I have discovered one of the fundamental differences between men and women.
It happened quite by accident, I don't think he meant to reveal it, but out it slipped one evening. We were talking about nothing, really, just banter back and forth. And I asked the question, the burning question that so many women have asked. The question that, being left unanswered since the beginning of time, has led to misunderstandings, hurt feelings and fights. It went like this:
Me: "Honey, why is it when we first started dating, you doted on me, gave me attention all the time, etc?"
Him: "Huh?"
Me: "You know, the back rubs, the long conversations, shopping sprees"
Him: "HUH?"
Me: "It was a lie, wasn't it? A guy trick to lure me in, bait on a hook. You reeled me in and that's that!"
Him: "WHAT are you talking about???"
I suspected at this point I would join the women across time, who having posed the question, walk away from it feeling baffled and hurt. We know that these men know what we are talking about. It's a ruse, surely. Some misdirection, smoke, and mirrors. It really IS a guy trick, taught in Guy Tactics 101, How To Lure Her In. But I wasn't ready to give up, I persisted.
Me: "So all that time you didn't really MEAN it when you did those things?" (This was one I learned in Girl Tactics 101, The Art of Turning the Tables)
Him: "Ohhhhh, no, no, no. It wasn't a trick."
Me: "Then why aren't you doing it like you used to?"
Him: "Well, it's like this…."
And it was revealed….the great secret, the burning question answered!!!!
Men think there's a bank. I know, sounds bizarre, but it's true. They think there is an attention savings account. They dole it out like it's going out of style, thinking we're stashing some away for a rainy affection day. Women are supposed to intuit this, and draw upon it when we need to.
Now, this doesn't mean that we draw upon it till it's empty, then get the bank filled back up at a later date. No, it's to be used sparingly, this rainy day fund. Because they will NOT fill it back up. We are to use the daily affection as it comes, and draw on the banked affection when absolutely necessary.
The fundamental problem with this, of course, is a simple little technicality. No one TOLD us about the bank!!!! We spent that affection a long time ago! It's gone, kaput, finito. And those women who perhaps have figured out the basics of the Bank Theory, still don't know how much was deposited, and when to use it!!!!
And men say WE are hard to figure out.