This is my Story, I hope you enjoy reading.

My story begins quite a ways back when I was twelve. At that age I didn't, couldn't understand why I did some of the things I did, but even now I can't explain it. The difference is now I don't try to explain, I just accept. Way back when I was twelve I can remember going into the bathroom hamper and looking for my sisters or mothers dirty clothes that I wanted to try on and wear when I was in the bathroom. My sisters being younger than I had small clothes that didn't fit well but I wore them any way. It was exciting for me, It satisfied a need that still today getting dressed satisfies. For years this kind of behavior occured. When I was old enough, probably around 15, I would wait for the family to leave and now I was old enough to stay by myself at home. It was at this time that I would venture into my moms closet and try on clothes. I had also begun collecting garments. I had been working for a while since I was 11. It is due to this that I was soon buying clothes. When I was 16 I had a decent supply of clothes stuffed into a gym bag. This stash was found by my parents. I can remember my dad sitting me down and telling me that I was a bad person for this. That this wasn't normal behavior and it will not be tolerated under his roof. With that he took my identity and threw it away. This event would happen again later on when I was about 20, I don't think I ever forgave him for that.

I would soon start wearing panties and stockings under my normal clothes to work and to school, sometimes late at night I would even wear a skirt home from work. I was always embarrased. When I moved out of my house to college, My dressing was curbed, I didn't have the freedom to put womans clothes on. I was having a great time and I didn't feel the need. My second yeay living at the college I didn't have a room mate and this was a great situation for me. I would wear clothes around my room and a nightgown to bed. It is now I started teaching and I met Cheryl. I graduated from college and moved into an apartment with her. My dressing was accepted by her but she didn't want to know about it. It was an important part of my life then I just didn't realize how much yet. I kept my clothes in boxes in the back of my closet and I would get dressed when she wasn't home. I wasn't getting dressed often but, I my wardrobe was growing. We crossed the country on our bicycles then got engaged. My dressing now was minimal, It was always on my mind though. When we went shopping for her wedding dress, I wished that I was the bride and that I was the one that was going to be all pretty.

Then my life fell apart. I left my job, We broke off our engagement, and I moved out of the home that we built together. I was happy. Everything felt good. I got an apartment and then....

I was smart the second time, I had seperated my clothes into two seperate locations to avoid lossing everything. It was because of this that I felt victorious and my rare dressing continued.I never ventured outside of my room except for when no one was at home. Sharing my room with my brother made it difficult to keep it from him and eventually he found out. I was Ok with this and life went on. Meeting girls and going on dates seemed to have pushed my desires to dress away. These desires only came back stronger than before. I can remember a time being intimate with a woman where I was wearing her clothes as a joke and It was more than a joke to me.

I seriously looked into my dressing. I was free to explore my feelings. That is what is was. It wasn't dressing, it was how I felt and who I am. I started dressing all the time, I started feeling like a woman. The woman was inside of me my whole life, now I was free to develop into the beautiful woman I am today. Being transgendered goes beyond dressing. I feel like a woman regardless of what I am wearing. I joined Tri-Ess and LIFE. I learned that there are others out there like myself and this brought me peace and the sisters I have always needed. Now I feel like a sister, a daughter, a teenage girl and I feel happy.

Check out my Photos in my Photo Album. You can learn more about Tri-Ess and LIFE and experience the groups that are for those like me. Feel free to E-mail me and we can chat.

HOME