Thoughts of him always give me comfort;
I feel as if I could still talk to him
and am met with his straightforward
and motivating answers.

He was big and snuggly,
I had always felt safe and warm in his arms
and his skin was always so soft.
He had big strong hands, hazel eyes
and soft sandy blond curls.
He had left his hair on the long side
always against the pleading cries of his mom.
He was the middle child of three boys
and looked nothing like his two brothers,
his brothers' being lanky with dark hair
and him with his muscular stature
and softened features.

I could always be myself with him,
nothing I could say, do or wear would be wrong.
We had fun together like school kids in a sandbox
or hanging and climbing the monkey bars.
We grew up together, our fathers
having been friends
for years before our births.

I remember one night as the full moon's light
danced and reflected on our naked bodies
he stopped and stared at me, and smiled.
"You are so beautiful", he said.
I can still hear his words
and the look in his eyes
and I remember how happy
and carefree I felt back then.
Everything we did had been fresh
new and innocent.

I can still remember how it felt
to have his chest and arms
circle around me from behind…
that had always been so warm
and welcoming to me.

My head
My heart
My body
Aches to have him near again

I miss him so.