Vykk's Poetry

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HOPE IS A CURSE

For me hope is a curse
Lately it has become the bane of my existence
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Why do I keep looking for something I know doesn't exist?
Every day I look to try and find the truth
I hope that the truth has become what I want it to be
My mind sees things that make it happy
It sees things that make me think
'Maybe this time it's true, it's really happening, it does exist'
But then my mind sees the real truth
And it all comes crashing down around me
For a while I'm hurt, feeling broken up inside
But like all wounds, with time the pain fades and I move on
And for a while I can forget my hopes and be free
But then I'm drawn back, doing it all over again
I'm trapped in an endless cycle
Why can't it happen or exist or be?
All I want is happiness
I want my life to stop being the empty shell that it is
An empty meaningless container of nothingness
But no I'm not upset, I'm not angry I'm just having trouble accepting things the way they are
Each time I go through this cycle I swear I won't do it again
But I will and I know this
Why will I endure the pain that I know will come
Because for me hope is a curse

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