Title: I BREATHE IN
Author: A. Kite ( AKite68163@aol.com )
Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski
Rating: PG
Summary: A song inspired vignette with Ray's thoughts on living without Fraser, post COTW.
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. The characters belong toa bunch of Canadian suit wearing types. The song, I Breathe In, is by Chris Cagle on Virgin Records. No copyright infringement is intended for either and no money is being made.
Archiving: Yes, just tell me where
Feedback: Comments and constructive criticism are welcome, publicly or privately, and always answered.
A. Kite (Dec. 2001)
"I breathe in I breathe out
Put one foot in front of the other"
Not his usual fare at all. Flipping through radio stations, he'd come across this song. The all rock was playing a song he couldn't stand. Hated it. Country music, yech! Even worse, so he thought, but the lyrics grabbed him. Grabbed him right by the heart, and he started to listen. Yeah, one day at a time, that's right. Just passing through life. Life without Fraser. It sucked.
Yeah, acquaintances always asked, "Where's your Mountie friend?" He was sick of explaining it. Fraser was back home in the land that he loved and Ray Kowalski, he was existing. They'd had their big adventure and still he hadn't been able to do it. Not able to actually tell the man that he loved him, wanted to be with him always. Forever.
So now, I breathe in and breathe out. The job he'd loved, the job he'd fought his father about, no longer interested him. Not here. Chicago without Fraser...maybe he should just move on.
Cops are needed everywhere. No need to stay here, but he couldn't pick up and leave. What if Fraser needed him? What if he came back looking for him? What if, indeed. He snorted. Now I'm even thinking in Fraserspeak. You've got it bad, man.
He'd been through it all a million times in his head. What if he'd had plucked his courage up and said what his heart told him to? Stuck in Canada freezing your ass off, that's where. Was it such a bad thing? What if Fraser had said yes? Don't go there, Ray cautioned himself.
The light changed, and Ray found himself flipping through the radio dial again. Seeking country stations now, maybe one of them would be playing that song.
"...Take one day at a time
'Til you find
I'm that someone you can't live without
Until then
I breathe in and breathe out"
End