What are drug induced hallucinations? I ask, cause I've never had them, but I tell you, I had some wonderful "hallucinations" during those three months! WITHOUT DRUGS. After all, I was promised a magic show for my efforts and that's EXACTLY what I got! The universe is MORE then fair in my estimation. Humanity just has some catching up to do!

The first was on TV. They had a commercial for candy hearts, only it was fall. Perhaps a programming mistake...Except for the heart that read, "Gay Love". I couldn't believe it! Thought someone had slipped one by the execs!

Appreciated it to the MAX, though!

Then there was the night I was fixing pizza, rolling out the dough when a bug walked towards the pizza. With a flick of my hand, well above the table-top, the bug just disappeared. Just, poof! Gone. No, no cloud of smoke, no sound effects, just there one moment, gone the next. RIGHT AS I WATCHED!

(Note Well: I ALMOST typed "With a flick of my MIND", but caught the typo. Was my inner self trying to tell me something? I think so! So I flicked it with my mind, whatever THAT is, folks!)

At the hospital the first trip I hallucinated (and KNEW it was to be noticed but ignored), dead bodies all over the place. Mummified remains in bed. All AIDS victims. I felt a presence explain that one day this will all be in our past, and much learning and understanding gained thereby. AIDS is the pivotal disease of this era. It's a SLOW plague. Advances, TREMENDOUS advances, have already been made in our understandning of DNA and other related fields. We will learn to work WITH the bodies own regenerative capabilities, and understand much more the influence of words-defining-beliefs on health and well-being.

Nor were all the "hallucinations" visual.

One day I was listening to a cd of Judy Garland, her art, her heart.
The cd is a cd of a old recordings so lacks quality. At one moment, I paused not knowing why. The sound blossomed into what I could NOT distinguish from a LIVE concert. It was like she was THERE, in my living room. I snapped up, and the music changed, so I STEPPED backwards in my mind and heard it again. I heard someone ask, "what is he doing?", and I answered, "I'm experiencing it again! It was COOL! You want documentation, don't you?" I've done that before with images in my mind. I relax till images pop up and if I want to see one that flashes past, I 'reverse' my moment. I 'back up' so to speak and catch it again.

Then there was the night that it seemed the BED had a heart when I did not. I'd put my hand between the bed and my heart and feel a beat. When I raised up, with my hand on my chest, I felt NO beat. When I raised up and left my hand on the bed, THE BED had a heartbeat!
Curiouser and curiouser!
Yes, I did feel like David in Wonderland!

I was born under a WONDERING star!

You see this experience showed me HOW I've used those supposedly 'extra-sensory' perceptions all my life. It also expanded my notice of them.

(How did I hear Judy? It was a live event folks and no event ever dies. (All times are simultaneous!) The event is there in the perceptions that are OURS. So I connected to someone who was THERE. I didn't ASK who. WE ARE ETERNAL, in other words, our nonphysical selves are not confined by time! I wish we'd get over death being the gateway to anything FINAL.)

I'm just SPEAKING about them now. They aren't EXTRA! They're built in! Others helped me notice it, that's ALL. I communed with MANY, I just wasn't interested in their NAMES!

The first trip to emergency, where nobody told me anything except what I was going to do, which was submit to a battery of tests, I thought we were doing a time-warp half-step, or something like that. I was 'told' that the rest of the world was going to take a step backwards for my sake. It filled me with the most intense gratitude I've ever known.

Then I saw two people I THOUGHT I knew. My piano teacher, Roy Bogas, who taught me so much about just going with the flow, and that the most natural rythm in humanity is the TRIPLET rhythm, and Stephen Sondhiem, my favorite theatre creator.

I like the sound of that. We're ALL "theatre creators" in a sense! It's THAT sense I'm aware of now. We're ALL artists!

Some KNOWS it, somes don't

Should you do hallucinogens to see what I saw? I say no, it didn't do Timothy Leary much good. You wouldn't have the UNDERSTANDING I had while going through it, you see. It CAN happen NATURALLY! And you'll REALIZE that it was deserved rather than "brought about chemically". I've known this all my life. I was called Starko-Narco by one High School buddy. Not because I judged and squealed, but because I'd pass on the drugs at parties, thinking that I felt good enough as it was.

LOVE is the best drug in town.

And it's FREE!!!!

for the GIVING.

And if you give, the universe will give back. It truly is that simple.

GIVE instead of want.

Accept graciously and appreciatively when another throws you grace...

Frankly, I'm having to relearn this as I WANT to experience life that way always, but damn, it's distracting. Kenny was very upset that I was ignoring HIS needs, needing so much concentration to follow it all. He had to get my attention before he could ask a question, I was so involved, internally!

On another note, medicine is, unfortunately, my necessary religion. Yeah, I got a pill religion from this experience. They told me NOT to ignore society's beliefs, just incorporate them into my considerations. That's "working WITHIN the system"!

You don't have to be out front to make a difference, either.

The more you are yourself, the bigger difference you will BE.

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