Why I am not a
A Discussion of Sexual Orientation Terminology
When I was submitting my site to search engines I discovered that many scan the contents of the page, and ignore the descriptive html tags that are visible to search engines but not viewers.
This was bad news for poor Basil Blue's Home! I had crafted a place that welcomed everyone without trying to squoosh any one into a box. But search engines love boxes.
So I went back to my page and right at the top I wrote:
Hmmm...there's something mighty Queer about this home!
Then I proceeded to ask all the dykes, femmes, lesbians, bisexuals, bicurious, homosexuals, faggots, gays and queers just what they thought about their dyke, femme, lesbian, bisexual, bicurious, homosexual, faggot, gay or queer sexual orientation. You see? Suddenly, rather than being true to myself and my home, I was throwing out fodder for the search engines.
I do believe there is power in naming. I believe the names we choose for ourselves reflect who we are, and often shape who we are. But that was not the point of my home. Here you can be just you. This is a place where you can come to feel beautiful. This is a place where no one is judging you. This is a place where you can put your feet up and let me take care of you.
I wanted to stay away from sexual orientation terminology -- labels, if you will -- because the terms are loaded. Does Dyke make you feel powerful...or oppressed? Does the term Faggot make you wince...or set your libido afire like a bundle of small sticks? Does Femme make you feel sexy...or like the lesbian version of Donna Reed? Does Lesbian make you feel a real woman...or like a failed heterosexual? Is Queer a term of pride...or the name that made you cry in high school?
There are a lot of stereotypes associated with names! I wrote some down...
Some women love women, and do not consider themselves queer. Some men love men, and do not consider themselves queer. I have a friend who does not consider herself bisexual, or bi, but she has the capacity to be emotionally and sexually attracted to men and women. I want my home to be a place where she feels comfortable. I want to talk about what we do, who we are, what we think and how we feel: women loving women...men loving men...people loving people -- because isn't that really what it's all about?
I went back to my web page and ripped out most of the sexual orientation terminology again and threw it in the cyber trash.
So search engines, you'll find plenty of sapphos in cyber space, homo dykes in lesbo land, get plugged up the wazoo by queer faggot bisexuals, and drown in the lavender tears of bicurious femmes, but it ain't gonna be in my home!