My new news page
March 13 , 1999, :Yes, I am finally updating since I haven't for almost a month. But now I am home on spring break, so ha. And I think I need to do something with this page to make it smaller, because the editor is going psycho on me. Oh well. I went to see Carrie 2 with Laura last night. That was fun. Woohoo. Killing stupid people. I always like that. I'll be home for a week now. Bored. February 16 , 1999, :
Wow, two updates in a week, feel lucky, my little chicky monkeys? You had better. A few months ago I was rambling on and on about this song about "Your momma's on crack rock"....well, I found proof of its existance, AND even found a site that has the mp3 for it, but unfortunately, I can't get through to the site. The song is by The Dogs and is called "Crack Rock" (big suprise there...) and is off of a penis-sterio-esque album called "Miami Bass." Yes, this means that Shawn doesn't share my taste in music. Oh well. It kinda frightens me when men do. I mean, what kind of man listens to angry chick music? Well, Ani's "Not angry anymore" and she sings very openly about sex, and relationships, without putting gender constraints on them most of the time, probably because she's bi, but that's one of the reason's she's so fucking awesome!!!!! Oh, and nobody bothered to call me. :pppppppppppp And all I got for Valentines day is a shirt and candy from my parents. Nice to know people love me. Yeah, yeah, I'm bitter. Well, it is 3:30am, and I have class in 2 and a half hours. I can't sleep. But I did get an awesome massage today. Deep tissue massage. Proffessional. For once in my life, my muscles in my back aren't tense. Woohoo. Ok, I think its time to stop rambling and get some sleep. Goodnight everybody. February 12 , 1999, :
Ok, Yes, I'm updating finally again! Well, I'm at home right now and of course I actually have time to dick around on the internet now that I'm home for the weekend, 'cause theres reletively little to do here. Not much exciting has happened anyways. Dissecting a fetal pig in bio....traumatising for me. Didn't get into a single freaking dance for CDC. PISSY!!! And I got out of my sickbed to do the audition. I was so delerious when I did the first set of auditions. Heard from my Shawn on Monday. He got my package. The cake didn't make it. The phone conversation bothered me. He seemed very distant. And I can't even get an answer from him about it until Tuesday or later because he has to go out in the fucking field and do shit. So if any of you give a shit enough to call me when I am home, I might not be in a very chipper mood. But any of you that give a shit...I'm home...bored....call me. January 30 , 1999, :
Yes, I know, Its been forever since I've updated. I hope you are all happy now. Lets see....I'm back in Eau Claire now. I got my suspension dropped, and so I'm just on academic probation now. Have to get a 2.0 and pass 75% of my classes. Joy I have easy boring classes right now. I audition for new dances for CDC starting monday. Wish me luck. Everyone from home is out tonight. :pppppp. I'm stuck in daryland hell. GRAR! I think when I get older, I want the personalised license plate of GRRRRRRR....I think people would stay away from me then. BWAAHAAHAA...then again, I think the idea of me with a car would just be enough to scare most people. Besides that, I baked a cake, sending it to Shawn on Monday. Along with some other valentines type stuff. I've resolved to go to a strip club on valentines day, since I'm not getting any surprises or such this year. I'm just hoping for a phone call. January 22, 1999, :
I had an idea at 4am last night. I want to go to San Diego for New Years next year. Maybe with the original San Diego trip people. It would be greatly fun. But expensive. But I think I want to go to California one of these days anyways. Mostly to see Shawn, but oh well. January 21, 1999, :
So, it seems that more people than I realised are reading this. It seems that many people from the WF group or parts therein read me, and were very amused by my retorts about a certain incident, which I no longer wish to remember, for the person involved brings nothing but stress into my life, and I don't think I want him involved in my life any more than neccesary. And also there was the unfortunate incident where my sister went to my page...you can imagine what she said to me... So, that was interesting. But ah well. I'm gonna be making cookies one of these days. To send to my sweetheart. Poor boy eating military food. January 20, 1999, :
Well, I got another call from Shawn today. He got his wisdom teeth taken out today. And he's on bedrest. And here I am, remembering when I got mine surgically removed, and I went and played oboe the next day......am I more tolerant to pain, or is he a wuss??? Or is it just that the military is nice? hmmmmmmm............. January 19, 1999, :
Kay put a funny-ass quote on her page from Chad from Saturday. She is now one of my heros. Well, kinda. Quasi-hero? I am now bawking along with my sister's class guitar cd, while she is playing cheezy beginning songs. The Jewish ones are fun. I like Shalom Chavarim. And Hava Nagila, or as we sang at MCAE Adva Nagila (there was a girl named Adva...) And I forgot to mention before...I'M HAPPY!!! Vikings lost. That means no more hype!!! Now just for the impeachment trial to be over... Most of the American people are happy with Clinton.... The Sentate and House is supposed to do what the people want... What's wrong with this picture.......????? GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR January 18, 1999, :
I was just watching a biography thingy of Gypsy Rose Lee. It was interesting. Maybe I should become a stripper. Maybe not. I think I'm severely deficient in the chest area. Ah well. Oh, and I refuse to be called a "self-actualizing juggernaut" anymore. The original Juggernaut is diety related with the Hindu Siva (god of destruction) and is a hideous statue of a face on a cart and during the festival of Juggernaut, many worshipers cast themselves down under the cart, killing themselves. Although that is not what they meant by calling me a juggernaut, I don't think I can take it as a compliment, now that I know what it REALLY means. January 17, 1999, :
Went out with the harem last night. We went to Arbys, then to Docs and shot pool while peoples played annoying country music on the jukebox. And then we went to Bakers Square and had pie. Then I went home and did e-mail then tried sleeping but this one muscle or tendon in my back hurt really bad so it took forever for me to get to sleep. And then this afternoon, Shawn called. Yay. He got his first ribbon. And he shares his views on cat control with me....kitty in the microwave... We talked until his phone card ran out. Oh, and just having read Ryan Hale's page...sorry, but I have no longer my response to his letter, so all I have is my copy of his e-mail, and I kinda want to forget that he exists, and that is why I removed it. January 15, 1999, :
Not much new, once again. I was earlier practicing dance, since I want to get good so I can get into dances this semester. My back hurts. OOOOWWWWWowowowowwwwww...... Ok, today I got asked by Shawn... "If I told you the sky was green, what would you say?" He's done this before. Some sort of personality type test. GRRRRRR! And I guess he sent a letter with a song and 10 questions... which I have not gotten yet.... January 14, 1999, :
As you might notice, I've gotten rid of some stuff here. If you come across a broken link, I've deleted that page. January 13, 1999, :
Today I... A. Got more drugs B. Got my permit renewed. C. Found out me and Shawn both had pound puppies as kids. D. Played Mah Jong on Yahoo, and WON!!! E. ummm....I dunno.....got annoyed with people?? So, its been a fairly good day. Especially considering I slept only from 6am-11am. But I am really tired so me go to bed. G'night. January 12, 1999, :
I have accomplished more now. That night I stayed up all night and I finished one composition and worked on another. And yesterday I watched Ally McBeal which is always good. And today I got an e-mail from Shawn, and I got Luke to sleep which was pretty good, since he rarely cuddles with me, and he was really tired and onrey. January 10, 1999, :
I have done nothing today. Oh well. And its still Christmas break, so oh well. I care not. January 9, 1999, :
"Shakespeare in Love" is a really good movie. Cute guys in Elizabethan costume. And Queen Elizabeth was a pretty awesome character in herself. And some great sex scenes. Oh, and there's "strip-o-grams" on the internet...but its not very free. damn. But me and Beht had a great time looking at the male ones. oh yeah....male porn.... January 8, 1999, 3:18AM:
Ok, I know everyone on the planet now hates me, so feel free to send me appropriate hate mail and such. Just understand, I'm not the most mentally stable right now and I just am trying to do what's best and to protect the ones I love. January 7, 1999:
Well, Luke was up periodically until around 6am. That means I did not sleep until 6am. Hence I am really tired. And yes, I'm still in a pretty bad mood. It just seems like the whole freaking world is against me. And its not a nice feeling. I finished this book I've been reading last night. It ends with the main character killing herself. Nice. Happy. Oh yeah. With a drug overdose. Yummy. And I STILL haven't heard from Shawn. And I watched ER just now and they had a private in the army getting killed. Oh yay. But tomorrow is Friday. As if that really means anything to me. Considering my life is going NOWHERE because I still have a little under 20 days until I go back to UWEC. Fun. January 6, 1999:
Well, the darling little Luke is sick. Really sick. The only good thing about it is that he's a cuddle bunny when he's sick. But not good that he is sick. Bad. Evil. Other than that, I had a little mental breakdown yesterday. Not much fun, but not that different for me. I ended up making a film box into confetti, and tearing up an old advent calender into small pieces. I have this thing for tearing up cardboard. So now I have lots of little cardboard pieces. I started to have another one today but decided to play with my pastels instead and made some pretty pictures. Kinda sad, but pretty pictures. January 5, 1999:
"You know, I had a great aunt once who said if you stare at a beautiful woman too long, you turn to stone. She was partially right." as said by Richard Fish on Ally McBeal. January 4, 1999:
"Que Sera Sera....whatever will be, will be" That's how I feel right now. I watched the first episode of Ally McBeal tonight. It was great. Got me into a sentimental mood though. That and not hearing from Shawn. I wrote him a letter last night, so as soon as he gets it he should be calling me since I gave him phone cards and other ways to call me. But it still makes me sad. And makes me remember what happened with him. I mean, what is worse than someone cheating on you with a close friend. I understand it now which helps alot. And I know that he did care about me, and still does. But it doesn't help my meloncholy mood. Great...and what comes on the radio but "Angel" by Sarah McLauchlan, which reminds me of the movie "City of Angels" which is beautiful, but sad. And it is a very touching scene when they play the song. Makes me want to touch him...hold him... and NO, this doesn't make me dependant on men, it just means that sometimes I miss having one. and not just any guy.... I wish everyone could see how wonderful Shawn is.... like the last time we talked, he had just watched "The Princess Bride" which is one of my favorite movies, and I didn't even know that he liked it, and the hero...Will?...reminds me of him, especially in the beginning where all he says is "As you wish" since he used to ask me what I wished for. And I HATE the implications of war with Iraq because I don't want him to be sent over there. What a foolish, foolish girl I am. To fall in love.... January 3, 1999:
I played with my pastels today. It was fun. I got horribly dirty. Hehe...as if my mind is not already that way. I should get some oil paints like laura...get REALLY dirty. Oh, and me and my sister got thrown down the stairs.... by a 1 year old..... unfortunately, or is that fortunately...it was only our pictures. School starts tomorrow for U of M people....BWAAHAAHAAA!!!!! My school doesn't start for another...oh 22 days. Now all you people can kick my ass. BWAAAAAHAAAAHAAAA!!!! January 2, 1999:
Today has been one hell of a day. Got my grades.....oh dear. Lets just leave it at that. January 1, 1999:
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Oh Yeah Baby! 1999!!! One year till the big one!!! Just went to the Borcherts for the WF peoples party. Got the advance release of "Up Up Up Up Up Up Up" by Ani from Matt. THANKS!! It is so awesome. I'll just be listening to it for a while. But it is AWESOME!!!!!! Ani is one of the few that gives me goosebumps when I listen to her. But anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! and cross your fingers for me 'cause I hope to hear from Shawn soon and such.
December 30, 1998: Not much new. No more cross dressing or such. Slept late today. Yeah. I STILL am trying to find and verify the existance of the "Your Momma's on Crack Rock" song. Tomorrow, it sounds like I'll be going to the Borcherts for New Years. Some people want me to dress really sexy to torment people. Haven't decided if I'm going to or not. December 29, 1998:
Ok, Boog is wearing my sisters clothing....this is interesting. AND he changed into them right in front of me. ACK???? but on the happy side of things, Shawn called me yesterday. He seems to have been calling an averige of 2 times a week. and YES, I know I'm a terrible speller, but I don't feel like trying out how to spell averige right. so MEH! But anyways, Shawn called, and he had gotten a package that I had sent him and seemed very pleased. YAY!!!!!!!!! And I went out shopping with part of the harem yesterday. It was mildly amusing. December 27, 1998:
Ok, I'm going to put off being annoyed by hotmail any more and update this damn thing. Merry Christmas to everyone. I got some great stuff. VCR. Amethyst necklace. Clothes. Fun stuff from friends. Music software, which means I might at some point put compositions of mine on here for you guys to listen to. YAY! I was at house last night, so that was interesting. Hadn't been there for months. I've been too busy and stuck in dairyland hell (Eau Claire). And best of all, my sweetie, Shawn, called me on the 24th and the 25th. Oh yeah baby! And that always brightens my day, and gives me a little shawn-high. But unfortunately, I get the feeling that my family is not crazy about him, but if they'd open their eyes, a bad guy doesn't call you long distance from California twice a week. And he has tried calling twice a week since he left, and we talked every day that he was home practically. But enough about me....how are you??? December 22, 1998:
Ok, sorry about my ranting yesterday. Just needed to let off some steam. But today, I finished my Christmas shopping! YAY! Part of the time however I was shopping with my sister, nephew, and her ex-boyfriend, who was interrogating me about my sex life, and getting frustrated with being unable to embarass me. HEHE!!! AND he bought me and my sister lunch at Old Chicago...YUMMY!!! I keep getting the "Your Momma's on Crack" song that Shawn played for me in my head....AARGH!! Its kinda funny, because I'll start singing it, and nobody knows what I'm singing, and so they think I'm on crack or such. Ah well. "Your momma's on crack rock"..."No, she aint" HEHEHEHEHHEHEHE! Its a great song. I'll have to try finding a mp3 for it sometime. Not now, since I don't have a mp3 player on this computer. Oh, and the harem is getting together tomorrow for our annual Christmas present exchange thingy. YAY! I get to see my Laura, and my Pam and Kay for that matter. But I should be going...but I STILL HAVE THAT SONG IN MY HEAD!!! "Your momma's on crack rock....." December 21, 1998:
I'm home now. HOORAY!!!! Done with all my finals....YEAH! December 18, 1998:
I'm in a better mood now. Back doesn't hurt anymore. Finals week. STRESSSSSSSS!!!!!! ACK! December 11, 1998:
Ok, I am in a horrible mood. Don't mess with me. My back hurts really really terribly, and so I've been in a bad mood for the past 3 days. Actually hung up on a good friend of mine on wednesday. Very much not typical for me. I feel like shouting obsenities very loudly. )(U*$#@&^$#@*)^#$*?@&$@#*&^ That's as close as I'll get. And besides that, I have missed Two phone calls from the infamous Shawn this week, which is nuts since I never get phone calls, and rarely miss the ones that I do get. And now I am wishing and hoping that he calls soon because on his message on my machine yesterday he said he would try to call today. ARGH! Watch, he called in the 5 min I was gone to look at the Wind Ensamble roster for next semester. Which was also another frustrating experience because it doesn't tell me what chair I am, just that I am in it along with two people who are similarly talented but elder. So do I stay the diva of UWEC WE or not?? AND, on Wednesday we had an informal dance concert for concert dance company here, and we auditioned a dance to be in the final concert, and we did a rocking job and we kicked major ass, but they're not gonna let us perform it. PISS OFF ON THEM!!! and I figured out how favoritist CDC is because there are people in almost all of the dances, and there are some (like me) who couldn't do any in the field of dance that they really love (modern). So, I'm just a little mad at the world right now. So if I'm a bitch to anyone, my dearest apologies. December 8, 1998:
Ok, fine, i'm updating. Lots has happened lately. To sum up: Shawn came home, and now has left. He will be gone for 2 years. I had fun while he was home. I am thinking of becoming an oboe performance major. and switching schools. I really really want to go to Peabody Conservatory in Baltimore, Maryland. November 25, 1998:
ok, now shawn is actually home. got home at midnight last night. i'll probably see him once i get back to eau claire. which is sunday. but tomorrow i get to eat turkey!! yay! and PIE...yum. but yes, i am home now. freezing my ass of in the basement. so i'll make this short and sweet and say goodnight. November 21, 1998:
shawn'll be home in 3 hours! yay! (its 9pm) i went to a new counselor today. she's very lutheran. she had the greatest expression when i told her some of the sordid details of my life. i bought a newt yesterday. its name is pookie. its cute. i went to the mall yesterday. saw nate, one of the guys from halloween. that was funny. and i ran into a guy that had come into ritz once and was kinda flirting. urgh. men. and i cleaned today. cleaning frenzy. i'm odd. i've been kinda manic today. urgh. November 17, 1998:October 22, 1998:UPDATE...5:43PM....Shawn's coming home 3 days earlier than before! YAYYAYAYYA!!!! 6 days till he's home!! He's coming in at midnight on the 23rd. Go see my new pictures that I scanned in. They're neat-o. Only 9 days left until Shawn comes home!! YAY!!! And on another note, I haven't been sleeping lately, so I have even more drugs to take. But they seem like they could be really nasty from all the warnings they gave me. grr. and hey...KAY...get home! I have a story to tell ya! November 13, 1998:
Friday the 13th.....watch out! but at least for me today has been very good. because.... SHAWN CALLED........13 days until he is home. thanksgiving day. He's such a sweetheart. I'm so happy! November 12, 1998:
Once again, I am finally updating. Alot has happened recently. and I don't know what to include. Right now, what is on my mind is that the US is going to war. My dear Shawn might very well be there already. I just pray for his safety, and hope that he isn't there at all but instead will be coming home soon. In other news, I met some neat people tonight, who live right downstairs from me. So I am listening to the executive version of the Monty Python and the Holy Grail soundtrack, which one of the guys lent me. And besides talking about the scars on my wrists, or my problems with my many men, I really don't know what to talk about. October 27, 1998:
Yes, I am finally updating. I figured out how to update without totally screwing this thing up, by erasing much of the cool effects. so no cool clip art for now and such. ah well. But, as for my life....school, work. that's about it. besides sleep. which i don't get much of. And, my love life is wonderful for once. Shawn called me on Thursday, and he still cares about me and its only a month until I get to see him. Oh, and me and Shoshana are forming a conspiracy of innocent seeming women to take over the world. More details on that later. But, as for now, I should go to bed. I have class at 8am, and it is after midnight. Until then my faithful followers....
Well, the nice editor isn't working, so hopefully
this will work. that is why i haven't updated for so long
My life has been crazy lately, so I am going to make a page
about that so people know, since most people I know want to
know what's going on with me and shawn,
i know that this is fucking up the previous entry..but i'll fix
it later.
October 14, 1998:
As of last night, I am once again employed. Got my job at Ritz. What fun. And the mall here has a Hot Topic now!!! Which rocks!!!! And I ate real food at Applebees.
Today I got pissed at dumb people in my Psych class. Saying that women should stay home and have children. And saying that homosexuals shouldn't adopt children. Dumb people. GRRR!
But on a good note, my dad's a sweetheart! I wrote him a big e-mail today talking about my depression and Paxil, and he said that I don't have to worry about money, and he's going to look into clinics and such.
October 13, 1998:
ok, after watching some video in Human Bio and Disease, I've decided I'M NEVER HAVING SEX AGAIN!!!!!!!
some of that shit is NASTY! i mean, i don't want little swimming things in my body! and lots of them are deformed and have like two tails and shit....its just nasty! i've seen this stuff before, but this is the first time where i've been able to think, hey, that's what happened when...yeah. ick. urgh.October 12, 1998:
Today has been annoying. First of all, i had a fight with my sister last night. Then I slept through my 8am class. Then I got up, to go to my 9am counselor appointment, and found out, no, my appointment was at 1pm. Went back to bed. Went to my 10 am class, which was cancelled. Went back to bed. Went to my 1pm counseling session. Signed a piece of shit no suicide contract. Went to Wind Ensamble, got there, and looked in the room....oh wait...today's Monday, WE is on Tuesday and Thursday. Went back to sleep. Slept through my 4pm class. And my Ballet class. Got a call at 7:20pm from Allison asking why I didn't stay up the hill. Well, I never went up the hill. That brings us to now. Oh, and they showed some stupid baseball game instead of Ally McBeal.
