. . . in a deep space..somewhere out there..i have to believe that there is someone out there for me..right? am i wrong to assume that? what do i have to look forward to in this lifetime..if not Love? But, will there ever be a person out there...who can fall in love..with a child...a child like me?



a child who tries her damnedest to be herself..in a world filled with copycats, a place filled with ppl insisting that they are individuals when truly all they are is the same 'individual', a child who has her own opinions inside that innocent facade..yet is too often afraid to voice them in fear of rejection...a rejection she has become so accustomed to as of lately... a child who feels that she deserves to be Loved to the extent of everlasting Love..one that she has yet to see exist....a child who believes in faeries and witches....ghosts and goblins...and can only hope that one day they will come to rescue her from this world filled with only lies and hiding faces....a child who doesn't think much of herself....but often thinks the world of all others....a child who is so much in Love with Love that she would do just about anything to experience that pure and utter joy that it accompanies....a child who will protect till the day she dies the ppl around her..and the ppl she loves....a child too much afraid of the word no....and therefore often becomes the doormat to step upon for many...a child whose only dream is to travel far and wide..with only the one she Loves on one arm....and a simple 35 mm in the other..a notebook in the back seat to write it all down in...a child who turns a deep red at the mere utterance of the word sex....a child who Loves to Love, but has never known true Love.....a child who gets lost in a book almost as easily as a cornstalk maze....a child who Loves music from deep within her soul..and who yearns to make beautiful sounds someday....a child who is afraid of the dark, yet thrives in it.....a child oblivious to the true nature of man....a child who yearns to leave this place for another....any other...a child looking forward to grow out of this phase of neverending nonsense and ramblings....a child that twirls her hair, bites her nails, and even cracks her knuckles in an embarrassing or even stressful situation....a child who dint learn to tie her shoe laces till she was nearly 7 years old.....a child whose favorite place to be is the dark room or beneath a dark tree.....a child whose Love of nature overwhelms her to a place where she can only see from the outside in....a child who desperately misses her grandmother every moment of the day..and every dream of the nite, yet still is too afraid to visit the cemetery that is her new home....a child who will cherish her memory until they meet again in Heaven.....a child who can break into tears at the slightest thing....come joy or sadness....a child who hides herself only to show a more grown up version of the Peter Pan that she is....a child who is scared shitless to leave and go on..but knows in her heart that it has to be done.....a child who sleeps through nearly every class, yet stays awake to all hours of the nite, dreaming of that blissful Love, never to be found.....a child who hates math with a passion of a thousand red hot suns, but loves the pure simplicity behind it all....a child who is deathly afraid of the water, yet loves the touch of it on her dry skin.....a child who constantly confided in a cat that could never answer back......a child who fell in love with her best friend when it was already too late....a child desperate to find that Love before its too late.....a child who absolutely can fall in love with a guy if he simply says "bless you" when she sneezes...a child who has Loved a child, a boy, a man...a child who will Love a woman.....a child who chatters her teeth when its chilly outside...a child who agrees and says.."nothing is trivial"....a child who has sleptwalk through life..till now...a child who takes offense too easily....a child who likes her purple socks and her red hair....a child who thinks she has fallen in Love, but has no idea what to do about it...a child who hates this town and everything it stands for....a child-yearning to break free from the mold that was given to her 18 years ago.....a child..a girl...a woman..simply put..me.


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