Wake Up Call, BY Cheri Hallifax
I don't know where to begin, really. The latest (and most horrific to date) terrorist attack by children at Columbine High School has rocked the very foundation of beliefs in this country.
We within the states are scrambling, desperately trying to find out why this happened, how it could happen, how to prevent it from ever happening again. And we are pointing fingers. Of course we must blame someone, something. There has to be a reason, something we can fix, and quickly.
The children are afraid to go to school now, and the parents are afraid to let them. Those with pre-school aged children wonder how bad schools will be when it's their kids turn, and those without children but planning families wonder if the world is too crazy for kids anymore.
I have a Canadian friend who had decided to move back to Canadian to raise her son, so that he could be safe. But a young man walked into a school there and opened fire the next day. In a small town, in a country whose value systems are more family oriented than the U.S., in a country where guns are illegal, and hardly accessible. And that is almost more frightening than the Columbine massacre. Because it means that no place is safe, no place is immune.
I sit and listen to all the discussion going on right now regarding school safety. There are so many plans being formulated, so many issues being addressed. So much blame being placed in so many different directions.
I need to speak my mind. It has to be said, because it's being skirted and whitewashed. We don't want to deal with underlying issues, we want a quick fix, a Band-Aid, something in place immediately so we can go on complacently with our lives.
Wake up people!
It is not the fault of the guns, they did not fire themselves at those kids. Gun legislation will not make this all better.
It is not the fault of movies, or TV, or video games, and the violence portrayed within. If it were, this would be a far more common occurrence, wouldn't it?
It is not the fault of the Internet. The Internet has become our demon of choice lately. It's easy to blame the faceless electronic means of obtaining information. But do you all really think no one was violent, committed murder, made a bomb, before the Internet? C'mon folks, the information has been out there for a long time, accessible in your local public library.
It's not the fault of the schools. The teachers are professionals, they are paid to do a job, and that job is not teaching morality, values, etc. It is to teach specific academics and that's it. We pitch a fit any time schools do touch on issues outside the scope of the three R's, yet when something goes wrong, the teachers are to blame?
It's not even the fault of two-income families, mothers in the workplace, single parent families. That's easy, and it's sexist. Last time I checked two people were needed to create life. To lay the bulk of responsibility at the feet of mothers is disgusting. Do we even know what the families of these kids were like? It's not something I've heard blared over the 6 O'clock news. Not for this case, or the many cases before it.
So who's fault is it? Am I implying it's the kids themselves? Nope, not at all. Yes, they are responsible for their actions. But I hate to tell you folks, ultimately the parents are responsible. Does that sounds like a contradiction from what I state above? Then read it again. Ok, now let me clarify it.
Parents have gotten lazy, or tired, or overwhelmed. Maybe even a combination of all three. They do not know who their children are, who their kids friends are, or what is important to those kids. They are uninvolved. And why shouldn't they be? They have TV, video games, the Internet, and the teachers to baby-sit and raise their children. They don't NEED to be involved. But if they were involved more, would they not be able to control what their kids watch on TV, what games they play, what they access on the net?
Hell, parents can pursue their own agendas with barely a second thought." Here Johnny, here's your house key, some microwaveable food, and the run of the house. And when I do get home, I won't ask you about your day, what you did in school, what your thoughts and dreams are. Nope. I'll give you a few minutes of my time, more than likely distracted by thoughts of my own busy life."
And later that evening, the parents will catch the late news and hear of a tragedy in some town in Colorado. They will hop right on the bandwagon of placing blame on everything else, and won't know that Johnny is downloading the instructions for pipe bombs at that very moment.
I've seen the debates rage over how to know what your child is doing. Do you rummage through their things, read their notebooks, diaries? Interrogate them?
Hello? Have you waited until now to get to know your child? Have you only just decided to lay down rules, enforce them, and be a parent? Have you not had conversations with them over the course of their lives? Parents, stop for a moment. Are your children strangers to you?
Breeding is easy folks. For the vast majority of the world it is something that happens with hardly any effort. Parenting is not. It's work, everyday. It's time to commit to parenting again. Get to know your kids, be involved in their lives. That is how we prevent these things from happening. It's not an easy answer, sorry. But it's the truth.