Taking Care
by Luna Ayanami (ayanami@highlandgrey.com)
My family is afflicted with wandering feet.
This isn't really a problem. While there is someone small
about, my mother will stay home, not really wanting to go
anywhere. As soon as they are old enough to wander away on their
own without getting horribly lost, my mother is strangely
afflicted with wanderlust again.
I left home when I was 13. I am 19 now.
My youngest brother is 13 now, so there is probably no one at
home. Occasionally we run into each other, or there'll be more
than one of us at home, but it is rare. We do not miss each
other's company much.
So it is strange for me not to be afflicted with wanderlust,
and so suddenly, even.
I am travelling in the east, and come upon such a scene of
destruction and carnage that I am sickened. A village, burning to
the ground. Some of the ruins smolder, and some still burn.
Bodies litter the ground, and the smell of death is horrible. I
pull my cloth from my belt, cover my mouth and nose and clos my
eyes to the damage.
A few days later, I stop to rest in a tree-enclosed clearing
on the path I am following to have something to eat, and am
surprised to find two young boys there, fast asleep in each
others arms. They are so covered in dirt and soot that it is hard
to tell what they look like. They must have been from the
village, and the only survivours. The only clean spots on their
faces are from their tears. I know there is no place along the
path except further along where they could have had food or
water. I am sure they are hungry and thirsty.
I feel my heart pull on some strings I never knew I had, and I
am suddenly struck with the idea not to wander anymore. I sit
beside them in the shade of the leafy trees and wonder how they
will react to me.
I find out moments later. They stir and sit up, their backs to
me, yawning.
"I'm hungry, oniichan," one of them says, almost whining.
"I am too, Shun-chan," the second replies. "I think there's a
village not too far from here."
"I have food," I say, announcing my presense. "I have water
too, if you want some."
They whip around at the sound of my voice. Their eyes are
huge, full of...something I can't identify. Fear? No...hope?
"Why should we trust you?" the first demands, his eyes
changing to anger.
"Shun-chan!" the second admonishes.
"It's quite alright," I say, smiling at them. I reach into my
pack and pull out my thinning food pouch. "I can understand why
you wouldn't trust me. It's not a problem." I lay my cloth down
and set out the little provisions I have left -- some crumbling,
hardening bread, a tiny wedge of cheese, some wrapped sausages. I
lay my waterskin on the edge of the cloth and start to make my
supper. I glance up at them, subtly. They wouldn't have noticed.
Their eyes were fixed on the food.
"Oniichan..." the first whispers. "Is that real food?"
"It is," the second confirms. "I can smell it from here." They
glance at each other for a moment and then crawl towards me,
trying to be unobtrusive.
I smile to myself. As I make the supper, I make three of the
sandwiches which have sustained me for so long and I lay two of
them on the far edge of my cloth for them. As I bite into the one
I have made for myself, I make a show pretending it is the best
meal I have ever had.
"MMMMMMMMM," I say, closing my eyes and smiling as I chew.
"This is the best meal I have had in my whole life!" I take
another bite with much the same reaction.
They cannot help themselves. They take the sandwiches on the
edge of the blanket and crawl a little ways away from me and
devour them quickly. They are too busy eating to notice me pick
up the waterskin and crawl over the cloth to their side.
As they finish stuffing their faces with the sandwich and
notice me there, I hold up the waterskin. "I have water too," I
say. "It's kind of warm now, and certainly not fresh, but it
quenches the thirst." After they swallow the food, I let them
drink some of the water.
"Where are you going?" I ask them as I pack up the remains of
supper, thinking that my supplies won't last nearly as long now.
"The next village," the second boy tells me. "Maybe we can get
an apprenticeship there."
"Tell you what," I say, standing and slinging my pack back
over my shoulders. "I'll go with you to the next village. I was
headed that way anyway."
His eyes light up, while his brother looks suspicious.
"Really? We would be really grateful!" he enthuses.
I offer him my hand, a smile on my face. "Really."
~*~*~*~*~*~
I am surprised that the boys are twins.
I shouldn't be surprised, but I am anyway. We are in the next
village, a nice little town that took us in immeadiately when I
said that "ours" had burned down. They gave us a room in the tiny
inn until a cothouse could be prepared. So we all took advantage
of the inn's bathhouse, little more than a shed with a dug-out
floor lined with uneven wooden boards, but it is more luxury than
I am used to.
They cleaned up well. Everyone in the village wants to take
them in, because they are so adorable. I would have left them
there in the care of someone, but I too am affected by their
green hair and blue eyes. I want to stay with them, look after
them and be the parents they are now without.
I talk it over with the village council. They agree almost
immeadiately to have a house built so that the three of us can
live there. I go to them with a happy feeling suffusing my body.
The boys take it in different ways. The second boy is
enthusiastic about having his own house, built just for him, and
having me there to run it. The first boy is less than impressed.
"Why should I trust you?" he demands again, for the numerous
time in the past few days.
"Because if I don't stay, you will live with someone else in
the village," I tell him. I do not mind his outbursts. "Everyone
thinks I'm your mother anyway." That wasn't quite true; I don't
look anything like the boys, but my mother and my older sister
don't look similar either.
So he grudgingly gave in. A house was built in a few short
months.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Years pass. The twins are now 15 years old. I am nearing 30.
"We're leaving home soon, ha-san," Koutoku-kun says. He
clutches his wooden flute case tightly to his chest. There are
tears in his eyes.
I stare blankly at him for a moment, trying to comprehend what
he is saying. I am afflicted with a disease no one can cure. I
became sick during the winter a few years ago, and while I was
sick, I contracted the disease. It is attacking my mind and body,
and I feel each deteriorating with every passing minute.
"Why?" I finally ask. My voice has become weak and many have
to lean close to hear what I say.
He is silent for several moments and he can't look me in the
eye. He loosens his shirt and pulls it down over his right
shoulder.
There, pulsing dully on his shoulder, is a blue character. It
looks familiar but it is hard for me to think of what it means.
"This is the reason. Shunkoku has one too. You remember the
legend of the Seiryuu Miko and her protectors? This means that
Shun and I are one of them." He leaves his shirt down as he turns
to me again. His tears now stain his cheeks. "I don't want to
leave you ha-san!" he says. "I know you aren't well and I want to
stay until you get better, but I can't! I have this feeling deep
inside...it's pulling me away, and I can't stay."
I am blank for a few moments longer as my failing mind took in
everything he had just said. It finally took hold. My "boys", the
two boys I had adopted when I had found their village burned,
were leaving home. I should be proud. It was a source of pride in
my family when the oldest son or daughter there would leave home.
But I'm not. They are the only family I have had for these
past years, and they are the only children I will ever have.
I can't stop them. I know they will go. I only wonder --
fleetingly -- if Shunkoku will stop in to say goodbye. I doubt
it.
So I drag my body into an upright position, a great feat in my
condition. Koutoku looks shocked. "Why are you moving?" he
demands. "You're supposed to lie still -- " He stops as I lift my
arms and hug him like I used to when he was smaller and he would
have nightmares.
"I had wanderlust," I whisper haltingly. "But I stopped
wandering when I met you and your brother." It is the most I have
said in the past month. "So don't worry about me. I won't worry
about you." I pull away from him, and fix his shirt. It has been
years since I was able to do something like that. Then I wipe
away his tears and kiss him gently. "Good luck," I say and smile.
I see it reflected in his eyes. He smiles back and hugs me.
Then he is gone.
I lay back among my pillows, drained of the little energy I'd
had left.
Shunkoku does come to see me. "You weren't so bad," he says.
"But you can't have Koutoku." With that, he turns and leaves.
I live only long enough to see them go.
===========================================================
Author's ramblings:
This is quite obviously a what-if fic. I was building my
Amiboshi and Suboshi shrine, and thinking about their past and
wondered what it would have been like to have met them when they
were as young as they were when their village was burned. I don't
know if they lived on their own in the manga/anime, so this is
probably a slight alternate reality fic too ^^ Anyway, I hope you
enjoyed it!! Arigato!
--Luna
(
geocities.com/tokyo/temple) (
geocities.com/tokyo)