Test your Dyke Quotient

Directions: Give yourself noted points for questions. (Add or Subtract)

Do you own a truck?...5
Do you own a foreign car?...1
Does the vehicle you drive most have standard transmission?...3
Do you own a motorcycle?...5
Is there a lesbian-oriented decal or bumper sticker on your vehicle?...2
Do you change its oil or spark plugs yourself?...5
Do you own an electric drill?...2
Do you own a chain saw or table saw?...5
Do you ever wear steel-toed work boots?...3
Do you use a tool belt?...10
Have you ever spent an evening "cruising" the hardware store?...10
Do you regularly wear a baseball cap?..2 backwards...5
Do you regularly wear a hard hat or cowboy hat?....5
Do you wear cowboy boots at least once per week?...3
Do your boots have spurs?....5
Can you do more than 2 line dances?... -1
Do you regularly wear men's cologne or after shave?...2
Do you shave:
(a) Any part of your neck or face?...5
(b) your armpits?... -1
(c) your legs - just knee and below?... -1
(d) your legs - all the way up?... -5
(e) your pubic hair.. 2
(f) your partners hair?... 10
Do you wear panty hose to work?... -2
Do you wear panty hose on dates?... -10
Before going out on a date, do you usually:
(a) shine your shoes/boots..5
(b) wash your car/truck?...5
(c) take a bubble bath... -5
What do you usually wear to sleep:
(a) pajamas?...5
(b) a t-shirt?...2
(c) nothing more than a smile... 1
(d) nightgown?... -5
(e) a negligee?... -10
Do you own more than 3 flannel shirts?...2
Do you wear men's jeans?...3
Do you like to wear neckties?...3
Do you have a black leather jacket with lots of zippers?...5
Do you wear men's briefs or boxer shorts?...10
Do you use a nail clipper instead of an emery board?...5
Do you polish your:
(a) finger nails?... -5
(b) toe nails?... -10
Do you:
(a) golf?...1
(b) play organized soccer or volleyball?...2
(c) play organized softball or basketball?...3
(d) play organized football or hockey?...10
(e) own cleats (other than golf shoes)?...5
Do you lift weights?...2
Do you own a weight bench?...5
Do you work out using Jan Fonda, Richard Simmons, or similar videos?... -5
Have you ever changed your hair color?... -5
Do you ever wear a barrette or headband?... -10
Do you use:
(a) lipstick?.. -2
(b) eye makeup?... -3
(c) glitter?... -10
Do you tweeze your eyebrows?... -2
For each tattoo add...5
Do you ever smoke a cigar or pipe?...5
Do you chew tobacco?...10
Do you shoot pool?...2
Do you own a pool cue?...3
Do you carry a purse?
(a) never! (fanny packs don't count)...10
(b) seldom...2
(c) more often than not... -2
(d) nearly always... -5
Do your friends call you by your initials?...3
Have you ever seen "Claire of the Moon" or Desert Hearts" more than once each?...2
For each pet cat of yours add 1
Have you ever served in the military?...10
Do you own a shot gun or target pistol?...5
Do you have a fishing license?...2
Do you bail your own hook?...1
Do you own a tent?...2
For each time you have been: add 2 points
(a) white water rafting
(b) jet skiing
(c) cliff diving
(d) mountain climbing
(e) parasailing
(f) hand gliding
(g) scuba diving
Would you rather barbecue burgers than cook a gourmet meal?...1
Do you have a flashlight on your key chain?...2
Do you wear your keys on your belt or belt loop?...10
Do you wear a watch with the dial on the inside of your wrist?...10
For each ad in women 4 women personals you're answered:...1
For each ad in women 4 women personals you've placed...2
Do you play:
(a) an electric guitar?...2
(b) a brass instrument..3
(c) drums (other than ritual type)...3
Can you sew on a button or do a hem?... -2
Do you knit, crochet, or needlepoint?... -5
Do you enjoy opera?... -2
Do you watch soap operas?... -5
Do you collect:
(a) stamps or coins?...3
(b) baseball or football cards?...3
(c) Hummel or Lladro figurines?... -3
Are you afraid of spiders?... -1
Do you like to lead when dancing?...3
Do you drink shots?... 3
Do you drink pop or beer from can/bottle rather than from a glass?...3
Can you do a "wolf whistle"?...1
Can you tie a cherry stem into a knot inside your mouth?...3
Can you set a bowling ball with your tongue?...5
Can you suck a golf ball through a garden hose?...10
Is your favorite tree the pussy willow tree?...1
Do you keep a can of whipped cream in the fridge?...1
Do you carry a dental dam folded in your wallet?...10
For each earring above 2 worn in the same ear... 2
For each piercing other than on the ears...5
Do you own a pair of handcuffs...3
Do you ever wear a leather collar?...5
Can you do a cartwheel?...1
Can you climb a rope?...5
Can you jump rope?.. -1
Have you climbed a tree in the last five years?...5
For each album/cd you own by Alex Dobkyn, Holly Near, KD Lang, Melissa Ethridge, Ronnie Gilbert, or Joan Armatrading...1
For each day attending womyns festivals in the past 12 months:...1
Do you go bare-chested at womyns festivals?...2
Do you own a vibrator?...1
Do you own a dildo (other than in #89)?...1
Do you use any sort of a harness device or strap on?...5
When french kissing your partner, are you usually the giver more than the receiver?...5
When engaging in sex, do you prefer to be on top more than any other position?...5
Are you a social worker or nurse?...1
Are you a mental health professional?...2
Are you a law enforcement officer or attorney?...3
Are you a postal service employee?...5
Do you have a knife with over a 4" blade in a sheath on your belt?...10
Can you kill a spider with your bare hands?...10

Scoring Results:
Below 0.........Hopelessly heterosexual
1 - 25..........Bumbling bi-sexual
26 - 75.........faux femme fatale
76 - 125.......alluringly androgynous
126 - 175.........brassy butch
176 to 225......... decidedly diesel
226 or above.........testing transexuality using hormone therapy


To Mail in your results be sure to include your score and your nick

For a listing of everyone else's results

Back to the Lesbian Palace

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