I volunteer at our local Domestic Abuse And Rape Crisis Center and one of my chosen obligations is to attend any rape victim who chooses to go to the emergency room for the rape exam. I strongly advise any woman needing this support to call their local woman's shelter for further information and assistance...no woman needs to face this endeavor alone and it is very comforting to have someone who knows the procedure to be there with you to explain what is going on and why. During August 1997 I was called to meet such a woman at our local hospital who had been raped. I met her and while we waited for the doctor she told me her story.

"B", a beautiful young woman of 26, went to the Jersey shore to spend two weeks in the sun. Her family rented a cottage, the same cottage they'd rented in previous years, next to the same people they'd rented by in past summers. "B" works hard, "7 days a week for the past 4 months" and as she said she just wanted to relax and enjoy the ocean with her family and friends. She'd gone down on the weekend with her brother and a very good friend, one "B" deemed her "adopted brother" (let's call him Michael...he's not the rapist) to clean up the cottage for everyone who would be coming to share their family vacation during those two weeks. All day Saturday the three cleaned and readied the cottage. Sunday came and a little before noon the three of them decided to stop cleaning, take a break and have a drink on the patio...enjoy the warm sun and ocean atmosphere. The next door neighbor saw them all outside and came over.

He was single, in his 30's, owned his own electrical business, "very prosperous" he bragged, had "a lot of friends", all "in high places", even had a "high powered attorney" as his "best friend". (Let this be a "red flag" when someone has to impress you this much.) This "friend" of past summers invited "B", her brother and Michael to go out on his boat, maybe stop and have a few drinks at a waterside bar. It sounded fun and off they all went. "B" was having a great time! She danced and drank, she remembers that very well. About 4 drinks she remembered, "some kind of good tasting drink made with rum." "B" would later blame her loss of memory on the rum as it was her first time drinking it. "B" would remember the neighbor telling her he'd get her "a special drink". "B" states she felt safe to drink, dance, have fun…and she should have been. Her brother and Michael were there she said to take care of her. She remembers having the first drink, a second, then "flashes" of memories after that...dancing....the 4 of them returning to the cottage...having one more drink just before bed.

"B" remembers her brother putting her into bed around 9:00 p.m. She said good-bye to him. He had to leave, but would return during the week with his family he told her. "B" remembers her brother saying to Michael, "Take good care of "B"!" The "friend" from next door said he was leaving too. The brother left, the neighbor left, "B" was in bed, Michael went to the bathroom and during this quick awful moment in time "B" awoke. She was struggling with someone trying to take off her shorts, the lamp was knocked off the dresser and she remembers being violently thrown back on the bed and then being raped. The door opened, it was Michael. He'd heard the noise he'd tell her later, but thinking sex was mutual, and now embarrassed, Michael shut the door. "B" remembers screaming to him to help her! Michael opened the door, realized what was really happening, grabbed the next door neighbor and threw him out. Michael attended to "B", holding her he cried and apologized for not helping her sooner, discussing what they should do, both very confused. "B" was reluctant due to her drinking to call the police…would they believe her? This was Sunday evening. Monday "B" came home and that evening I was called by our shelter to meet her in the ER.

I met "B" at the emergency room of our local hospital to attend her during her exam and answer any questions she might have. I listened to her story as we waited for the doctor. During the conversation I asked if she still had the clothes she'd worn the night of the rape. "B" said she had them still…they were in her bag in the car, unwashed. I advised her these would be evidence and to keep them isolated and to not wash them. "B" felt so guilty for drinking. I couldn't stress enough to her it wasn't her fault and she had every right to be out dancing and having a good time, and yes, she even had the right to drink if she so desired. To make a long story short, the attending ER doctor contacted our local prosecutor's office who contacted the prosecutor in the county where the rape occurred. The doctor advised "B" he couldn't do the exam because she was in a different county from where the rape happened, but advised her he could do all her blood work and this he did. "B" would have to have the rape exam in the county where the rape occurred.

After "B"s blood work had been drawn we walked into the waiting room of the ER. "B" was devastated to see many family members waiting for her. She just fell apart crying. I held her and told her this was the time she needed them for support. We sat down and began to talk, everyone quietly venting, everyone guilty for their own reasons. I assured them all they shouldn't feel guilty and to place the blame where it belongs. I reinforced their right to be out, to have fun, to drink. I asked "B" if she'd bought her own drinks. She replied she had not. I asked who did. "B" said she remembered the neighbor buying all her drinks..."come to think of it" (this was confirmed by her brother as well)…he was even nice enough to bring them to her on the dance floor and hand them directly to her. "B" remembered thinking at the time he was such a gentleman. I asked had the neighbor put any of her drinks on the table where they all were sitting…"B"s brother said "B"s drinks were all brought out to the dance floor and handed directly to her. "B" now saw this "gentlemanly" act with suspicion. She asked why...I told her my suspicions of drugs. I told her my suspicion that this man was a sexual predator and she not his first victim...nor his last. "When men use these kind of drugs on a woman it is the only way they feel they will be able to have them...This was the only way he felt he could have you…" I said. "B" stared at me, her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open...she remembered overhearing this guy say to her brother on Sunday just before going out on the boat, "What? You think I couldn't have her!?" nodding toward "B". Her brother nodded in agreement, that "B"s rapist had indeed said this to him. There were so many warning signs "B" and her brother now saw. We discussed the "predator", how they wait, patiently stalking their victim till they're in a weakened state, then striking!

Following "proper legal directives" "B" went to the "proper" county the following morning. She was attended by her brother, her brother-in-law and Michael. All went to the prosecutor's office. Both her brother and Michael gave the prosecutor's office indepedent statements of Sunday's events, both stories identical, then "B" went to the "proper" hospital for a rape exam. Approximately 38 hours had passed by now and the longer you wait the less evidence is present, plus "B" had showered (never shower until after the exam as valuable physical evidence can be washed away). The hospital refused to test for drugs. To add to all this the prosecutor's office would not authorize "B"s blood samples taken the previous night at our hospital to be tested. Our hospital held "B"s blood samples, but after 7 days as required by law in New Jersey "B" was told, despite "B"s cries to please send her blood to testing because she planned on prosecuting her rapist, her blood samples were thrown away...along with the evidence of any drugs. The clothes "B" wore the night of the rape given to the prosecutor in the county where the rape occurred all disappeared.

A year passed. I spoke to "B". She has given me permission to use her story as she wants to speak out. She is angry about the negligence in which her case, a very strong case I might add even having a witness to the actual rape, had fallen through legal cracks…and her rapist? He's still at large…never charged… never brought before our courts. "B" was told by the prosecutor's office that they'd "contacted" her rapist…left him a message on his answering machine to contact them. He did return their call…yes he'd been nice enough to take her,her brother and Michael boating and then drinking…did he give her any drugs? No he said, but "B" admitted to him she'd taken ecstasy and was looking for a good time. "B" vehemently denies this, but now we don't have to guess what was probably slipped into her drinks.

"B"s story came about while I was still in college. I needed to choose a drug to research, prepare a report and provide an oral presentation to my Chemistry class as part of my grade. I felt very strongly that drugs had been used on "B" by her rapist and due to these "date drugs" becoming more and more prevalent along the Jersey shore, I chose to report on Rohypnol. I wanted my presentation to help inform even more college students who may be at great risk like "B". "B" and I discussed my idea of using her story as part of my presentation, then explaining the drug to my class. She was all for it!