Women in general have a hard time with self-esteem. From an early age we were taught that we had to look or dress a certain way. We have been told that we cannot achieve as much as we want and that the only way we can get ahead in our lives and in our careers is with our "beauty". It's even worse for a woman who is large. (Believe me, the term large is totally subjective here - in current society if you weigh more than 135 pounds or are over 5'5" tall you are considered large!)
I think that Big Beautiful Women have so much to offer society. I get a lot of mail every month telling me that the site I have done here means a lot to them and that it helps them to understand how they themselves feel about being a BBW. The women that are writing are intelligent,. witty and have a lot to offer society but they don't think they do for different reasons. Some are involved in abusive relationships and are trying to find themselves or have had an abusive childhood (verbal abuse is abuse, too!), they have had problems in the work place due to their weight with an unsympathetic employer, or they have had society tell them in no uncertain terms that if they lost weight they would have a better life in many ways. I know a woman who lost a lot of weight and thought that her life would just automatically get better! Guess what? It didn't! She still didn't love herself. She still didn't love her body.
It makes me wonder why society is so hung up on looks - women have plastic surgery,
liposuction, go on dramatic diets, are bulimic and anorexic and have any number of
problems because they think that they don't meet the grade for some reason or
another. The key is this:
Learn to stand up for YOURSELF! Do you have friends who are constantly harping
about losing weight or talking about diets and how you should? Are they always saying
that they are doing this for your own good? Perhaps you should point out that this is
your life and that you don't have a problem with your body - why should they? Ask
them what kind of hang-ups THEY have! Stand up for yourself and take charge.
Be an activist for
YOURSELF!(If you do, you will help other BBWs!) Be an activist, you say? I can't talk to
groups of people! Well, it really doesn't take much. You don't have to join organizations
(although there are several great ones out there!) or do a bunch of public speaking.
There are other ways to show your support. Here are a few: (and I bet you can think of
many others!!!!!)
Join a fat positive organization!
Start a fat positive, women positive web page! (There are a lot of women out there that
are afraid to tell the world that they are a BBW! Why? I figure if someone doesn't like
me because I'm fat the hell with them!)
Join a fat positive mailing list or discussion group!
Boycott organizations that don't promote body acceptance!
Feeling very adventurous? Like to meet people? Start a fat positive social group in
your area!
Write to congressmen, senators, and other political figures about weight issues and
support those that support laws against discrimination of fat people!
Put your best foot forward - the world is watching fat people and we need to show them
that we are THE SAME AS ANYONE ELSE!
As fat women, each one of us is a role model for a younger generation of women. If a
Big Beautiful Young Person sees us allowing ourselves to be stomped on then they
will allow the same. Be gutsy, be proud and be the best you can be! We have a big job
ahead of us. It's tough for us, but I think we can do this!
Remember, you are beautiful, and women like us were once worshipped as
goddesses! We can achieve that again!
"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit."
-Helen Keller
