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You may have noticed we've missed a few months of Workplace2001, jumping from March to June. It's because we've been busy. In a nutshell: 
 

• In April we completed our new book Conflict Prevention In The Workplace - Using Cooperative Communication. It is now available (ISBN 0-9683722-7-9). In this month's newsletter we are including a chapter from this book.

• We are just dotting the i's and crossing the t's on a book deal with McGraw-Hill to produce a new book on PERFORMANCE MANAGEMENT. The McGraw-Hill book will complement our own book called "A Critique of Performance Management systems - Why Don't They Work?" It's a very tight schedule to publication, which means it should be in book stores early, but will be taking up most of our time for the next six weeks. Hence, this newsletter may continue on an occasional publication schedule.

Conflict In Organizations - An Overview  

One workplace issue that generates frequent expressions of emotion, frustration and anger is conflict. For some people it makes their workday just a little less enjoyable. For others, the frequency and intensity of workplace conflict around them makes them a bit more than "uncomfortable". And for some people, workplace conflicts have reached the point where they are at wit's end, where they consider leaving the organization. Workplace conflict, once it reaches certain levels does something more than cause minor problems. Organizations and teams frequently immersed in conflict situations tend to have lower morale levels, lower productivity, higher turnover, and more employee burn-out. If you think for a moment about your own workplace experiences, you will easily understand what we mean. Even a single ongoing "personality conflict" can make coming to work a dreaded process.  

Before we discuss other issues about workplace conflict and how each of us can work to prevent it, we need to understand what workplace conflict means, and the different kinds of conflict that occur. Some conflicts are actually good; some not so good, and some downright ugly.  

The Inevitability of Conflict  

Conflict occurs naturally when people interact. Eventually if you and I are working together on a work task, we are going to disagree about how something should be done, or what each of us should be doing to get the task done, or perhaps some other issue like how I might be treating you, or vice versa. That's normal, and in fact there is a positive aspect about it. When you and I disagree, and even get into heated conversation, it means that you and I CARE enough about the issue to take a stand and advocate and argue for what we believe is best.  

Teams, organizations, and even individuals need conflict interactions to grow. New ideas can emerge from conflicts--new ways of thinking and doing things that can be useful to everyone.  

So long as we work together in teams and organizations, and people care about what they are doing and how they are treated, we will have disagreements and conflict in the workplace. We can't eliminate all conflict. Neither would we want to because we would lose an important way to grow our teams, organizations and ourselves.  

The catch is that there are two kinds of conflict that are not growth producing or productive. The first is conflict that is unnecessary--that occurs as a result of the language we use with each other. For example, if, in a meeting, I call another team-member an "effing idiot", I would be creating a conflict which is not likely to be productive or constructive. The second kind of conflict is conflict that, regardless of the issue, is dealt with in ways that make the conflict unresolvable, and where each person's behaviour is akin to throwing gasoline onto a fire.  

Good Organizational Conflict  

Good organizational conflict is conflict and disagreement that allows the organization or people in it to grow, solve problems more effectively, and counter-balance the inertia that most organizations develop. Good organizational conflict contributes to helping people examine that which the take for granted, old ways of doing things that may no longer be optimal, and stimulate creativity and problem solving.  

For organizations to benefit from conflict a few things need to happen. People in the organization need to be able to separate the personal, emotional aspects of conflict from the problem-solving parts. When people become overly invested in their positions, they tend to make organizational enemies as conflicts become more and more personalized. Personalization means that people forget they are on the same side and see each other as very personal enemies.  

Second, people in the organization need the skills and understanding required to interact in conflict situations so they avoid escalating conflicts into the bad and ugly ranges. They need to understand how to "fight fair", and stay focused on problem-solving.  

Ugly Conflict  

Ugly conflict is the flip side of the coin. Ugly conflict occurs when the conflict is unnecessary or is handled so it becomes a personal confrontation between the people or sides. What starts as a reasonable disagreement escalates into a situation where considerable bad feelings are generated, and the shift is made to "defeating" each other, rather than solving the initiating issue.  

People often use the term "personality conflict" to refer to ugly conflict between two people, particularly when the situation has occurred over time and over many issues. It isn't that two people involved in a personality conflict have a specific identifiable disagreement. They just can't stand each other. If one says white the other says black. When one says let's go for pizza, the other wants chinese food, almost on principle. And, above all, people involved in this kind of ugly conflict use language differently than people engaged in constructive conflict.  

The effects of ugly conflict or personality conflict are profound. First, ugly conflict creates some very powerful negative emotions on the part of the people involved. They waste considerable time and energy trying to "defeat" the other, lobbying for support, and generally being angry. Second, ugly conflicts are disruptive for the team. As these conflict play out (and they are often unresolvable because there is no central issue to resolve), the team has to suffer through wasted effort and time, particularly if other team members get pulled into the emotional firestorm, take sides, and lower their ways of communicating to the level of the people involved directly in the ugly conflict. If other team members are forced to be observers of such conflict, feelings of discomfort and lack of trust and security can result. After all, if George and Fred can get into these kinds of ugly things, it could happen to anyone.  

Apart from your own gut feelings, you can recognize ugly conflict using the following characteristics:  

conflict between the parties runs for a long time and across many issues  

people have given up resolving the conflict and have moved to trying to score points, rather than problem-solve  

people in the conflict focus on personal issues, such as styles, ways of talking, and personal qualities such as loyalty, rudeness.  

people are often labelled.  

participants look to a higher authority to "fix" the problem using power (e.g.. going to the boss to have someone fired or disciplined).  

Contributors to Ugly Conflict In The Workplace  

Conflicts move from "good" to ugly in a number of ways. In addition to the ways people interact, organizations as a whole "conspire" to create ugly conflict. If we look at organizations that tend to foster a great deal of ugly conflict, we find that they seem to share some or all of the following. Managers and supervisors are almost always an integral part of the problem. Most of the ugly strategies used by managers, employees, and organizations as a whole are based on the repression of conflict or by shifting the conflict issue from the a specific issue to personal issues.  

Ugly #1: Nonaction  

The most common repressive strategy is nonaction doing nothing. Now, sometimes, doing nothing is a smart thing to do, provided the decision to do nothing is well thought out and based on an analysis of the situation. Most of the time, people "do nothing" about conflict situations for other reasons, such as fear of bringing conflict into view, or discomfort with anger.  

Unfortunately, doing nothing generally results in conflict escalating, and sets a tone for the organization..."we don't have conflict here". Everyone knows you have conflict, and if you seem oblivious, you also seem dense and out of touch.  

Ugly #2: Administrative Orbiting  

Administrative orbiting means keeping appeals for change or redress always "under consideration". While nonaction suggests obliviousness since it doesn't even acknowledge the problem, orbiting acknowledges the problem, but avoids dealing with it. The manager who uses orbiting will say things like "We are dealing with the problem", but the   
problem never gets addressed. Common stalls include: collecting more data, documenting performance, cancelling meetings, etc.  

Ugly #3: Secrecy  

A common means of avoiding conflict (or repressing it) is to be secretive. This can be done by employees and managers. The notion is that if nobody knows what you are doing, there can be little conflict. If you think about this for a moment, you will realize its absurdity. By being secretive you may delay conflict and confrontation, but when it does surface it will have far more negative emotions attached to it than would have been the case if things were more open.  

Ugly #4: Law and Order  

The final "ugly strategy". Normally this strategy is used by managers who mistakenly think that they can order people to not be in conflict. Using regulations, and power, the person using the approach "leans on" people to repress the outward manifestations of conflict.  

Of course, this doesn't make conflict go away, it just sends it scuttling to the underground, where it will grow and increase its destructive power.  

Summary  

People tend to look at conflict in the workplace as being negative. In reality, we will never eliminate conflict, and if we attempt to do so, we will probably only force some of it underground. Conflict can be an effective way for everyone to grow, learn and become more productive and satisfied in the workplace.  

Or, as you well know, it can make everyone miserable. That brings us back to the point of this book.  

We need to look at conflict as an opportunity, being aware that a good amount of the time, conflict brings bad things, and sometimes really ugly things. The trick for organizations, and people is to do everything possible to prevent ugly conflict from occurring and to prevent small conflict from escalating in major, long term war in the workplace. We can live with some conflict. What we can't live with is conflict that is trivial, destructive, personal and wastes time.  

In order to prevent destructive conflict, and to deal with it effectively we need to understand something about what conflict is about.  

Conflict can occur for many reasons. It occurs when people have legitimate differences of opinion on a subject, and care about the issue at hand. It also occurs as "death by a thou   
sand blows". Sometimes two people, through the way they interact on a day-to-day basis develop a dislike of each other to the point where they will argue, debate and even insult each other at the drop of a hat. There is no one specific issue in these kinds of conflicts, and if you ask one or the other of the combatants what is going on they will probably cite a "personality conflict" or some general statement of dislike. This kind of conflict is almost always destructive to an organization, since without a clear cause, it cannot be resolved. As time goes on the behaviour of the combatants gets worse with other non-combatants drawn into the fray. After a point, the damage is so bad that it can't be fixed without moving someone, or isolating the combatants somehow, although even that doesn't always eliminate the closed door backbiting and gossip that comes with this ugly territory.  

We are going to focus primarily on preventing this kind of unnecessary conflict, because it is the source of most organizational grief. And, believe it or not, it CAN be prevented to a great degree. We can be less concerned about the conflict that occurs due to legitimate differences of opinion, although we need to address how to conduct those kinds of discussions so they don't escalate into destructive personalized conflicts.  

KeyPoints  

1) Conflict in the workplace is inevitable and occurs because people care about what they are doing.  

2) Workplace conflict can be productive or non-productive. It can help people and teams grow, or it can retard growth, waste huge amounts of time, and make workplace life miserable. In short conflict can be "good" or it can be ugly.  

3) Whether disagreement results in good or ugly outcomes depends on how the disagreements are handled and whether conflicts are necessary and important to getting things done.  

Our goals regarding conflict are to:  

handle disagreements so they do not become ugly ongoing conflict.  

reduce or eliminate unnecessary conflict, recognizing that we can't eliminate all conflict.  

Preface   

Conflict In Organizations - An Overview (READ NOW)  

The Inevitability of Conflict  
Good Organizational Conflict  
Ugly Conflict  
Contributors to Ugly Conflict In The Workplace  
Summary  
KeyPoints  
   

Cooperative VS Conflict Provoking Communication  

Cooperative Vs. Conflict-Provoking Communication  
The Essential Difference: Cooperative Communication  
The Psychology Beneath Cooperation & Confrontation...16  
What Angers People Or Primes The Conflict Pump  

• Lack of Listening/Understanding
• “Less Than” Communication
• Communicating Mistrust
• Violations of Conversation Rules
• Blatant Generalizations
• Power/Status-Based Communication
• Other Sources

Specific Conflict-Provoking Behaviours  

Conflict-Provoking Behaviours  

• Person Centred Comments & Criticism
• Past Centred Comments
• Guilt-Induction Attempts
• Blaming Comments
• Inappropriate Reassurance and Positive Thinking
• Unsolicited Advice/Commands
• Lengthy Attempts At Persuasion
• Defensiveness-Causing Questions
• Extended Attempts To Win
• Mistrust Statements
• Overstatements and Over-generalizations
• Infallibility Comments (and qualification comments)
• Histrionic Behaviour (Overdramatization)
• Use Of Hot Phrases and Words
• Words or phrases that suggest disinterest
• Phrases that blame or imply blame or suggest ignorance
• Absolute words
• Phrases that suggest helplessness (brush-offs)
• Phrases that have a threatening undertone
• Phrases that challenge or dare
• Use of Code Words and Innuendo
• Passive-Aggressive Behaviour

(summary-presents more cooperative oriented language and behaviour that can be used to replace conflict provoking behaviour. Concludes with a handy replacement chart that can be used as an on the job reference.)  

General Cooperative Communication Strategies  
.  
Active Or Reflective Listening  
Empathy Responses  
Assertive Behaviour  
Responsiveness  

• I. Steps In The Responsiveness Process
• II. The Responsive Team Member’s Creed
• Keypoints: Responsiveness Checklist

Effective Teams  
Establishing Guidelines, Norms, and Processes  
How Do You Make Rules & Guidelines A Reality?  
The Role of Those In Formal Authority  
   

Also, sections on electronic communication, how to handle people who insist on behaving badly and a question and answer section.  

Over the last while our clients have requested that we do more conference speaking and keynotes. One reason is that we provide a different perspective on a number of subjects which has best been describes at pointing out that the "emperor is stark naked". Too many fads, too many abuses of management and training  techniques,  and we are particularly good at highlighting myths in the common wisdom.    
    
If you are looking for something different for your conference or get together, let us know. We promise a dynamic, energizing and thought provoking presentation that will get people's attention, and get people talking.    

We custom design our presentations but here are just a few sample topics:    
   

Why Performance Management Fails (and what to do about it)     
Training Scams That Trainers Play    
Why Most Training is A Bad Investment     
Cooperative Communication = The Core Team Skill     
Defusing Hostile Customers 

Teams & Personal Responsibility     
Dealing With Difficult Parents (for educators)     
How To Make Strategic Planning Work 

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Need A Speaker?Have a comment on this article? Click to send email  
 

Do you communicate effectively? The following little checklist was originally intended for managers but applies to everyone. Use it as a quick way to assess yourself,  or as a ten point reminder prior to important communication 
  

1) I can explain and use active listening processes. 
  

2) I can explain the significance of congruency in communication and  monitor my own communication for incongruency. 
  

3) I am effective in bringing conflict out in the open and defusing it. 
  

4) I understand how communication styles can function to cause  communication problems, and actively seek to modify my  communication to fit different styles. 
  

5) I understand how emotional states and selective perceptions affect  my own communication and that of my staff. 
  

6) I am aware of the effect of culture and background on  communication, and use flexible communication techniques to  address these factors. 
  

7) I have thought about my own contribution to creating effective communication in this organization, and actively attempt to  increase my contribution. 
  

8). I recognize that the words I use may mean one thing to me and  something entirely different to someone else, depending on their  experience. 
  

9) I understand the concept of information overload, and use  techniques to avoid it when I communicate. 
  

10) I regularly check with the other person to make sure he or she is  understanding my message the way I intended it. 

The Editor's Desk 

The Workplace 2001 newsletter is a free service of Bacal & Associates and is available on the internet. 

The Workplace 2001 newsletter is available in two ways. It will be posted on the internet at our web site, or you can subscribe for free and receive it in your mailbox. Subscription is simple. Just send us an email requesting that you be placed on our PSM mailing list. However, to take advantage of this option you will need either an e-mail program that can read html or any recent internet browser.    

E-mail versions are now sent in a single html document. That means we can't make the newsletter quite as attractive as we might like, but it makes things much much simpler at your end. (We hope). Please e-mail your comments to rbacal@escape.ca.    

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Influencing Your Boss - Getting Heard Help Card 

As a thank you to our paid subscribers, we have included, in this month’s PSM   
Newsletter a copy of our newest help card: “Influencing Your Boss — Getting Heard.   
   
For organizations to benefit from new ideas and suggestions generated by those that work in it, two things need to happen. First, idea originators need to know how to present them to decision makers in ways that increase the likelihood of the ideas being listened to. While some people suggest that ideas are adopted based on “organizational politics” often it is the well presented ideas that prevail; sometimes to the detriment of better solutions.   

Second, decision-makers need to both encourage and foster new ideas, keeping an open mind to others’ suggestions.   
   
It is probably accurate to state that most organizations lose a considerable amount of good effective innovative ideas because decision-makers are not always open to new ideas, or idea originators lack some of the knowledge and skills needed to put them across in compelling ways.   
   
Our new help card entitled “Influencing The Boss — Getting Heard is designed to   
provide suggestions to help people present their ideas to decision-makers in a more   
effective way.   
   
If you are a manager you may find that the tips on the card help you communicate with your boss. Or, purchase copies to give to staff to help them communicate with you.   
   
If you aren’t a manager...well, we all have bosses, don’t we?   

If you have access to the internet you can preview this helpcard by clicking here while you are connected. You can order this help card by clicking here  

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The following outlines our Defusing Hostile Customers Seminar For Government. Similar seminars can be designed for various private sector contexts (call centers, retail, service industries). All seminars are custom designed for clients.  

Who Will Benefit From This Seminar  

Any government employees (including supervisors or managers) who deal with difficult, angry and volatile clientele in person or on the phone.  

Benefits & Outcomes  
  

• More complaints & problems can be dealt with without managerial involvement.
• Reduction of time needed to manage or resolve difficult situations by applying non-argumentative techniques to help clientele “hear”
• Increases workplace safety through prevention.
• Increases staff confidence dealing with volatile situations.
• Tactics learned can also be applied to interactions with co-workers.

• Built from ground up for government staff and situations.
• All seminars custom-designed and use examples and cases from your workplace
• Uses script analysis techniques to provide practice opportunities - a low stress approach.
• Builds both specific skills and understanding of angry and hostile dynamics, so participants can continue to improve “on the job”.
• Seminar manual serves as both workbook and reference book.
• Cost effective. Per person costs can be as little as $55.00 per person for customized seminars.
• By training all staff in your workplace, allows staff and managers to work together as defusing teams.
• Seminar Options
• Available in one day, two day formats.
• One day seminar can be split into two half-day seminars delivered on consecutive days.

• How to prevent small conflicts from becoming time-eating, stress-provoking situations
• How to maintain self-control amidst the insults and threats.
• How to time and sequence responses so clients will listen.
• How to counter the physically  intimidating person.
• How to use language to prevent escalation and increase cooperation.
• How to use techniques to get angry or hostile people to listen and stop arguing.
• How to avoid sounding bureaucratic.
• How to set and enforce limits when client behaviour is unacceptable.
• How to terminate conversations properly and effectively
• How to deal with telephone hostility
• How to work with supervisor to deal with situations more quickly.
• How to defuse as a team
• How to provide for “face-saving” outs for clients.
• Role of supervisor/manager
• Transparent time-out tactics
• Dealing with audience situations
• Cultural issues

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