Mama
it's the weekend...time to call 'home'...but then I remember...I can't call you anymore...and I shouldn't wait for the call from you either...you are no longer here...we lost you way too soon...55 is not old age...we were coming to visit you this August...you were supposed to retire...come to live in the States...see Joey grow up...we had all these plans...and then within minutes it all slipped away...
Mama...i miss you terribly...I have endless conversations with you each and every day...I consult you in my mind when I have decisions to make or when I encounter problems...and even though I know alot of times what your advice would be... it tears me apart to know that you are not with me in person...
But Mama...did you see Marcel and me meet for the first time?...How I wish I could have seen your eyes when I was reunited with my son...I know how very important that was to you...it's all ok now Mama...he calls me often and we all are going to visit him next summer...
Joey asked if you are here with us...if you can see things...hear things...I told him you were always with us because you are in our hearts...
He wanted you to know about his reportcard...he did so very well this year...all A's and B's...he thought you'd be proud of him.
Since you've left he is very scared of losing me, he can't understand how a person can have a heart attack without any prior indications...I don't think any of us can understand it...
You know...we had our differences when I was growing up...and sometimes things got really ugly...but I am so very thankful for the past decade...and especially the last 3 years...you got to visit often...we spend the Millenium celebration together...something we had planned since I was Joe's age...you met the love of my life and loved her like your own daughter...you got to spend time with Joey and Marcel...you stood by my side when I got married...and for the first time you finally were at ease and didn't have to worry about me anymore...
Mama...you have been there for me through it all and I think the last few years have not just improved our relationship as mother and daughter but we became best friends...thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to make up for past mistakes....thank you for forgiving and forgetting...thank you for your patience...and your unconditional love...
Your are in my heart...and part of you lives on in all the people whose lifes you've touched...
I know you'll be waiting for me at the rainbowbridge when my time comes...until then I will continue to talk to you daily...cherish the memories...take all you taught me to heart...and make you proud of me...
I love you Mama
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