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[A couple of shots of the Twelve Gold Temples on the TV screen]
Announcer: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. You're watching what is about to be the major event of the century. The Bronze Saints have arrived in Sanctuary, and they are going to challenge their seniors, the Gold Saints! But before we present you with the live match between the two groups of Saints, let's watch the recorded interview of the Gold Saints, taken just several minutes ago...
[A reporter shows up and smiles into the camera, standing before the Aries Temple]
Reporter: Here's your reporter speaking, and we're entering the first Temple. I wonder if Saint Aries is at home...[enters the Temple] Oh, there he is! Sir, excuse me, can we have a word with you? Is it true that you're going to repair the Bronze Saints' armors?
Mu: Yes, I am. Though I do wish they would find someone else. I'm a Saint, not a mechanic. And I'm not even getting paid to do that.
Reporter: Thank you. By the way, where did you have your hair done? I just love that shade...
Mu: Oh, this? It's my friend's work, she has a beauty parlor in Tibet. Here's her business card.
Cameraman's voice: Hey!! We don't have time for this!
Reporter: Ooops, sorry. I'll keep this card, thank you very much. Now for the next Temple, the Temple of Taurus!...You see here next to me Aldebaran, the Taurus Saint. Sir, do you think the Bronze Saints have much chance in this fight?
Aldebaran: No way. Besides, they follow the false Athena, they won't win!
Reporter: With a physique like yours, I'm sure they'll bounce off if they get too close...
Aldebaran: Right!
Reporter: Thank you for your comment, sir. Next, the Gemini Temple! [shots of an empty Temple] It seems that there's nobody at the Gemini Temple. Perhaps Saint Gemini is camera-shy. We'll take you to the Temple of Cancer, then...Here we are inside the fourth Gold Temple. As you can see, there are weird masks all over the walls and floors. Saint Cancer seems to have a peculiar taste in home interior.
Deathmask: Hey, who are you? Get out of my Temple!
Reporter: We're TV crews, sir.
Deathmask: I don't care! Um, from TV did you say? What is it that you want to know?
Reporter: [surreptitiously wiping away sweat] Well, we'd like to ask you...
Deathmask: The number of victims I've finished off, right? Well, according to my last counting...
Reporter: No, no, we'd like to hear your opinion about the oncoming match between the Bronze Saints against you Gold Saints.
Deathmask: Huh, those babies? I'll add them to my collection of masks, that's what will happen!
Reporter: Er, thank you, sir. [at the Leo Temple] Here is Saint Leo Aiolia. Sir, are you feeling okay? You seem rather pale.
Aiolia: Just tell me what you want.
Reporter: About this fight, Bronze against Gold Saints...
Aiolia: My task is to stop whoever tries to reach the Pope's palace.
Reporter: Are you all right? How many fingers am I holding up?
Aiolia: Three, of course! Do you think we Saints have had no schooling?
Reporter: Thank you. Phew, wonder why he's so touchy today...We are now at the Temple of Virgo, home of the man they call closest to --
Shaka: Ssshh! Can't you people see I'm meditating?
Reporter: Just a minute, sir. Tell us, how does it feel to have your eyes closed all the time? How do you manage not to bump into things?
Shaka: What do you suppose the eighth sense is for!?
Reporter: Hmm, I guess that answers it. We won't bother you anymore. [at the Libra Temple] This Temple is as silent as the Gemini Temple. But wait, there's somebody over there. Sir! Sir, excuse me, aren't you Saint Aquarius Camus?
Camus: I'm waiting for someone right now. If you want to talk to me, do it at my own Temple later on!
Reporter: Okay. Let's move on to the Scorpio Temple!
Milo: What are you guys doing here? You know we don't allow TV people in this area!
Reporter: We won't take long, sir. Is that a bucket of water in the corner?
Milo: Yes, it is. Whoever comes here is bound to get a taste of my Scarlet Needle and bleed like a stuck pig. I'm going to have to clean their blood off my floor. If you don't scram now, I'll give you the honor to be the first!
Reporter: ... [runs out of the Temple] We have just passed the Sagittarius Temple and found it also empty [panting]. We are now at the Temple of Capricorn, with Shura, Saint Capricorn. Sir, one question, if we may.
Shura: Go ahead.
Reporter: We've caught rumors saying that in your spare time you work in other people's gardens, pruning and trimming them with your Excalibur.
Shura: Who told you that?! [in a lower voice] But, uh, it's true. You can't earn much being a Saint, so I took a part-time job.
Reporter: Thank you, sir. Now, to the Aquarius Temple!...Here comes Camus, not looking very happy. Sir, have you met the person you're supposed to meet at the Libra Temple?
Camus: Oh, it's you again. No, I haven't, I just remember I forgot to turn off my tape recorder. I'll be back to the Libra Temple shortly.
Reporter: Sir, there's been some talk about Cosmopolitan offering you to be the model for their calendar next year...
Camus: WHAT??? Here I am worrying about Hyoga and you want to hear about some lousy magazine offer? Get [beep] out of here!
Reporter: Okay, okay...Boy, he doesn't seem happy about the offer, or maybe he wants one from another magazine. Oh well, let's proceed to the last Gold Temple!...It smells very nice in here. Must be all those roses. There's Pisces Aphrodite. Sir, we --
Aphrodite: Are you judges who come to view my garden?
Reporter: No, we're from the media. We'd like to --
Aphrodite: Beautiful garden, wouldn't you say? It's more than a hobby to me, it's an asset. After I retire from this Saint business, I'll open my very own florist shop.
Reporter: That's, er, very interesting, sir. [to the camera] We're on our way to the Pope's Palace now...Standing beside me is Pope Ares himself. Your Highness, we would like ask you something that's been on everyone's mind.
Pope Ares: Yes, what is it?
Reporter: Why do you bathe so many times in a day?
Pope Ares: Why? So that I'll stay clean, that's bloody why! You think it's fun wearing a mask, robes and a heavy headdress all day long? If I'm not careful I'll get nits and zits all over my hair and face!
Reporter: Uh, okay, no need to get so steamed up about it. [to the camera] We're reporting from Sanctuary, Athens, and don't forget to watch the live Bronze versus Gold Saints match, right after these messages!
"What are those noises?!"
"It's those Saints, they're practicing as usual."
"Why they heck they don't take afternoon naps like normal people is beyond me. I mean, we live in Athens as much as they do. Just because we can't turn opponents into pincushions or strike them with lightning bolts doesn't mean they have the right to disturb us!"
"Well, they are protecting the world from evil forces..."
"If they think I'm going to put up with all that racket for the rest of my life they've got another think coming. I'm going to find them and complain!"
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Last time somebody lodged a complaint, Camus turned him into an ice sculpture."
"So I'll bring a torch, maybe that'll scare him away!"
"Hey, where are you going? Hey!"
"Well, how did it go?"
"Not too well. I heard they were going to fight against some Bronze Saints. They might not want an interruption but I decided to go for it anyhow. First I went to the Aries Temple, but that freak with dots on his forehead refused to listen. Said he got some armors to fix."
"And then?"
"I had my doubts about facing Aldebaran. You know I'd rather deal with someone my own size."
"Not that you have much of a size. So you skipped the Taurus Temple?"
"I went to a bar, had some drink to bolster up my courage."
"So I heard. They had to kick you out because you were ready to perform striptease on your table."
"..."
"Did you see Aldebaran at all?"
"Several hours later. Some of his walls were badly damaged, I happened to notice. I said to him, if he and all the Saints didn't stop being so noisy we masons wouldn't be willing to repair any damage to the Temples anymore. After I said that, I, uh, ran off. He's lost one of his horns and I don't think he was very happy about it."
"What about the Gemini Temple?"
"That place is empty, but then, there has never been anybody there. I couldn't find Deathmask either. Maybe he's gone to look for a new collection of masks. When I left his Temple, I saw Aiolia in the distance, carrying something huge. I mean, it looked like a stranded whale."
"Couldn't be one. It's Aiolia we're talking about, not Captain Ahab. Was the Virgo Temple also empty?"
"Yup."
"Lucky you. Shaka would've given you a free tour to his Six Worlds if you had dared compalin to him. Well, I won't ask about the Libra Temple, we all know Roshi is never home."
"Funny thing is, there were water and shards of ice on the floor. I saw Milo, scrubbing at his floor, when I arrived at his Temple. I started to speak and he gave me a very dirty look. So I thought I'd better leave if I still wanted my head screwed on tight. I headed for straight for the Capricorn Temple, since Aiolos has been dead for long. Shura was nowhere to be found, though."
"Was Camus home?"
"I saw him on the floor, an ice sculpture himself. Finally got a taste of his own medicine. He'd look good in my living room, though."
"Did you meet Mr. Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful?"
"Saw him lying amidst his roses. Great, no one has listened to my complaint so far."
"I heard the reincarnation of Athena is coming to town. She'll probably want to listen."
"You mean that busty babe with long purple hair? That's the reincarnation of Athena?"
"The one and only."
"This just keeps getting better and better. She'll bring more Saints here, and we'll never get a wink of sleep."
"But hopefully they'll practice somewhere not so near the houses of the common folks."
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