On Christmas..

The mad hustle and bustle of the holiday season is upon us. Is there any way out of this crazy, mad world? People pushing, shoving, grumbling, and grabbing. It's not like it was back when I was child. Yes, those were the days…

My father, mother, brother and I would get in the car on the evening of the first December snowfall and take the long way to the shopping center. (No malls then. Braving the whipping, blustery winds of December made shopping for Christmas truly challenging to the bravest of souls.) Looking at all the houses draped in color and decorated with care against snowflakes dancing from the sky was a yearly ritual. We "ooh'd" and "aah'd" as we drove through entire neighborhoods seemingly in competition with each other. Light bills? The joy of sharing pleasure and Christmas seemed to outweigh such trivial matters.

When we arrived at the shopping center, I'd go off with my mother to hunt down the perfect gift for my father and brother. My father would take my brother to search for our gifts. We always had a meeting place and time where we would hook up, share a cup of hot chocolate and trade shopping partners. We'd duck and hide from each other in the store, not wanting to give away our precious secrets, they were for Christmas morning.

Inevitably, my brother and I were sent of on our own to buy our parents gifts. I'm sure they peeked around the aisles watching us with amused faces. We were young and just learning how to explore our world. We didn't understand the value of money back then.Shopping wasn't a chore (as it is now) like washing dishes. It was fun! It was an adventure!

There was the year we bought my mother a crystal orange juice squeezer. We thought it was an ashtray. We bought my father a leveler the same year. We had no clue what it was, we just liked the air bubble in the middle. And we had change! We could go off with a George Washington clutched in our fist and have money left over to buy something for stocking stuffers.

After shopping, we'd head of to McDonalds and get burgers and fries. While eating our treat, we would joke and tease other, "I know what you got and you don't."

Our family shopping trip was just the beginning of our holiday tradition. The excitement and anticipation for Christmas morning seemed to grow with each passing day. By Christmas Eve, no one slept a wink!

As I shop for my now teenage children, I long for those moments to share with them. The joy and love I felt was so intense, I was safe within the realm of my family. The world has changed so drastically since then. Simple peace and goodwill toward mankind seems so remote. Kids today (mine included) are too concerned with the materialistic side of life. It's not who you are anymore, but rather, what you have.

Being a single parent, I can't give my children the entire experience I had as a young child, although I have given them bits and pieces. I can only hope that the value, joy, and wonderment I have instilled in them with each passing day will be a seed planted for them to nurture. For happiness and joy are born out of love and pain.

Author's Note: As I finished this reflection, I happened to look out the window and saw the first snow. Time to collect the kids and go Christmas shopping. Time to "build a memory" for them to share with their children one day: A legacy of wonder, hope, and love.

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