W A N D E R E R

I love the fall. Part of it is nostalgia based I guess. The starting of school, new classes, people and professors; I forget sometimes that this part of my life is long since existent.

Do you ever just drive? I just drive with no particular destination in mind. Perhaps only a specific area to drive through. I do. I do often on my way home from work. If the trees and houses would talk, I can only image what they would say and sometimes I do. I like to lose myself on my drives, get lost in the landscape, the architecture, and the history.

I'm excited about the studio and store moving to the new location. I think it will have a positive effect on traffic flow into the store and therefore the potential search for new design clients. Atrium complex to Main Street, my head's already spinning. Things are changing and I'm certain they are for the best, yet I can't be too sure of the longevity of my stay there. Sometimes I wonder if it's just me.

I received a phone call the other day from an old friend from high school. It seems like yesterday that he went and got married; that was just over two years ago. He said something midway through our conversation that made my thoughts stop dead. He said with a hearty chuckle, "...you're still such the wanderer."

W A N D E R E R.

That word still rings in my head.

I can't help but ask myself if that is true. I know deep down that it is…"the truth is in the pudding"…as they say. My life's surroundings are altered every few years. The place I call home, my friends, my loves, and my creative outlet. I am like a flower without roots to bloom anew every year smiling up at the sun, to then hang my head down and rest to start all over again in new gardens.

This has made me wonder about my ability to have a long-term relationship with someone. I don't know if I can let someone into my world, let them see all who I am and wish to be. What if they'd leave first?

A B A N D O N M E N T.

My greatest fear next to driving at night through hard blinding rain.

"I will never be safe
I will never be sane
I will always be weird inside
I will always be lame
Now I'm a grown man
With a child of my own
And I swear that I'm not gong to let her know
All the pain I have known"

Everclear

I wonder if he feels the same.

How about you? How do you feel?