the same city! Tomobiki is just the name of the high school--you
know, like Furinkan is the one Ranma goes to, and Kolkhoz the one
Mikado goes to? Not to mention St. Hebereke's School for Girls
(3). Of course, the idea of Ranma meeting Nuku Nuku (a cat in an
android body) is priceless.
(2) To the experienced traveller, this was also a strong warning.
Besides having strange aliens invade every so often and unexplained
paranormal phenomena thanks to the Urusei Yatsura gang, and full-
scale paramilitary terrorism thanks to the Nuku Nuku groups, the
property values of the area had fallen horrendously since Ranma and
his various friends, enemies, fiancees and mentors had taken up
residence.
(3) Incidentally, having to suffer through years of a Catholic
girl's school could very well explain Kodachi's unique temperament.
* * *
Ranma stumbled in. He couldn't find Akane anywhere. He must
have searched half the town. He'd have to admit defeat and beg Mr.
Tendo for a place to stay the night.
He was not at all pleased to find Akane and his sister in the
living room, poring over a photo album.
"AAARRRGGGHHH!" he exclaimed. That got the attention of
everybody inside.
Nabiki looked up at him. "What's your problem, Ranma?" she
asked him, wondering if she could make any money out of this.
Genma put up a sign which said 'Welcome back,' while Soun
rearranged the shogi board they were playing.
He looked up to welcome Ranma back himself. "Oh, hello son."
he said. Genma took the opportunity to whirl the board around 180
degrees. Akane looked up, confused. Ranko just ignored him.
Ranma admitted defeat and slumped upstairs. He just wanted to
sleep.
Ranko bounced upstairs a second later. "Hey, 'bro. You can't
go to sleep 'till you do your homework, ya hear?" There was the
sound of something heavy smashing and Ranko shrieking. Nobody but
Akane paid it any attention.
Akane stood up, about to give them both the scolding of their
lives, realized nobody else cared, and sat down again. "Honestly!"
she said. Nobody else paid any attention to that, either.
* * *
Once upstairs, Ranko leaned in closer to her brother. "Hey,
Ranma," she whispered. "Wanna hear something funny?"
End of Episode Four
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