Allo! I wrote this during algebra class to my friend Christy. You rather have had to have seen Sailor Moon S, Earthian, and know of Pokémon to get an understanding of this, as well as owning a Surfer Bob doll. I don't know if any of you meet these qualifications, but read it if you feel the urge. It's fun (I think...) but rather falls into the Jasut Is Bizarre and Writes Strange Things genre. Write me with flames/compliments/yaoi men!!

Title: 'Twas a brothel/tavern

Author: Jessica Brady (that's a pen name!)

Rating: X for full-frontal nudity and teen drinking

Note: I never said it was good. I just said I had fun writing it.

Once upon a time, there was a great big forest in the middle of somewhere east of here. A girl named Genelle ran the town brothel/tavern where all the Village Brutes went to have a good time. Actually, Genelle did not run the brothel/tavern. The inheritance had been stolen from her by her self-richeous uncle Johan, who was the village priest. He had snatched up the land and profit rights and forced her to live in an upper-middle class suburb with a completely unsatisfactory credit card allowance. Fortunately, since the unemployment rate was lower than it had been since memory, she settled down with a very kind and well-to-do Johova's witness (which rather upset her uncle), who also happened to own a brothel/tavern (there were 2 in the village, which increased gross market average and lowered the deficit) and let Genelle do what she did best: make grilled cheese sandwiches for slobbering idiots.

Well, this was all well-and-good, until some wandering vigilantes by names no one has been able to remember entered the door...

"Musashi!"

"Kojiro!"

"Mimete!"

"Zoicite!"

"Surfer Bob!"

"You must give us your pure hearts!"

"AND your pokémon!"

Genelle was shocked. Evil villains had never bothered her before, and she could not understand this barrage of demands. She scuttled for the door. Zoicite cackled.

"Zoi!"

Genelle was frozen in her place. It seemed she was in trouble. Kojiro and Musashi began stripping the room and taking people's pets. Oh no... this could be the end...

When suddenly, cowboy music was heard somewhere around table #6. It was... Chihaya and Kagetsuya!!! (the brothel/tavern was also a family restaurant, if you're wondering what those two were doing there).

Kagetsuya stood up, angrily. "A family restaurant is a place for good food and good times! How dare you defile this establishment!! Rrgahbthrzg!!!!!!" He attacked the evil villains.

"Ho ho ho ho ho!" laughed Surfer Bob. "Surf board power!" He bonked Kagetsuya on the head, rendering him useless.

Chihaya, who had been waving a little Kagetsuya flag cheerfully, fell silent. They were all so screwed......

Musashi, Kojiro, Mimete, Zoicite, and Surfer Bob, and Genelle (who believed it was safer to go along with the bad guys than oppose them) went around all the tables, taking all the pokémon and pure hearts and surf boards. They were all quite giddy with success. Some of the villains went to Chihaya's table. There were no pokémon, and Mimete was busy at another table. Kojiro was feeling malicious, so rather than just moving to another table, he grabbed Chihaya's "box 'o yummy creampuffs."

Big Mistake.

Chihaya, who was now MIGHTY tired of people stealing his creampuffs, sputtered indignantly and pounded Kojiro in the chest. Koji-chan was inclined to laugh until he saw darkness and began to faint. "Oh no!" he thought, "It must be a plot point..."

The villains were done for.

The End