| Perhaps a few words about how I learned I was Pagan are in order. As a young child, I was incredibly fascinated by magic in all its forms – my bookshelves and library books were almost all fantastical accounts involving at least one witch or spell or dragon. As I matured, I somehow stumbled onto two new topics: The Holocaust and the Salem Witch Trials, which are really both about the same thing: unreasonable persecution. Looking back, I now know that I gobbled through these books in a frantic search for justification and understanding of the persecution I faced from my peers. I cannot tell you even now exactly why my pre-college peers disliked me so. But I was generally disliked from kindergarten through my senior year of high school. Sometimes I have wondered if it really was my fault – if they had good reason to dislike me. And lately I have been getting the idea that it was my fault. I have an odd personality and am not willing to change who I am for other people. I am a very shy person. I am a very good leader. I am very intelligent and I sound mature when I talk. All of these traits are logically connected to my background. I am the only daughter of two PhDs who continued to speak as they normally did after I was born. Both of my parents have, at one point in their lives, been “terminally” shy. Both of them have learned to overcome this to a certain extent, but, as other shy people will understand, you never really stop being shy – you just get better at not letting anybody else know it. Both of my parents read books to me as an infant – books like The House at Pooh Corner, which is also one of the most commonly used pieces of reading material in colleges across the nation. Ok, so I lied – I don’t know why I’m a good leader. Maybe it’s ‘cause sometimes I’m the only one there to do it – so I have to know how (I hate watching groups bicker). And none of that is telling you about my Paganistic tendencies, of course. Or is it? Back to that fascination with the persecuted… After reading a few books on The Salem Witch Trials, I started learning about the other witch trials in Europe. And I found that most of those persecuted were just different for some reason or another: too good at herbal healing, too intelligent, too independent, or sometimes just too, well… female. At the same time I started to delve into the realities of the persecution of witches, I also started exploring the area of expertise of so many “witches” of old – natural healing therapies, especially herbalism. And through two remarkable books, Juniper and Wise Child (by Monica Furlong), I discovered a way of life that integrated a gentle philosophy of life, herbalism, spirituality through self-discovery, and real magic. All of a sudden I had found the synthesis of what were once separate interests and desires. Those who practice Pagan religions have been persecuted without reason since time immemorial. I sympathize. Although I must admit, I have not been burned at the stake… Pagans do not have, as a required (or even preferable) part of their belief system, the dictate that one must gather in a large group and pay homage to some entity that is above them in every way. Which allows me, as a shy person, to involve myself with as few people as I like and still be spiritual. As an intelligent human being, I am also not forced to believe that there is an entity I must worship – someone I must consider myself to be below in intelligence, strength, creativity, wisdom, etc. I can find my own divinity in the simple acts of walking, eating, or interacting with nature. As an “Epicurean” (I’ll go into that some other time), I take great pleasure in simple acts – I always have. I just take more pleasure now that I am becoming more spiritually aware. (this will eventually come together…) |