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Geezer Hood
What to expect from life now that you are older than dirt!
Oldies stations all play songs too NEW for you to recognize.
You have calluses on your butt from taking baths in tubs that have slip-proof safety sandpaper in the bottom
Your wife has more hair on her face than you do on your head.
Your doctor can't tell where your hemorrhoids end and your varicose veins begin.
When you surprize a burgler breaking into your house and all you can think to do is to whack him with one of your used "Depends".
You can both sleep soundly AND irritate the other drivers on the road, all at the same time.
The prime piece of real estate that you own is a burial plot.