Winner
Michael wroteIt was the kind of
Monday when all you want to do is stay in bed. As luck would have
it I work every Saturday and have Mondays off,"Who can stay in bed
on a day like this?" I said to Leanne, who also has Mondays off. "Lets
go on an adventure!"
Leanne and I set off from the Central
Coast, about an hour north of Sydney, to our destination, the trendy
suburb of Mosman and surrounding suburbs of Balmoral, Neutral Bay
and Cremorne to live the life, walk the walk and just be seen for
a day. These suburbs also happen to be where most of the work I
do as an appliance serviceman is carried out. "Oh to one day be a
local".
For a long time now I have had this
habit of collecting. Not anything in particular, just collecting.
If it's a bargain I'll buy it. So the idea of shopping in Mosman
or thereabouts excited me. You may ask "where do you get a
bargain in Mosman?" Well in my travels I believed I have seen just such
a place, in fact a few.
Leanne, on the other hand, has learned
to be weary when I come home and say
I've just bought a bargain. So
it was with very little expection that I said to her "How about we
go to a pawn shop while we're here?" "I didn't know they had those
type of shops in Mosman" Leanne replied. At this point a bell
should of rung or a light switch on, but no, I accepted her reply
with the innocence I'm not generally known for.
"Why wouldn't they?" I asked.
"I dont know. I just never thought
of those kind of shops in Mosman. Do
you know where they are?"
"Yeh, I know where there are three."
"Are you going to buy anything?"
"Maybe. If I see anything I like."
"Like what?"
"Who knows. Let your imagination run wild!"
Apparently she already had.
We continued on our way with what, in
retrospect was an unusual silence.
Under normal circumstances I'm not oblivious
to the emotions of others, in fact
I've been told I'm quite sensitive to
others and their feelings.
Then there was today. Receptors
down, all incoming messages set to mute and
a do not disturb sign hung off the right
frontal lobe.
I must accept some of the responsibility
for what can only be described as a
breakdown in communication, a failure
to accurately convey information and
what I may come to remember as
the greatest lost opportunity in my personal history.
As our car approached our ultimate destination
and the anticipation on Leanne's
face became increasinglying obivious,
a greater man would have noticed I'm sure,
in fact sitting here now, I'm confident
Stevie Wonder would have noticed.
But me? Not a twinge not even a second
thought. I was too caught up in the
excitement of the moment. A Mosman
bargain.
"Here we are!"
Leanne looked then looked at me then
looked again and finally asked "Where?"
"The pawn shop."
I've replayed this situation over and
over in my mind but the result, to my
disbelief, is always the same.
A major lost opportunity. How
was I to know when I was saying "PAWN"
Leanne was thinking "PORN".
Winner Susan WroteMy 8 year old daughter was watching TV. A condom comercial came on. She said....Mama what is a condom. Well I said go ask your Daddy. Then she asked me again. So I said well it's a birthcontrol device. She then asked...Well what is that? I thought and then I figured I should just tell her so I said...well it's something to help you not to have a baby. She then said and was very serious. Why didn't you use one? It was so funny. My 15 year old daughter was rolling in the floor and my husband was cracking up. Glad she didn't ask me anymore questions.
Winner
Tink Wrote an irc friend in Australia
was talking about making some biscuits ...a friend in North Carolina
was really interested in having the receipe ..so the australian friend
gave it to her ....the friend in North Carolina made the biscuits
for supper one nite but was distressed that they didnt come out right
and worried about what she might have done wrong ..she told the friend
in Austriala that she messed it up some how cause the "biscuits" came out
just like "cookies".
The friend in North Caroline found out
that "biscuits" in austraila mean "cookies" ...we eat biscuits and
gravy in the States ..which sounds strange to our Oz friends :)
Winner
Amy wrote We live
5 houses away from my parents so we often walk back & forth.
One day my 2 year old daughter & I were walking over to see them.
Our neighbor has this big pine tree near their driveway. There were
lots of pine cones that had fallen on the driveway. My daughter stopped
and looked at them. She quickly exclaimed "BIG BM!" BM meaning
BOWEL MOVEMENT! I cracked up
after realizing that those pine cones
looked like BM to her!
Winner
Andrew wrote One time when
I went to a fast food restaurant with my mom and sister, I was ordering.
My mom and sister weren't getting anything
and were standing a good distance behind me. When I finished
my order the lady said, "Are you by yourself?" - meaning is that all for
you. I replied, "No, I am here with my mom and sister."
I guess it doesn't sound funny when i write it out, but thinking
of it still makes me laugh.
Winner
Bob wrote Back In the 60's I worked
at Goddard Space Centre, and was in charge of 123 satellites and 27
tracking stations. One of them, Relay II, had problems and we were instructed
to turn it off if we saw it transmitting when unscheduled. So one
day my Station at Ft. Myers FLa, called, said it was on, and I gave
permission to turn it off. They monitored,and it came right back
on. I told them to turn it off again. Again it came back on.
I was just about to have them turn it
off again when the SCAMA phone rang with Mojave trackin station on
the other end. They said, Hey Netcon, we are trying to turn our satellite
on for an unscheduld pass, but it keeps going off, How come ??
I quitely told Ft. Myers to secure operations
and then told Mojave to try agin, I think it will work ok this time, and
you know, IT Did !!!! Heheheh
I have never told anyone this story
before.
Its kind of a joke on me, but you know
sometimes those are the best ones.
Cheers, Bob Maples
Winner
Shosh wrote The ISP
that I worked at once used to offer restricted web access meant for religous
ppl that didn't want the option of going to "unethical" sites.
One day a man calls telling me that the block we put for
his account didn't work and that he can reach sites that he wasn't
supposed to able to. I start working with him when my boss came over
and wanted to tell me something urgent.
So I tell the caller: "I hope you don't mind it, but I have
to put you on hold".
And the man replays: "no prob. I am at playboy's site"
..... :)