Commentary:  In the words of Jim Rome, "if you're over the age of 11 and you want the force to with you, you're a loser!"

Commentary:  Wow folks, what a bizarre graphic.  It's so funky I might feel the urge to use it in some prominent place on this website.  By the way, if you can tell me what in the heck it's supposed to portray, you might be eligible for a free jj cd.  The figure on the left seems to be brandishing some sort of large arm with a claw, belonging perhaps to some sort of monster...this does raise some disturbing issues about today's youth and their obsession with fantasy role playing games such as Magic, where you do things like rip off monster arms and beat small children with them.  It's really understandable too, after all, that little punk on the right appears to be flicking him off.  I'm glad to see CNN taking a stand against monster armings and bird flippings...damn kids...

Commentary:  Wicked...another form of the virus?  Clearly you can see the implication...Ebola is in the process of mutating because of all you freaks who use instant hand satanizer and antibacterial hand lotion.  What's up with that?  Keep it up and Jammin' Jelly will be oozing out of your eyeballs!

Commentary:  Coincidence?  We highly doubt it...more likely the powers that be were trying to keep Jesse's ugly mug off the air in an attempt save U.S. credibility.  This story really hits home for Jammin' Jelly...we understand how it feels when a powerful blast is ripped...

Commentary:  Damn Canadians, always trying to mimick our disfunctional society.  Their version is always watered down though...this guy didn't even leave any bombs or anything.  Much more disturbing is a little something called MuchMusic...anyone who's ever seen this channel knows exactly what I mean.

Commentary:  As much as this sucks, isn't it blown a little bit out of proportion?  I mean when was the last time you saw a headline saying "NATO planes hit Yugoslav factory, killing 300 lowly, dedicated Serbian factory workers"  or more significantly "15 black youth killed in Ghetto High?"  Really the widespread panic and paranoia being caused is preposterous.  I'm sick of sitting in classes and listening to spoiled middle-class white wankers (like Jammin' Jelly) whining because our school is just like Columbine.  More disturbingly, though, one Stow  student (who wears a trench coat...ooooohhh!) was suspended for running his mouth at lunch about the incident.  Another student was suspended for posting a website with a hit/hate list (and because he's an unpopular nerd)...not that his page was necessarily sane, but really I think we need to keep an eye on constitutional rights like free speech here.  This is America dammit, where Dr. Dre can talk about bustin a cap in yo mouth and smokin a $ of weed without getting prosecuted.  The worst problem in our high schools today are overly-disciplinarian Nazi administration members who think that all kids are bad, while getting their kicks out of layin' the smack down on anyone who walks into a class 5 seconds late.  Lastly, guns suck...though it is important to preserve our right to bear arms, the world would be a much better place if we went back to a society where "bearing arms" meant hiding that dirty old Lousiville Slugger under your bed. (Go Johnny!)  Afterall, who was the last person to go on a "batting rampage"?

Commentary:  This rocks...nothing amuses us like watching our ordnances pound the infrastructure of weak little countries like Yugoslavia...that Milosevich seems a rather wicked little man anyway.  I propose that Jammin' Jelly be sent to the region to entertain the Kosovoan refugees with our improvised jams and witty antics.  Maybe we could drive though the bread line an ask for a Jammin' Jelly ration pack...